I talk about getting attacked by a pack of teenagers in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn on Halloween night in 2011.

I rant about Dave Chappelle’s new Netflix special Sticks & Stones, Dale Beran’s (author of "It Came From Something Awful) appearance on WTF with Marc Maron, and why using the internet to ask for help is a terrible idea.

"At the time this all just felt like a crazy soap opera that was unraveling before my eyes. But now I realize that this event was an example of natural selection in effect. Habitats produce a pecking order. And if you run afoul of this order, you’ll be asked to leave the tribe."

I rant about terrible ways to start a conversation, having a really low bar for success, and why Once Upon A Time In Hollywood feels like Tarantino’s stand against millennials.

I recall my confrontation with a card-carrying member of the language police at a house party in Bushwick.

I rant about voluntarily putting yourself into solitary confinement, the biggest group cesspit on Facebook and why leaning into your addictions might be the right move.

Unarmed, unprepared, unintelligent. I went looking for grizzlies with my mates in the middle of the Alaskan summer. In retrospect this was one of the dumbest things I ever did.

I rant about the power of civilized disobedience, share a theory about people who are always sharing new theories and explain why your nut sack will prevent you from getting to the bottom of the Jeffrey Epstein suicide/murder.

I discuss my time backpacking through Stuttgart in 2007.

I rant about how the French own a stereotype like no one else, the seediness of Miami’s glamour and the different personalities of AFL pundits.