The Feedback Journey

Not being able to handle feedback and not knowing how to show up caused emotional blindness.

Why people run away from Feedback

Feedback does affect us neurobiologically—we are tossed into a toxic state of stress. The experience of getting feedback is not only unpleasant but physically debilitating.

People run away from giving and receiving feedback for fear of the unknown. We end up doing a lot of feedback aversion and not a lot of feedback conversion. We approach feedback with fear, hesitation and skepticism. But feedback is meant to help people. 

Think of feedback as something to grow from, not only as something to go through.

The 3M Method of Feedback: MINDSET

Feedback is a two-way dynamic, but if we get the giving of feedback right, we can do more service for the receiver.

Align these things to give feedback right:

1. Mindset - Come to terms with the fact that the past is unchangeable. Orient yourself towards a future that can evolve. The sooner you make the shift, the sooner you can be positioned for growth, not fear.

"FeedFORWARD" is strengths-based, future-focused feedback that doesn't dwell in the past— a place of possibility and potential. It is where human potential evolves.

The 3M Method of Feedback: MESSAGING

Stop serving a praise sandwich—a diminished message. It serves neither the giver nor the receiver. Praise, when rooted on effort and process, pays and is a powerful motivator. But the problem is when you sandwich it—you dilute the message. 

Praise sandwich dilutes trust and tarnish the relationship between the giver and receiver of feedback.

The Feedback WRAP

Feedback WRAP (What and where, Reason, Affect and Prompt) is a four-part plan for having more candid, caring and collaborative conversations confronting issues that matter when they matter most and it delivers the information in a just-in-time fashion to help people's determination to change.

1. What and Where: Give your feedback a zip code. Be really clear about the intention—let people know very clear what are you going to talk about.
2. Reason: Tell your reason to give people awareness and a sense of security or certainty.
3. Affect: Think about impact, not judgment, describe not prescribe. Focus not on what they did but on how others experienced it. Name it, not blame it.
4. Prompt: Shift from telling and selling to listening and learning.

Feedback becomes a partnership, a two-way dialogue. Always ask for permission to share a feedback, move it on a neutral ground.

The 3M Method of Feedback: MEASURE

Best way to create accountability is to create self-accountability. Help people take charge of their own path of progress. 

As the giver, encourage the receiver to look back at their goals and check back in to reassess. Feedback will happen more frequently and fluidly.

Being a mirror-holder for people receiving the feedback shifts the dynamics from "doing to the person" to "doing for the person."

Joe's Best Medicine: Partnership

From wounding to finding my WHY

Moment of Awakening: I get richer, but it's not making me any happier. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. The world may be applauding me but I know I was a well-dressed shark.

Living in the Matrix: Finite Games and Infinite Games

We are caught up in this Western society's standards—playing finite games. Men play finite games. But the only game we have to play is the infinite game of evolution.

Playing the infinite game of evolution where you don't seek any trophies but reach your highest potential. When you play that game, you can freely play in any finite game you want because you're not attached to the outcome anymore.

Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of the child at play.

We take ourselves and these finite games way too seriously. The only thing you should take seriously is your personal evolution and reaching your highest potential.

On Downsizing and Change

It's not easy. But if you want to be free, you have to let go of the attachments to things that you think say about you as a human being.

The change process can get messy. But it's a part of the evolution in you.

Reminders:

(1) Everything is always in perfect order. Everything is here for a reason, to give you something. So ASK: what good in this situation am I not seeing now? Difficulties and challenges are not random and are not punishments.

(2) Everything always happens with the greatest growth, prosperity, and evolution. Remember that we only see 1% of the reality—we see the effects of causes of what might be beyond what we actually could know.

No man ever steps the same river twice. This universe is changing eternally. So you're never stuck.

Tools to Staying Awake

There's a lot of chaos in the world right now. When you get triggered, tell yourself: That's not me. It's passing through me. I am not angry, I am experiencing an angry emotion. Keep your own tranquility.

