ThriveologyPodcast – Thriveology

Midlife Transition Series

Yep, MY midlife.  Because I find myself at midlife (maybe, even probably, beyond “midpoint,” but in the midst of midlife).

I thought that since I have been discussing midlife transitions and crises, I needed to be open about my own midlife issues and transitions.  While not a crisis, it is definitely a transition.

Let me be clear that I don’t believe I should in any way be a model of how to do this (or how NOT to do this).  But I do think it may be helpful to hear from someone else who is going through this.

It turns out that many people think what they are feeling is unique to them — and that is just NOT so.  Midlife is a transition.  And it CAN become a crisis.

Here’s how it has been for me. . .

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES

Midlife Transition Series

“I think I might be depressed,” he told me.  I wasn’t convinced.

When Brian was talking, it seemed he was searching more than he was lost.

Depression, unhappiness, and a midlife crisis can look very similar.

But they are very different.  And the way through each is different.

Brian felt depressed.  But in reality, he was trying to figure it all out.  He was in a crisis.  He didn’t need to be treated for depression.  He needed to get through his midlife crisis.

Sometimes, people hit midlife, and it IS depression.  If you (or someone you know) is at midlife and not sure if it is a midlife crisis, depression, or just unhappiness, let’s talk about the differences.  Each has a different path.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES

Mid Life Transformation Series

Not every mid-lifer manages a crisis.  Many make a healthy transition to the new stage of life and development.

The difference?

There are several factors that come into play.  Central is a misunderstanding about what is happening.

Many people refuse to admit some change is happening.  They hold onto old models that no longer work.  They cling to old habits that no longer help.

When people come into my office and tell me they think they are having a midlife crisis, I congratulate them and ask, “What took you so long?”  The longer their delay, the deeper the crisis.

Let’s talk about some strategies of dealing with a midlife crisis in a healthy way.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES

Mid Life Transformation Series

Most people slide right into midlife, out of breath from exertion.  Up until then, it is all about achieve.  What can I do, build, and achieve?  Then, something shifts.  It is about believe.  What do I believe?  What’s important?  What will I leave as my legacy?

And that is the heart of a midlife crisis.  Meaning becomes a dominant theme, often covered up by the fumblings of someone not used to that question.

Many people at midlife feel a yearning, but they can’t quite identify what they are yearning for.  That yearning is the deeper call of meaning.

I cover the Heart of  a Midlife Crisis in this week’s podcast.

MID LIFE TRANSFORMATION SERIES

Mid Life Transformation Series

This week, we turn our attention to mid-life.  Maybe because that is where I am!

Many clients come to me in the midst of a midlife crisis.  But that term carries so much baggage that many people are even embarrassed to consider the fact that it might just be. . . a. . . mid-life crisis brewing!

Too bad.  In reality, mid life is all about transformation.  New opportunities abound.  Possible growth and change is on the horizon.  Deeper meaning.  Greater purpose.  Huge impact.  All the possibilities of a midlife transformation.

In the last couple of years, headlines blared, “Mid Life Crisis Is A Myth.”  But they missed the point of a midlife crisis.  The scale used in research was “happiness.”  Wrong scale.  The right scale is about meaning.  Besides, nobody has figured out how to define or measure happiness with any clarity.

Instead of focusing on the “myth of the midlife crisis,” this week, I turn my attention to 4 myths about midlife crises.

Care to join me?  Listen below:

Every year, my everyone in my family chooses a word to live into for the coming year.  This replaced my New Year’s Resolutions almost a decade ago.  After I started this podcast, I have shared my word with you.

2016 was my year of Appreciation.  I wrote letters to a number of people, letting them know how much I appreciated them in my life.  I took a number of people out to lunch and did the same thing.

One person has since died.  I treasure the fact that I had the chance of sharing my deep appreciation for him with him.  So, yes, my word is important to me.

I put my word at the top of the calendar.  So, when I open my schedule for the day, there it is, first thing in the morning.  I am intentional about choosing it.  And I am intentional in honoring that word throughout the year.

This year, my word is LEAN.  It has a dual meaning for me.  In this week’s Podcast, I share why I chose that word and why it is important to me (and I give you a rundown of all my other words in past years).

What’s YOUR word?

RELATED LINKS:

How to Beat Stress

How many times do you hear someone say, “I’m so stressed!”  Or how many times do YOU think and feel that?

We live in a culture that seems to revel in being stressed.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes a badge of honor — the cost of being in demand and doing important stuff.

But is it?

How do you not just “deal” with stress, but beat stress?  Well, first, we need to be clear about what stress REALLY is (and what it isn’t).  Then, we can talk about strategies for addressing the REAL issue.

When you are “stressed,” there isn’t a solution.   When you know what it is, the solution(s) are easier.

Let’s talk about defeating stress with 6 strategies in the training below.

How do you build a thriving year?  By having thriving days.

How do you have thriving days?  By focusing on how you start your day and end your day.  What happens in the middle tends to take care of itself — IF you start strong and end strong.

Do you have a morning plan or ritual? How about an evening plan or ritual?  Are you still looking for a way to start and end each day?

I’m not sure my plan is perfect.  And I don’t follow it perfectly.  But it is working for me.  I do my best to follow it.  My intention is to do better this year.  My plan is to continually improve my plan.

Listen and tell me what you think.  Let me know what YOU do in the comments below.

(Here is an earlier podcast on mornings and an earlier podcast on evenings.)

“You can’t take my joy!”  What a great line.  And it fits so many times.  You are having a great day — and then that one person, that difficult person. . . .  They try to rob your joy!

So, how DO you deal with difficult people?  Because they are all around.  At work, in your community. . . maybe even in your own family!

You can’t escape them.  You need a plan on how to deal with them.

Let me tell you my 6 steps for dealing with difficult people.

And if you need to upgrade your boundaries, CLICK HERE for free training.  If you need to upgrade your personal standards, CLICK HERE for free training.

(Listen to How To Deal With Difficult People training below.)

In the midst of my own serious illness years ago, I had friends who were more than willing to share with me the many ways I might die from my illness.  They seemed to have missed the fact that I had the same information.

But they also missed the fact that I refused to play through every potential scenario.  Not because I was in denial, but because it did not benefit me to focus on it.

In reflection, I used three specific phrases to stay focused on my life (and not my potential demise).

And in fact, these same thoughts and reflections are strong sources of me thriving to this day.

Let me tell you about the thoughts I held and continue to hold when dealing with life circumstances.

Are there other thoughts YOU use?  Share in the comments below.