Thrive After Abuse

Narcissists target people based on supply and in order to get that supply, they manipulate their vulnerabilities. They do this is in a wide variety of ways, most of which fall within the realm of what I call "I CHIVE" which stands for: Isolation, Charm, Hope, Intimidation, Violence, and Emotion. In order for us to prevent being manipulated, it's really helpful if we know what manipulative behavior looks like in motion so we don't keep getting sucked in by it.

...Towards the tail end of this podcast, I talk about the need for us to use logic and reason when interacting with someone and not go based off of our emotions. What I meant by this is to not go based off of the emotions that were being manipulated or the emotions of being blinded by our "love" for them. It's important that we see their behavior for what it is and then respond accordingly. 

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

I know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder but I have trouble with the idea that they should be completely abandoned. What about compassion, understanding, and love without expecting anything in return?

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

How long is it going to take for me to get over him and move on? You just got emotional about what you've been through with Jack and it's been six years!

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

I have a question regarding healing from a relationship with a narcissist. I'm fairly certain that my ex is a covert narc or at least an extremely passive-aggressive and manipulative person. This is not only because of how his behavior fits into the description but also how my emotional situation coming out of the relationship has been. One of the main struggles that I'm having in the moment is feeling like I can't be trusted in picking out worthwhile relationships and nontoxic people. I've become socially secluded and paranoid aside from three people who have shown me that they deserve my trust. I am working with a therapist but I was wondering if you could address this topic.

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

How can I tell if I'm seeing a red flag or I'm just being hypervigilant?

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

Dear Dana, How do I divorce my narcissistic wife?

I am married to an evil and hateful woman. She didn't start off this way. When we were dating she was so good to me. She always made time for me and made me my favorite meals. And she encouraged me to spend time with my friends. Once we got married everything changed. She's made the last 20 years of my life a living hell. Only our children see how awful she is. She is active in our church and volunteers all the time. She hasn't worked a day in the past 20 years while I've worked two jobs to support our family. It's not like she was a stay at home mom which I would have totally supported. Our kids were in daycare before school and then after school. I found out that she's racked up over $75,000 in credit card debt that I knew nothing about. She's refinanced our house; all the equity is gone. I've waited to leave until our children were grown and moved out. I'm ready to leave her but I'm scared of what she's going to do. How do I divorce a woman like this?

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

How can we learn to listen to our gut instinct if we already doubt our judgment? Sometimes my feelings about a situation don't make sense. Things don't add up logically.

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

How do you get a narcissist out of your life? I am a female with a female friend who lives about an hour away. I don't see her often but she calls me on her way home from work. I've tried for a long time to have a normal friendship with her but I've given up. I've started researching narcissism and now I'm convinced that she is a narcissist. I've discovered that there have been a lot of them in my life and now I know what to look for. I just need to know how to get this one out of my life without a battle. One way I know is to not react to anything emotionally. Do you have any other tips?

Have a question you'd like answered in a future podcast episode or YouTube video? If so, send me an email me at: [email protected]  (make sure to use a name that you feel comfortable with me putting on the air).  

The live streams happen every Wednesday at 8:30pm EST over on my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/thriveafterabuse and they run for about 2.5 hours.

 If you are looking for support, I have two support groups (both are free). The first one is on my website: www.thriveafterabuse.com/forum and the second one is on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse (it is a closed group, but please make sure to read the group rules before you post so that you can change any privacy settings you may need to in order to stay safe). 

Looking for daily motivation, inspiration, or more information about narcissism in general?  You can find me (Dana Morningstar) at:

 Facebook/ThriveAfterAbuse

YouTube/ThriveAfterAbuse

Instagram/ThriveAfterAbuse

ThriveAfterAbuse.com 

In this episode I discuss the pros and cons of trying to warn a new person their their "Prince (or Princess) Charming" is really narcissistic and abusive. 

...Have a question you'd like answered in a future podcast episode or YouTube video? If so, you can send me an email me at: [email protected]  (make sure to use a name that you feel comfortable with me putting on the air), and I'll see what I can do!

Looking for daily motivation, inspiration, or more information about narcissism in general?  You can find me (Dana Morningstar) at:

 Facebook/ThriveAfterAbuse

YouTube/ThriveAfterAbuse

Instagram/ThriveAfterAbuse

ThriveAfterAbuse.com 

Is it me or is it him? Am I being unreasonable? I am so confused. I dated this wonderful guy for six months. We've been on and off. Every time we have a disagreement he gives me the silent treatment. He's a christian and he goes to church. But he's always telling me about how the women in his church like him but he isn't interested in them. We recently got back together and everything was going fine until this woman called his phone and he put it on speakerphone so I could hear the conversation. She seemed really upset and asked him why he didn't tell her he had a girlfriend. This was the second time she called and I grabbed the phone and told her, "Yes, I am his girlfriend and we've been together for six months." He was calm and explained that she was upset because she wanted more than a friendship with him. I'm not sure what to think. But I don't think he's being honest with me. I'm still upset and I told him about it but he doesn't want me to bring it up. He acts like it never happened. I'm feeling angry and frustrated most of the time. I told him to stop calling me so he did. He does not care about my feelings and now I'm concerned he's a narcissist. How do I know for sure he's a narcissist? I know for sure he's a liar.

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com