Meditation can be used in a practical way. Like working out, find something that you enjoy.

Everybody is a healer—our job as coaches is to awaken that within people.

Robert's Best Medicine: Self-Love.

Show Notes

• What your genes tell you

You can't change your genes, but you can change how they are expressed. You can modify your lifestyle based on certain aspects of what your genes say.

The DNA is not your destiny, but it is your tendencies. Looking at genetics helps tell what you're prone to for your entire life while bloodwork is a snapshot in time.

• “Snips” (Single-nucleotide polymorphism - SNPs) Explained

DNA is essentially like a recipe book.

DNA turns to RNA turns to proteins. The different proteins in each cell constitute what that cell does or how it behaves. SNPs create different proteins or different biology for certain types of protein.

Knowing what snips you have could help you control for optimal health.

• Changes in the DNA environment you can do for Autism

Genes that make methyl B12 and methyl folate are one of the most drastically influential for people with autism.

• SNPs for Tylenol: Don't drink alcohol and take Tylenol.

Tylenol trashes your liver and depletes glutathione. Oxidative stress is one of the root causes of all evil in health and tylenol is one of the worst things to aggravate that.

• SNPs for Diet and Sleep

- SNPs that modify the signaling that we're full. The signal gets delayed and so people with this tend to overeat and should watch their portions.

- SNPs for fat transport: People with this drop weight immediately when they drop dairy.

Finding out about your SNPs for diet is not just about you losing weight but about finding the optimal diet for YOU. When you're on an optimal diet, you can optimize your chemistry.

• MaxGen Swab DNA Testing is a simple cheek swab testing with a ten-day turnaround time, one of the fastest now.

• What to do with your results

Most functional medicine practitioners likely know what to do with it. It's a lot of information but take the time to read it and look up some things

Each SNP comes with an actionable thing that you can do.

Dr. Chad Yarbrough’s Best Medicine: Sleep

Show Notes

The changing landscape in BioHacking: We don’t get enough results from bad advice, not because we're not doing enough. Biofeedback is a major part of biohacking.

What's hot from the 8th Biohacking Conference

It's not just the knowledge but also who's delivering it. Because it's a community.

At the Conference, you get to experience the technologies.

Doctor V x BioHacking Conference: Science of biohacking + art of living = How you live your life changes your genetic expression. The art of living a beautiful life upgrades your biology and activates the biology of longevity.

Epigenetics is built into the definition of Biohacking.

Biohacking is not just technology. It's actually changing the environment to change biological expression.

Being lit up is good for you and your genes. Being playful and having humor are anti-aging.

What biohacking is building: It's our natural state to have more than enough.

Being enough is a sign of fear. So quit wanting to be enough, because you're way more than enough.

Shownotes

08:56 - 11:41 Vibration and Frequency

You have to be available for it. You don't manifest what you want but what you are - what you are able to sustain vibrationally.

Be mindful of your thoughts. People are addicted to suffering because it produces so much cortisol. Negative thoughts will keep on coming. But we are all meant to be infinite.

To operate on the frequency you want, you have to open up the doors to continuously receive. It comes down to awareness and being open and available for all.

11:47 - 12:43 Breaking the Default Mode Network

DMN helps you survive but it will keep you on the safe side, impeding creation.

Awareness is key. 

12:54 - 14:23 Habits to Operate in Higher Vibration and Frequency

Learn when and how to say: I'm sorry, I'm not available for that negative thought.

Don't spend time with people who are not on the same frequency anymore. Have conversations with people who have the vibe you want to have.

Spend your time thinking about the things that light you up. Accept the fact that this is what it is but think how you can get ahead of it.

You attract what you are being. You light up by being present.

18:40 - 19:43 Life happens for you and not to you.

You don't have to wait for a trauma to wake up and change things.

Struggle is the sandpaper for our awakening. Every struggle that comes to our life is a gift from the universe.

Shownotes

10:36 EARTH: Grounding and Earthing with PMF

When you walk barefoot, you charge your body.

