Thoughts May Vary

When is it okay to never get over something? When is it time to stop unpacking in therapy and start moving forward? Where do you start if you don’t have the tools? Today, we answer all of these and more with licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharaon. 

Vienna Pharaon is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. Vienna’s new book ‘The Origins of You’ teaches readers to change unwanted patterns in their lives by changing their relationship to their past wounds. 

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

0:00 Intro

5:38 Vienna's unpacking

19:46 Behaviors & grief

21:29 When is it okay to never get over something?

26:33 Where to start if you don't have all the tools?

32:06 Trading authenticity for attachment

40:54 When is it time to stop digging through the past and start moving forward?

48:06 Addressing the "mother wound" 

58:14 Self-worth, expanders, & not putting people on pedestals

1:03:13 The twin demons: repetition and opposition & what integration looks like

MORE VIENNA:

The Origins Of You: https://viennapharaon.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-keeps-happening-with-vienna-pharaon/id1702579456

IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

From setting emotional boundaries around loved ones in the beginning stages of self work to coping with the present moment… you know the drill. You ask, we answer. 

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

0:00 Morning pages

01:07 Go see "Origin”

09:19 Art & activism in relation to mental health advocacy

10:15 The power of questions

13:35 Q1: Tips & thoughts for going off birth control after 10 years?

17:15 Q2: What's something that you've been meaning to tell someone recently?

19:25 Q3: How to cope when you know where you want to be but aren't there yet?

24:14 Q4: How do you get back into spirituality after taking a break?

27:14 Q5: What are ways you wish you wouldn’t have shown up for yourself when you were younger?

32:15 Q6: Tips for having patience and setting emotional boundaries around loved ones who are in the initial stages of self-work?

35:47 Q7: How do you know when it's time to stop going to therapy?

36:15 Q8: Would love a chit-chat about favorite recurring signs and symbols

38:14 Q9: How do you bring something to your relationship with your mentor?

40:46 Q10: At times I feel I'm too picky and that my standards are too high and that's why I'm alone, any advice?

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today we’re unpacking all things sexual wellness alongside Sex & Relationship expert, Dr. Tara! Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, an award-winning researcher, a sex and relationship coach, and the host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. 

We asked you on Instagram what sex and mental health questions you wanted answers to and Dr. Tara delivered. We unpack confidence and communication in the bedroom, how to find a sex therapist, tips for healing from sex trauma—this episode is a crash course on sexual wellness. 

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

0:00 Intro

6:18 Dr. Tara's unpacking

12:59 How Dr. Tara's relationship has played a positive role in her sexual journey

30:03 "Monogomish" relationship

32:34 The most asked question... answered!

35:56 Q1: How to balance sex being intimate and connective but also hot and fun?

37:50 How to spice it up in the bedroom

47:53 Q2: When somebody wants more instruction or direction, how do you actually convey this?

50:51 Q3: How to move past bad experiences and how to heal from sex trauma?

52:46 How to find a good sex therapist

58:37 Q4: Tips for naturally increasing libido?

1:04:42 Pumpkin Hours

1:08:36 Q5: How to overcome sexual shame from the way you were raised, your culture, etc?

1:17:50 Q6: How do I figure out my kinks when I'm not currently partnered or sexually active?

MORE DR. TARA:

Connect with Dr. Tara: https://www.luvbites.co/

Listen to Luvbites by Dr. Tara: https://www.luvbites.co/podcast

IG: https://www.instagram.com/luvbites.co/

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This episode is a toolkit to understand the power of intentional language and how to be a master manifestor. Today, we unpack the power of language, emotional manifestation, choosing a path of least resistance, how to hear yourself clearly, why everything should be more simple, the importance of imagination and play), plus so much more. And, we get to do so alongside family.

Please welcome Anne Louise, visionary entrepreneur, author, speaker, executive advisor, certified Master Hypnotherapist, and positive psychology and meditation expert. She also happens to be our own Gabriela’s “other mother”. Her books, Power Wishing™ and Visible You, alongside her workshops equip us with a blueprint to heal and live authentically. Today’s episode is a true family affair—enjoy!

0:00 Intro

7:58 Anne Louise’s Unpacking

23:22 What's the biggest mistake people make with their language when manifesting?

