This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

We recorded an entire episode—and lost every ducking minute of it—so welcome to Take Two, where we attempt to recreate the magic while becoming increasingly unhinged. Ashten terrorizes two children who won’t stop predicting a plane crash, Jen blames Colorado’s lack of air conditioning for its murder rate, and ChatGPT accidentally kills off the wrong podcast host. Plus: Denver Airport lizard people, Emma leaving for college, Tobin’s newest “bad word,” Gen X party lines, prison romance, UFO sightings, and the deeply emotional question of what our phones would say about us after we’re gone. Somehow, it’s heartfelt, chaotic, and recorded this time.

Why does enrolling your child in the same school require 16 million questions—and exactly how incarcerated are we talking? This week, Jen and Ashten debate top sheets, freshly made beds, suspicious vines growing through light fixtures, and whether Brian Kohberger acted alone. Then Ashten takes us deep into her wildly specific TikTok algorithm, featuring Pentecostal fashion, true crime, dangerous oversharing, and people livestreaming from home while demanding grocery money. Plus, we announce the winner of our one-year anniversary giveaway and prepare for a brief Wyoming-induced hiatus!

We’re celebrating one full year of podcast chaos with a $100 giveaway, undercover Disney princesses, and plans for the ultimate villain-themed Halloween. Then Ashten introduces Jen to Should I Marry a Murderer?, which naturally leads to questions about how much crime you can overlook for a six-foot-four Scottish Highlander. Plus, we investigate sanpaku eyes, Charles Manson conspiracy theories, haunted morticians, Tobin’s newest attitude, and whether your dating standards can accidentally lead you straight into a cult. Happy anniversary to us!

This week, Jen and Ashten debate whether permanent daylight saving time would make everyone happier—or just force us to start work in the dark. Then the conversation takes an emotional turn as Ashten shares how Tobin is beginning to ask questions about his dad, grief, and why some milestones hit harder than others.

They also dive into the wild case of a youth pastor accused of pushing his wife off a cliff, swap Netflix recommendations, review the new Little House on the Prairie, and tumble headfirst into the scandals, affairs, and family secrets of the Kennedys.

Plus, the podcast is officially approaching its one-year anniversary—and they only need two more YouTube subscribers to reach their original goal!

Because apparently nothing says Friday like piña coladas, seasonal depression, true crime, grief, television reviews, and the Kennedys.

We’re back in bed and officially switching to Fridays for the summer because weddings, college, cheerleading, Shrek and life in general have taken over.

This week, Jen demands a ticket to see Garth Brooks while TikTok tries to turn his tour into a true-crime investigation. Then we break down the five types of friends everyone supposedly needs—and confirm that Ashten is less of a “comfort friend” and more of a “who do I need to fight?” friend.

We also get unexpectedly honest about changing seasons, pulling away from people and whether we would rather rewind or pause our lives. Naturally, that emotional conversation somehow becomes a full Adam Sandler movie ranking, a Drew Barrymore debate and another Taylor Swift wedding tangent.

Because this is exactly why we can’t have a podcast.

Happy Monday after the 4th! We’re still sipping Kiss on the Lips, still recovering from the weekend, and somehow going from patriotic sewing plans to Netflix recommendations, Yellowstone spin-offs, Little House on the Prairie reboot concerns, and the emotional damage of watching Toy Story across three generations.

Then things take a darker turn as we fall into true crime and conspiracy rabbit holes, including the Springfield Three, old-school Unsolved Mysteries, Circleville letters, Charles Morgan, and why some cases still haunt us decades later.

There are crackers, brain freezes, serial killer statistics, Ohio questions, and one very awkward reminder that we really do say things out loud and then hope nobody hears them.

We’re back, themed-ish, and kicking off July with a Carnival cruise classic: Kiss on the Lips. This Friday episode goes from social media trends we are officially over, to dangerous TikTok art, OOTD exhaustion, gaming rabbit holes, shallow dating pools, “sup beautiful” trauma, and the couple who decided the Empire State Building needed a little illegal romance.

We also talk summer playlists, songs that remind you of your friends, hypothetical questions, possum enemies, Walmart survival plans, and why a mad goose may be the final boss of everyday inconvenience.

Basically, we missed y’all… and immediately proved why we can’t have a podcast.

This week, we start with a very normal podcast warm-up: canoe near-death experiences, projectile vomiting in a kayak, and a toddler poop emergency that deserves its own hazard pay. Then we somehow pivot into Netflix’s Maternal Instinct, fake pregnancies, burner phones, narcissists, and why TikTok investigators may actually be scarier than the FBI. It’s messy, unhinged, mildly educational, and exactly why we can’t have a podcast. 💩🚣‍♀️📱

This Friday episode starts with post-Scotland jet lag, business catch-up chaos, and the discovery that Jen’s “old lady YouTube” may actually be ahead of TikTok. Then we fall straight into the disturbing rabbit hole of Timber Bowman, delusional stalking, spiritual advisors, baby reindeer vibes, and why technology has made being creepy a full-time job. Somehow, we also cover roller coaster rescues, TSA pat-downs, Newark airport energy, and why saving someone’s life should not come with a complaint form. ✈️📱🎢

We’re back from Scotland, and apparently all it took was castles, kilts, Outlander locations, confusing accents, and one very honest tour guide to nearly take us out.

In this Scotland edition, we recap our senior trip adventure through Edinburgh, Inverness, Glasgow, castles, countryside, the stones that absolutely did not buzz, and the magical people who somehow tolerated us. We discuss our deep love for Paul and Cameron, our confusion over tipping, our emotional support pizza, the “hell no to Glasgow” experience, driving on the wrong side of the road, Emma’s dangerous swing moment, the pineapple house, airplane rage, hostel warnings, and the brutal Scottish ranking system that left Ashten “barely passable.”

Basically, we went looking for Outlander magic and found friendship, chaos, flat whites, FIFA confusion, and several reasons why we probably should not be allowed abroad unsupervised!