When you don't have time or safe space to do it 30-40 minutes a day, you use PEMF to charge your blood and fertilize your organ systems. It promotes the absorption of whatever supplementation you're giving your body.

21:26 WIND: Exercise with Oxygen Therapy (EWOT)

We are not getting enough oxygen these days. The diameter of narrowed microvessels are restored with hyperbaric oxygen. Reinforcing the amount of oxygen in the body will keep the microvessels healthy and the bad guys inside the body don't like oxygen.

26:40 LIGHT: Photobiomodulation (PBM)

You are more like a plant than you ever thought. Our bodies need light just like plants do. We have chromophores meant to absorb light. There's different light wavelengths that penetrates the cells differently.

Every one of your eleven organ systems needs the same thing. 

36:51 The Superhuman Protocol: Earth-Wind-Light Order

The order should start with opening up cell space to open up more oxygen transport doors, flooding with oxygen and then light. It's about putting the Earth's order correctly to restore order in the body.

Jason's Best Medicine: My Wife.

Show Notes

04:08 - 08:33 Journey to discovering Martial Arts

The beauty of chaos is the peace you see in its midst. In chaos, I saw the most peaceful moment of my life—no masks, limitations, ego. You are free. All of the old ways of thinking are somehow turned off and you become truly present. When choosing between fight or flight, remember that having courage is a choice inside of fear, not the absence of fear.

09:41- 10:56 Finding the authentic self and finding who we're not

The authentic self is the unbiased noticing observer that you are. The martial arts path teaches that the enemy was never outside, it's that voice within. We are a collection of our wounds from rejection, betrayal, and abandonment, which makes us seek security, control and approval. That constant seeking is the enemy.

11:09- 17:41 Quieting the chatter and getting into flow

We try to trigger to get into flow. But flow is natural. We just have to figure out what can stop us from falling out of it. The trying itself creates expectations and tensions that actually impede it.

Flow is always present. Flow is being. Flow is really us, devoid of these other things. But we stop being in the flow because of our attachments to victory and defeat, to people, places and things, and to security, control and approval.

The thoughts will keep coming. But we have to be aware of who is thinking.

17:45 -  19:58 Five by Five by Five Challenge: Simple practice you can do to rid the things that block your flow and change your perspective.

For five days, five times a day for five minutes, you set a time alone. Focus on your breathing and try to achieve stillness of the breath, mind and body. The stillness of the body is when you stop and sit straight. The stillness of breath lies at that moment between the inhale and the exhale while the stillness of the body. The stillness of the mind lies in the breath.

20:01 -  23:13 Deepening your awareness

Practice deepening the awareness of yourself, of others, and the situation. Between the stimulus and our response. And in that space, we choose our response. This is the same foundation for making the choice for building healthy habits.

23:13 - 28:27 Building a conscious operating system

The greatest move of all in martial arts is the time out. It is the ability to pause, breathe, step back, survey the situation without an emotional attachment and see clearly for what it is and then choose a response.

We can build this system and ability: the CQ (conscious quotient).

28:37 - 33:27 The Stillness Method

We have to stop reacting in the tensions created from our reactions by training to cultivate three stillnesses:

1. Stillness in stillness: in a seated posture, not moving
2. Stillness in movement: start to move and maintain the stillness
3. Stillness in movement in chaos: peace in the chaos

33:34 - 35:32 There's no hack to tap into consciousness.

The secret is in the ways in training—in transformation. You have to go do the work to do it, that's why it's priceless. Especially for men, practice listening. 

35:44 - 40:20 Discipline Over Doubt

It's NOT a discipline problem; it's a self-worth and self-love problem.

The primary response system should be self-love and discipline is the emergency response system. That way, it is more sustainable.

41:10 -  Free yourself from you

We thought that getting our power back is by exerting power over others and being able to control it. But the truth is, conquering yourself is what makes you fearless.

Death frees you and allows you to live from moment to moment and to become passionate and kind. And that takes strength.

