This Is Unusable

This Is Unusable

By Ben Steinberg & Tyler MartinComedy
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This Is Unusable episodes

  • Forgot The News Already

    Ben already totally forgot about what went down at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Tyler had to remind him. That's where we are with the news these days.

    Topics discussed:
    - Ben's fake vocal warmup routine
    - Diarrhea, constipation, and constipated diarrhea.
    - "Ballroom Blitz"
    - CT Scans
    - Fat people
    - Genetically modified organisms
    - Eugenics
    - The White House Correspondents' Dinner attempt
    - Black Flag and Ben's encounter with Henry Rollins
    - Al Gore, 9/11 and political inflection points
    - James Comey
    - Sloppy Joe Biden
    - Ben clipping people's hair
    - Pizza Gate
    22:32 Tyler's Poem

    26 min
  • Cat Pope

    Unbeknownst to most, the Pope is actually made up for a bunch of cats stacked on top of each other.

    We discuss Latin, things Ben enjoys, the Catholic Church, Jesus, how to say "cat" in Greek, the Portland Trailblazers, Fox News, the burning down of the White House in 1812, the band Oasis, yarmulkes, the story of Job, Sodom and Gomorrah, the movies "Amour" and "Funny Games" by Michael Haneke, the Adam Sandler movie "Click", and pizza week in Portland.

    27 min
  • Tis The Sneezin

    'Twas the month before May,

    And all through each day,
    Ben's nose was running:
    A fever of hay.
    Ben has some major allergy problem in this episode. Also there are some dick jokes. We talk about Seattle's cream cheese problem, Ben's neighbors, the Straight of Hormuz, a Tommy Wiseau film Tyler saw, Bosley hair restoration, unending allergies, more allergies, lots of allergies, and Tyler's newfound urinary issues.

    22 min
  • World War One If By Air

    I don't even know what to tell you. This is the absolute best episode we've made since the last one. I know I always say that, but I mean it this time. It's literally true. We talk about hats, Kanye, Iran, Passover, the Bible and much more.

    29 min
  • The Fattest Pilot, Eugenics, and the Joys of a Colonoscopy

    Welcome to an actually edited episode of This Is Unusable. The last one wasn't edited. No apologies. In this one, we talk about eugenics, Ben's colonoscopy, and the incredibly fat airline pilot Ben had on his flight from Toronto. The guy was just incredibly fat.

    27 min
  • Raw, Uncut, and Up The Butt

    We recorded this episode yesterday and Ben had no time to edit any of it. Ben talks about prepping for his (early) colonoscopy. Tyler talks about seeing Stormy Daniels. Ben now has to stop writing this and run to the toilet.

    38 min
  • Urine So Far Away

    Ben talks about his missing urine test and discusses a stupid passage he read from a book on insomnia. Tyler makes strange faces that end up being funnier than anything Ben chose to talk about.

    17 min
  • IRAN so far away

    In A.D. 2026 war with Iran was beginning.

    Captain: What happen?
    Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
    All your oil are belong to us.

    We talk about Iran. Also Ben Affleck spilling things.

    00:14 Do ants have dicks?
    01:32 War with Iran
    02:14 Small choices have big consequences
    04:09 Why we attacked Iran
    06:48 Echoes of Vietnam
    08:27 The 1950s anticipated the current conflict
    09:44 Ee-rahn vs Eye-Ran. Country name origins. USA. UAE.
    11:30 USA is No. 1… but in what?
    12:40 Ben Affleck
    13:28 Ben Affleck spilling things
    15:05 Spotify secret war in the South Pole
    16:28 Firefighters
    16:47 Nose blow ad break
    17:50 Firefighting is the last honorable line of work
    18:59 Xbox will die and PlayStation will prevail
    20:22 Circling back to Iran
    21:19 Trump is invincible
    23: 33 Mixing up movies and actors
    24:19 Outro

    26 min
  • Misgendering a Down Syndrome Orangutan

    Ben gives a heartfelt apology. He also goes on an extended rant about pissing into a jug for a 24 hour urine ANALysis. All of this and more on another episode of the very successful and widely renowned podcast "This Is Unusable".

    0:00 Don’t be a burro; have a churro
    2:36 Pitching Chick-Fil-A to a coked-up advertising executive
    3:53 Churro continued
    5:22 Chaos in Puerto Vallarta
    6:24 Canadian hockey team losing to Team USA
    7:49 Misgendering a Down syndrome orangutan
    10:20 Ben’s jug of piss mystery
    18:42 Aqua Teen Hunger Force
    21:55 Putting your grandparents on a rollercoaster until they die
    22:58 Imploding on the Titan submersible
    23:44 outro
    #comedy #podcast
    Orangutan photo credited to Thomas Furmann

    27 min
  • Carpet Diem

    Back to just 2 of us. Thank you, Robert, for your service in the last 2 episodes. We talk about Ben's egg head, Trump going to heaven, the C word, the Super Bowl, a cookie-based game that's fun for the whole family, and a certain Namibian politician with a very unusual name.

    0:00 Welcome to the clown zone
    1:48 Carpet diem
    2:33 Ben has an egg-shaped head
    3:43 Aunty Donna
    5:20 C*nts
    7:21 Donald Trump is going to heaven. The 8th deadly sin.
    8:55 Adolf
    9:33 Adolf Hitler Uunona
    13:34 Super Bowl
    14:11 Inappropriate kneeling
    15:04 Ookie Cookie
    16:04 Nose blow ad break
    16:27 Ookie Cookie continued
    18:03 Super Bowl continued
    20:15 Trying to predict the future

    24 min

About This Is Unusable

From the publisher's feed

The show that embodies the moment between you entering a room and forgetting why you went in there.