This is the Average Daily Life by Ava

Cocaine is cheaper than baby formula.

If I had a penis, I would sling-shot popcorn from my erection to my mouth.

Mention someone for no reason just to disturb them.

I’ll take a funny guy over a pretty boy with slick words any day.

Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Might fuck around and reply “who married you?” when people say their divorce is final.

Don't study me. You won't graduate.

If she starts laughing in the middle of an argument, RUN.

*Slaps My Own Ass*

Anything you want babe

I measure whiskey by the mouthful.