This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

A snowball of chaos hosted by Jen & the perpetually over-caffeinated Ashten

Hold on to your Santa hats, because this episode has everything no one asked for but desperately needed:

• ❄️ The weather is colder than Ashten’s heart before coffee
• 🐈 Jen’s cat pulled a “surprise! I’m knocked up!” plot twist
• 🚗 Road rage confessions that will have the DMV reconsidering our licenses
• 🔧 Car maintenance? Never heard of her.
• 🤼‍♂️ A deep dive into why 80s wrestling was basically soap operas with muscles
• 🎄 Christmas plans full of hope… and thinly veiled panic
• 💋 Age gaps in relationships — because society still loves a double standard
• 😂 Enough personal anecdotes to make you feel incredibly normal

We deliver vibes, chaos, and questionable life advice — all wrapped in tinsel and regret.

If you came for structure… honestly why are you here? But if you’re here for laughs, oversharing, and Jen saying “I hope you do well” like a passive-aggressive Victorian ghost… welcome home.

Hold on to your hats because today we are all over the map!  Our video is blurry and we're barely on the rails but we are here ready to entertain!

In this episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter about football, share amusing anecdotes about a cat attack, and delve into the emotional rollercoaster of planning a surprise birthday party. They reflect on personal milestones, discuss the significance of December for engagements and breakups, and explore the complexities of family dynamics in relationships. The conversation wraps up with a humorous take on social media communication challenges.

Don't expect much from us today - we are in full self-care mode!  Get your face masks and lavender ready and laugh along with our ridiculousness!

In this lively conversation, the hosts discuss the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and personal milestones, including a significant birthday and a wedding in the family. They reflect on life transitions, the challenges of caregiving, and the importance of choosing the right partner in marriage. The conversation also touches on Thanksgiving traditions and food preferences, leading to a humorous rant about customer service experiences at Sonic. Throughout, the themes of gratitude, connection, and the complexities of family dynamics are prevalent.

00:00 Thanksgiving and Birthdays: A Time for Reflection
05:47 Caregiving: The Unsung Heroes
12:49 Thanksgiving Traditions and Food Preferences
19:23 Customer Service Rants: Sonic Experience
29:22 Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

The conversation revolves around the humorous and light-hearted discussion of what names future grandchildren might call their grandmother, with a focus on the implications of age and identity in familial roles.

Takeaways

The choice of grandma names can reflect generational attitudes.
Humor plays a significant role in family discussions.
Names can carry cultural and personal significance.
The idea of being a 'young' grandmother is subjective.
Family dynamics often influence naming conventions.
Conversations about names can lead to deeper reflections on identity.
The importance of maintaining a youthful spirit in family roles.
Names can evoke strong emotional responses.
Family discussions can be both serious and playful.
The topic of grandma names can spark creativity and laughter.

Welcome back to another episode where Jen and Ashten try to have structured adult conversation and instead derail into twelve topics, three emotional spirals, and one government scandal. 🎙️💥

We start with time management and somehow end up discussing:
    •    AI judging us like it pays our bills.
    •    Music therapy aka crying in the car like the main character.
    •    The CIA spending MILLIONS trying to turn HOUSE CATS into SECRET AGENTS (someone approved that???).
    •    TikTok rabbit holes that begin with crockpot recipes and end with underground Costco bunkers.
    •    Parenting in 2025 where we are basically the office managers of tiny unhinged roommates.

And THEN we ask the question that no one prepared for but everyone needs answered:

Why is there no “WIDOW” box on paperwork???

Like, I didn’t forget.
I didn’t misplace him like a library book.
Stop making me choose between single and married. Make the widow box, cowards. 🪦🖊️

Also, we drag stick figure family car decals because why are we broadcasting household headcounts? Absolutely not.

If you’re tired, confused, highly caffeinated, and emotionally held together by podcast humor and iced coffee—you belong here. 🤝

Grab your headphones, your emotional support snack, and your unresolved emotions.
It’s time. 🎧💅

This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast

Welcome back to another episode of unhinged bestie logic, where one of us is thriving in No Spend November (it’s Jen, shockingly ) and the other one is currently explaining why a Stanley cup in a new color is an emotional need, not a purchase (hi, it’s Ashten 🥲).

In this episode we cover:

💸 No Spend November — where it came from, who started it, and why we should probably sue them.

💄 Full Glam Every Day Women:
You know those women who wake up, contour, blend, bake, and sparkle before 9am?
Yeah… we need to know HOW, WHY, and are they okay???

🦃 The Presidential Turkey Pardon:
Jen: “Oh yeah, they pardoned the turkey.”
Ashten: “I’m sorry, the WHAT?”
We go deep. It’s emotional. It’s poultry.

😍 Presidential Crushes:
Because everyone has one. Don’t lie.
And yes, ours says a lot about our attachment styles.
Don’t worry — we unpack that too.

🔮 Superstition Showdown:
Do you knock on wood?
Avoid stepping on cracks?
Refuse to put your purse on the floor?
Prepare to find out which one of us is a fun quirky star
and which one may need to sage the entire house immediately.

It’s chaos. It’s laughter. It’s learning (barely).
Come listen and question our life choices with us.

🎧 Grab your earbuds. This one is chef’s-kiss ridiculous.

We swore this was going to be a soft, cozy, pumpkin-spice-flavored episode.
You know… gentle vibes, a light breeze, maybe a candle lit, maybe us pretending we meditate.

Yeah. No.
We immediately spiraled.

We start with November birthdays and somehow convince ourselves they are the main characters of the zodiac (they are… but like, relax). Then we slide straight into holiday traditions — the ones we lovingly keep doing even though everyone in the room is one green bean casserole away from starting a family feud.

And then, of course, the seasonal emotional rollercoaster begins.
The temperature drops and suddenly we’re crying at commercials, reorganizing closets at 2am, wearing chunky sweaters like we’re in a Gilmore Girls reboot, and calling every small task “self-care” because we are trying our best, okay?

If you’re currently:
    •    emotionally preparing for Thanksgiving chaos,
    •    mood-swinging with the weather,
    •    or simply existing at what we call “Mid-Level Bare Minimum,”

then pull up a chair, grab your blanket, and join us.
This is your safe space.
Your emotional support podcast.
Your permission to be both sentimental and completely unhinged.

Welcome home, babes.
We’re in this November spiral together.

This week, we’re knee-deep in Halloween nostalgia, debating the Great Trunk-or-Treat Crisis of Modern Parenting™, and asking the important questions… like why are we all dressing our toddlers as pumpkins when we KNOW they’re feral raccoons at heart?

We’re talking:
• The glory days of running wild in the dark with a pillowcase full of sugar
• Why Trunk-or-Treat feels like Halloween with training wheels
• The costumes our parents should’ve gone to jail for letting us wear
• And yes… we let ChatGPT choose our group costume (hint: Sanderson Sisters chaotic energy was FOUND.)

Nostalgia. Humor. A tiny existential crisis about whether we’re making “core memories” or just buying $38 costumes our kids refuse to wear.
You know. Seasonal content.

🕯️ If Halloween makes you emotional about childhood and also slightly judge-y about modern parenting… this one’s for you. 🕯️