Thrive After Abuse

In this episode, I talk about the types of people narcissists are attracted to and why. 

This is an older episode, and I use the term "codependent" to describe the types of people overt narcissists are attracted to, but I feel that needs some more explaining.

I was using the term "codependent" to refer to the kind of person who is an "over-giver." Someone who continually gives a person second and twenty-second chances, doesn't have any deal breakers or solid boundaries, and who is quick to put others (especially overt narcissists) first and themselves last. I also touch on in the end that not all people who act this way are necessarily codependent. (My definition of codependency is where one person clings to relationships because they need others to make them feel loved or "complete" often with disasterous consequences.)

Many people who are/were forever holding onto hope that another person could change, and putting their wants and needs last (myself included) do so because they may not have ever realized that dangerous and destructive people could be in their lives as a significant other, parent, friend, coworker, therapist, etc. This simply wasn't on our radar, and so once we know better, we can start to do better. 

Do you think that a narcissist is attracted to a particular type of person? I'm asking because I've been in several relationships with several different narcissists.

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com

My narcissist up and left me recently for somebody else. I'm in a tremendous amount of pain and I can't seem to wrap my mind around why her and not me? What's different about her and why is he treating her better?

YouTube video series that I mention at the end of the podcast: https://youtu.be/SoMYqD52Rxo?list=PLcjFWuvIFFzJoo_mlUTWBGHhz9DXc7t5J

(The main video in this series that I think will be helpful is the one called, "Want to Know WHY you Are Dating a Narcissist?)

Have a question you'd like answered in a future podcast episode or YouTube video? If so, send me an email me at: [email protected]  (make sure to use a name that you feel comfortable with me putting on the air).  

The live streams happen every Wednesday at 8:30pm EST over on my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/thriveafterabuse and they run for about 2.5 hours.

 If you are looking for support, I have two support groups (both are free). The first one is on my website: www.thriveafterabuse.com/forum and the second one is on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse (it is a closed group, but please make sure to read the group rules before you post so that you can change any privacy settings you may need to in order to stay safe). 

Looking for daily motivation, inspiration, or more information about narcissism in general?  You can find me (Dana Morningstar) at:

 Facebook/ThriveAfterAbuse

YouTube/ThriveAfterAbuse

Instagram/ThriveAfterAbuse

ThriveAfterAbuse.com 

In this episode, the question of what a normal relationship is discussed.  It's very common for a person to come out of a relationship with a narcissist, and to be so confused as to what's normal (because they've been told the whole time that all this abusive or problematic behavior they've been experiencing is normal). I discuss the difference between normal and healthy, as well as why aiming for "normal" can be problematic in it's own way.  

...Have a question you'd like answered in a future podcast episode or YouTube video? If so, you can send me an email me at: [email protected]  (make sure to use a name that you feel comfortable with me putting on the air), and I'll see what I can do!

Looking for daily motivation, inspiration, or more information about narcissism in general?  You can find me (Dana Morningstar) at:

 Facebook/ThriveAfterAbuse

YouTube/ThriveAfterAbuse

Instagram/ThriveAfterAbuse

ThriveAfterAbuse.com 

Can you talk more about boundaries? What are healthy boundaries? Are there unhealthy boundaries? I've been told in my past that I've been violating boundaries. But once my eyes were opened I realized that it was just another way for the narcissist to lie to me and blame me for being wrong.

Have a question you'd like answered in a future podcast episode or YouTube video? If so, send me an email me at: [email protected]  (make sure to use a name that you feel comfortable with me putting on the air).  

The live streams happen every Wednesday at 8:30pm EST over on my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/thriveafterabuse and they run for about 2.5 hours.

 If you are looking for support, I have two support groups (both are free). The first one is on my website: www.thriveafterabuse.com/forum and the second one is on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse (it is a closed group, but please make sure to read the group rules before you post so that you can change any privacy settings you may need to in order to stay safe). 

Looking for daily motivation, inspiration, or more information about narcissism in general?  You can find me (Dana Morningstar) at:

 Facebook/ThriveAfterAbuse

YouTube/ThriveAfterAbuse

Instagram/ThriveAfterAbuse

ThriveAfterAbuse.com 

How do I get over the fantasy love bombing? I keep coming across information that says I'll never find that charm again. My therapist says I need a boring guy. But I don't want a boring guy. I'm having difficulty letting go of all that magical stuff regardless of all the crap my ex narcissist has done.

To find out more or to get support: http://www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com