Shownotes

• We’ve lived longer than our ancestors but life expectancy has been dropping recently. 1 in 2 Americans has a chronic disease. 

• When we look at the Blue Zones, where people lived longest, they don't have these technologies or biohacking tools. Looking at them makes us see that we're actually forgetting what it is like to LIVE as a human.

• Living an authentic life is medicine. Following who you are actually tells your own genes that you're living your fullest life and to give you longevity, optimal health and peak performance.

• Getting to the Thrive State: Nurturing your bioenergetic environment. Pick the easiest thing to do and apply that. It's all connected and it's going to build you the needed energetic momentum to get to the Thrive State.

• Casting the net wider: Use the media to spread the message. 

• Life is very precious. How we handle our bodies, minds and psyche as we move through it is really important.

• The pandemic is scary but it is also a gift. It forced a lot of people to slow down a bit and pushed them to focus on how they feel inside and master their minds as part of reclaiming their health.

Shownotes

• How do you find alignment: you may have a job right now but how do you really find what’s aligned for you. Find what resonates with you and find a company that does things close to that.
• People that lives with a sense of purpose tend to live longer—it preserves your telomeres, you heal faster, you get less disease.
• Finding your Alignment and Purpose: Go back to your childhood and ask yourself:

What are the things you enjoy?

What excites you?

• Remember the things that bring you joy and light you up and marry them with the things that also serve other people. It is not so much of a discovering process  but a remembering process.
• Having a morning routine is the most important thing in the world. We have so much going on in our heads and in the outside world. What you do in the morning sets the tone for the whole day. Meditation (breathing, gratitude), journaling, exercise.
• Dr. V’s morning routine: Hydrate with 16oz of water with some Himalayan sea salt and lemon, write journal about intention and taks, meditate (breathing exercise), listen to a podcast and workout.
• Cultivating self-love: Write 3 things you love about yourself. Start building self-love out of everything. Learn to love yourself no matter what.
• Write the things you’re proud of. Write the things that you love about yourself. Write memories that make you proud.
• Celebrate the small wins. Don’t wait for the big ones. Start recognizing them now consistently.
• Wasim’s best medicine: Feeding the soul.

Your dream job—It sounds easy-peasy, stress-free, and full of energy, excitement and motivation. But landing your dream job ain’t that easy.

Shownotes

Biggest Health Challenge for American Men: Learning How to Take Care of Themselves

Toxic masculinity can literally get you killed. Erection is a function of circulation. And problems with erection can light a bulb to warn you of potential circulation dysfunction.

Ways to reduce risks of premature death from cardiovascular disease: Don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't eat too much, exercise, get good sleep, stretch, meditate, and be good to other people. We know these, but we don't do them. The KEY is do the things we already know we need to do.

Body Composition Scan compels guys to do something—they respond to numbers and get convinced that something's off in them.

We tend to complicate things. Not all people are simple but the basic thing is calories in, calories out. High - protein, micronutrients, fiber; Low - carbs; healthy fats.

Why ED is more prominent now: Testosterone levels get lower because of the sedentary lifestyle. Blood flow starts in the heart and the two last places that the blood reaches are the toes and the penis. When blood flow stops going to the penis, it stops working.

Sexual Healing and Medicine

(1) Addressing the signal: Nitric oxide - is the messenger that opens up blood vessels. Nitrates turns into nitrites to help blood vessels. As you get older, you produce less nitric oxide. So you have to boost these in your body.

(2) Declogging the wipes: Using an intense wave of energy that doesn't cause tissue damage but tricks the body into thinking that it does to generate stem cell production. PRP—isolating platelets and WBC from the rest of the blood and reinjecting them into the penis—with shockwave therapy promotes stem cell production.

Finding the right help: Going to the doctor is a partnership. Help your doctor by writing down your medical history and why you're visiting the doctor. Make a list of questions and hand it to your doctor at the beginning to get the most out of your doctor's appointment.