As the last day of Mental Health Awareness month, this episode is an exploration of the fear that has kept me up and night and the faith that has given me the courage to love being awake.
Indeed, mental health has been a real challenge for me, even to the extent that, at one point, my doctor put me on disability for panic attacks. I’ve spent years with anxiety and depression as my default modes of being, and it hasn’t been easy. Still, somedays I can hardly focus for the deafening pounding of my own heart.
At one point, I did try pharmaceuticals for the insomnia, but they didn’t work. I tried meditation. Diet. Exercise. But ultimately the only thing that has really made a difference has been faith, which came as a surprise seeing that I come from a science-based family where evidence-based facts are the only things that really hold up.
Indeed, faith is something that I came to by fire -digestion disabled, stress sky-rocked, immune-system down, sleep impossible, and a general loss of will to live, it has been the faithful who have healed me. From the story of Noah and his arch to the brave, barefoot wanderers, to random prophetic gas-station clerks, whether these living angels credited “The Creator,” “Buddha,” “God,” “Goddess,” “Gaia,” “The Universe,” or “Big Dog,” the courageous and grateful models of their lives instilled in me the commitment to relentlessly follow my inspiration and not ask “if?” there’s a silver lining, but “how?”
Living from a perspective that I will find the perfection in whatever life hands me gives me the courage to live in alignment with my own values, without which I am easily tempted to behave in ways that ultimately cause shame, self-hatred, depression, and even more fear. No doubt, in a world, and a time, where fear is so prevalent, to live faithfully is a practice that makes me grateful for the forgiveness when I stumble.
In any case, in my Living Mirror practice, I’m always looking for reflections to affirm and guide the grace in my life, and this podcast is a record of that practice, in real time. I hope it inspires great trust in small voice that guides inside, and the challenge, and blessing, of being alive. What a gift to human together.
Play-By-Play:
00:00: Welcome to the Moment
00:24: Peed Pants and Wolves Cried
02:35: "Nuestra Señora Guadalupe Apaga Las Alarmas*
07:14: A + B = just what we need
09:49: "Piggy and Puppy Play"
13:50: The Courage to Expect Miracles
15:15: "The Stars Guide Grace" **
18:36: Cheers to the Wondering
Reflective References:
*includes the direct quote from Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego
**includes bible quotes: John 3:8 and Matthew 14:24