25:36 Where to start when learning the language/frequency that we want to match

37:28 Imagination & Play (how to come back when enduring trauma in real time)

42:26 Hearing ourselves despite the noise

46:19 Parceling out the noise vs intuition 

51:42 Commodification of the wellness community

56:18 Choosing a path of least resistance

1:06:07 Anne Louise's advice to m+g

1:06:37 The importance of the "retreat" and what that can look like

1:13:08 The connection between loss and guilt

MORE ANNE LOUISE:

https://www.thisisannelouise.com/

Books & Journals: https://www.thisisannelouise.com/shop

Sign up for Anne Louise’s upcoming Spring 2024 workshops: https://www.thisisannelouise.com/workshops-test

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What is it about our ability to recognize all of our self growth in the past… and yet we seem to forget that who we are right now, will change and grow again and again in the future? Today we unpack the “end of history” illusion, our umbrage with New Years, and Meadowlark shares a life update :) 

0:00 Intro

4:14 M's unpacking

11:42 M's announcement

14:23 Sharing personal information on the internet

25:08 G's unpacking

37:52 What is it about failing or meeting a new version of ourselves that feels so hard to let go of?

49:22 Our Beef with Buzzwords

50:49 M takes umbrage with NYE "ins & outs" lists

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In an attempt to walk our walk... rather than showing up half-heartedly, we are full-heartedly showing up to tell you we're not showing up. In other words, we are gifting ourselves the next two weeks off to live in the present moment, give our team a well-deserved break, rest, reflect, plant seeds, and dream up our next year together.

A "future planning guide" is live of Patreon (more on this in Thought 89). Take some time to dream up what you want for yourself and turn them into actionable goals. You can find it here: https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

Start the psychology-backed manifestation process with our digital manifestation journal, Co-Create. You can find it here: https://thoughtsmayvary.com/cocreate

We love you and hope you enjoy the rest of 2023 with presence, joy, and gratitude. See you in 2024!!!!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this wild ride of a Thought, the cohosts catch up on everything from the spirituality of plastic surgery, the importance of having hobbies, to recognizing when and how it’s time to become a “girl’s girl”. 

“It’s not that deep… it’s basically the manifestation of what happens when women have been pitted against each other historically, pervasively, and systematically” (if you don’t know us like that yet, please understand our humor is extremely facetious).

0:00 Intro 

2:33 G’s Lip Filler Adventure

7:48 Finding a balance

10:58 Transparency vs not owing anyone anything

15:01 Hannah Montana & hobbies

20:07 Awkward phases

22:08 Living on different sides of the internet

25:07 Unpacking the Sister Wound

29:02 How the sister wound shows up in our lives

45:57 G’s Unpacking

52:42 When did M realize her ideas towards female friendships needed to change?

55:38 Healing the sister wound

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This short and sweet Thought all started when a psychic told Meadow to update her five, three, and one year plan… you wish we were joking. For folks with colorful mental health journeys (present company included) it can be challenging to identify long-term goals or dreams—let alone, putting those into practice via habits, discipline, and strategic planning. With the end of 2023 upon us, here’s how these two knuckleheads are reflecting on their paths and visualizing their futures. 

0:00 Intro

3:05 Meadowlark’s meditation

4:09 Future planning + meditation structure

5:51 Mapping out the future

8:30 Surprises

11:00 Daily habits to help reach the goal

12:55 Finding your why

14:11 A ‘no’ is just as valuable as a ‘yes’

16:53 Approaching with curiosity

21:11 Allowing for inspiration + find your priority

27:23 Diary of a CEO we love you

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

How to cope with career setbacks, tips for finding a mentor, and what to do if you don’t know what to talk about in therapy. As always, you ask (the incredible, thoughtful, delicious questions) and we’re here to provide just one answer. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. You know how to empower yourself and your healing more than anyone else. 

Q1: How do you balance intuitive spiritual practices and a productive working life? Seems impossible!

Q2: If you don't know what to talk about with your therapist do you just reschedule or go?

Q3: How did you maintain hope and faith that you would eventually meet someone and be in a great relationship?

Q4: How to cope effectively when opportunities or projects don't work out?

Q5: How do you seek mentorship?

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Cyrus Veyssi is here and we couldn’t be more over the moon about it! Cyrus is everyone’s favorite Iranian American non-binary content creator, spreading joy across the interwebs with their humor, intellect, family fun, clack backs, and snatched looks.

Today, Cyrus joined the familia to unpack: corporate America confidence, shifting definitions of “success”, using comedy to combat anxiety, advice for someone who doesn’t know how to talk to their family about their queerness or mental health, how to show up as a support person for someone you love, and so much more. 

0:00 Intro

3:53 Style as a journey

10:31 Cyrus's unpacking

14:26 Corporate America & confidence

19:58 Shifting definitions of "success"

33:57 Using comedy to combat anxiety

42:00 It’s a new moon

46:57 Advice for someone who doesn't know how to talk to their family about their queerness or mental health

54:42 How to support/advocate for someone in the way they want you to

59:17 Being multifaceted and unapologetic

1:03:03 Holiday traditions

ALL THINGS CYRUS

https://www.tiktok.com/@cyrusveyssi?lang=en

https://www.instagram.com/cyrusveyssi/

Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 

SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: 

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop

Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary

🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️

🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  

🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes

https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod

https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod

Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod

Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark

Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_

DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands