In this episode, Philip Sustar shares his recovery story. He also attended the 2nd Finding Peace Retreat last April.  

0.44 – Meet Philip Sustar…..

1:42 – Philip begins his story and identifies his first attachment wounds: Loss and Abandonment when his father passed away.

2:48 – Philip shares his associated negative core belief with Loss and Abandonment, particularly around men.  He identifies that these negative core beliefs still affect him today even though the wounds occurred at such a young age.

3:36 – Philip is exposed to pornography at the age of 7. With no-one around to help him process the experience, he quickly identified a numbing tool to deal with his attachment wounds.

6:04 – Philip recognized that sex had become his primary coping tool. He realizes now that he was actually craving emotional connection, but his numbing behaviors were simply a counterfeit for the real thing.

7:50 – Philip shares that his first marriage didn’t last. His sexual numbing behaviors had a direct impact on the marriage.  He recognized the progression of his addictive behaviors and saw the path didn’t have a good outcome unless he changed some things in his life.

9:42 – Philip shares how joining a group changed the trajectory of his life. He shares how he had to confront shame with courage.

11:38 – Philip shares one his triggers and recognized it wasn’t the surface level temptations, but deeper emotional struggles. He identified more negative core beliefs that had been tattooed on his heart.

13:44 –Philip shared how he became familiar with the Finding Peace Retreat. He discussed his plan to do a deeper dive in the work, but also admitted that going to the retreat was his way of kicking himself in the pants to actually do the healing work he knew he needed.

15:50 – Philip shared one of the biggest impacts of the Finding Peace retreat. He identified that having women on the retreat helped him be able to process some of his woundedness around women, particularly with the wound of rejection.  There was a discussion about how beneficial it has been to keep the retreat co-ed for both male and female participants.

20:45 – Philip identified what changed about him after coming home from the retreat. He shared that learning the perspective of Attachment wounds went a long way to understand his own behaviors and the behaviors of others.  He also shared that the retreat introduced him to the Shadows of Shame that have been trying to negatively affect him and distract.