ThriveologyPodcast – Thriveology

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Other than a few people who were being self-critical and a bit harsh with themselves, I have yet to have someone say, “You know, I am just not trying.  I am kinda sliding by, not really doing what I think I should.”

Almost everyone (other than those few who were really just sharing their personal self-criticism) tells me how they are doing the best they can. . . and not getting where they want to get to.

Over the years, I have decided that people really do the best they can, given where they are.  That is a life precept for me — my way of viewing people.  Admittedly, I have times when I have to remind myself of this little belief.  Not because I stopped believing, but because I lost my empathy.  Then I step back, see it again, and reaffirm that people do the best they can.

To be clear, that does not mean that we are all operating at optimal functioning.  Far from it.  “Where we are” is what keeps us from operating at a better place.  It is just my belief that people are truly doing the best they (we) can, given where they (we) are.

Care to hear more?  Listen to my podcast below (and just below are links to the rest of the Immutable Laws of Living Series).

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

There is one constant in life:  Change.  It doesn’t matter if you hate change (most people) or love change (a few people — but usually, only when the change is going their way!).  The change happens.

Watch the seasons of the year go by.  Summer just blew through.  Fall is, inescapably (at least north of the equator) coming in.  Watch your kids.  Like it or not, they keep right on marching toward adulthood.  And (painfully, I might add), watch as your body continues to age — no matter what you do to stop it.  It just keeps on coming.

Change.

It is inevitable.

So, do we ignore it?  Do we hate it?  Or do we accept it and learn to grow with it?

Listen below for my (thriving) opinion.

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

You’ve probably heard the story about the group of blind men describing an elephant, all touching a different part of the elephant.  Not surprisingly, they all have a different view of what an elephant is. . . because they have a limited perspective.

We ALL have a limited perspective.  We ALL only partly see reality — then promptly pretend/believe we see reality clearly.  We don’t.  None of us.

Which may be part of the issue with our world today.  Politics, science, religion, education, diet, social issues. . . we tend to each believe our own view is the correct one.  So, there is an inadvertent amount of energy spent trying to fix the “other person’s” viewpoint. . . forgetting the limits we all have on perspective.

In our higher moments, we can easily see that we only see partially.  In calm times, we understand that we all have limitations, imperfect views and attitudes.  But when we fill challenged or stressed, we forget, and we start to believe we see things as they ARE.

Which is, perhaps, why we struggle to get along.

And this is when we violate the Immutable Law of Living:  Every Perspective Is Limited.  Listen to this week’s podcast below.

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws Of Living Series

Pretty much all day, you are thinking.  That is built into our design.  We think, ponder, consider, worry over, dream about, and pretty much run everything through our thoughts.

That isn’t really a problem.  Except when we forget we are thinking.

When we forget we are thinking, we confuse those thoughts with reality.  And we start responding to reality from the basis of our thoughts — which are always at least a little faulty.

When we forget we are thinking, we assume that what pops in our head is reality and must be pondered.  So, we think and think, stirring thoughts into anxiety.  Then, we assume that, too, is true.

You can’t stop the thinking.  You can recognize a thought is a thought.

Listen below and let me know what you think!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

OK, before you kick me to the curb and tell me you want to be happy, hear me out.  I don’t want you to be miserable.  But I also don’t think life is simply about being happy.

In fact, that assumption is often what leads people to some pretty bad places of addiction, consumption, debt, unhealthy behavior — and unhappiness.

So many times, people have said to me that they are guaranteed happiness in the Declaration of Independence.  I first remind them that they are given the “unalienable right” to the “pursuit of happiness.”  Not to be happy.

Second, I point out that our founding fathers did not have the same idea of “happy” that we seem to find in popular culture.  Their idea was a bit deeper — and tightly tied to the Greek idea of Eudaemonia, a term that was about living a life of virtue a “Good Life.”

Let me say again, I do not think life is about being unhappy or miserable.  But I tend to think the more we chase happiness, the more it eludes us.  Because life isn’t really about happiness.

Listen below and let me know what you think!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Law of Living Series

Last week, I discussed the fact that life isn’t fair.  That is the first immutable law of living.  Because when you struggle against it, trying to make life fair, you lose.  When you accept life isn’t fair, you shift.  Life isn’t about fairness.

In fact, one of the reasons we believe life isn’t fair is because tough things happen in life.  Challenges and tragedies strike.  We believe these are anomalies, things that shouldn’t happen.  So we start struggling against those challenges.

Which leads us to the second Immutable Law of Living:  Life Has Challenges.  No way around it.  Challenges come our way.

We have no choice about the challenges.  We do have a choice on what we do when the challenge comes our way.  We can protest that “this shouldn’t be happening,” even continuing that “this isn’t fair.”  And yet, those things still come our way.

How do we respond, then, to the challenges that come our way?

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living

If you follow my marriage podcast, you know I am in the midst of a series on the “Immutable Laws of Marriage.”  These “laws” are violated at the expense of the relationship.  There are also Immutable Laws of Living.  And this week, we start looking at those laws.

No, you won’t be in legal trouble if you violate these laws.  You will be in thriving trouble, though.  These are laws that help us to thrive, if we abide by them.  And these laws hold us back, if we push against them.

The first “law” is also a cry I hear from many people, “Life isn’t fair!”  Indeed, it is not.  And that is not the point of life.  Life is not about “fair” or “unfair.”  People cry out about the unfairness of life, hoping that will change things, shift things to be fair.  That shift doesn’t happen.

But instead of shifting views, people continue to proclaim and protest, “Life Isn’t Fair.”

They are correct, and that is OK.  Here’s how to abide by this law.

Your Thriving Body Series

There is one reason I shared the Thriving Body Series:  so you can build a thriving body.  I have noticed that we live in a culture of body-shaming or body-ignoring.  We live in a world focused on “what you look like,” compared to some ideal created by media.  So, many people feel inadequate — leading to giving up or dysfunctional lifestyles.

Others simply pretend they don’t inhabit a body.  That is no better.  People act as if their physical body doesn’t count, ignoring the fact that their body is what takes them through life in this world.

What if the focus was on being healthy and well?  As well as possible, and healthy as possible, given the limits of each person’s own body.  Might that be a better “third way?”

During this series, I tried to focus on some big rubrics of a thriving body:  eating to nourish that body, exercising to build that body, resting to recharge that body, de-stressing to reduce the wear-and-tear on the body.

Now, we wrap the series up.  Let’s put it together and build a thriving body, so you can have a thriving life!

Your Thriving Body Series:

Your Thriving Body Series

“I’m so stressed out,” has become a very common refrain.  But what does that mean?  Have you paused for a moment to wonder, what is behind that idea?

We all have moments of feeling a bit overwhelmed and frazzled.  We all have times when we react to some event.  Our body comes along for the ride.  Adrenaline spikes, headaches strike, stomachs get upset, palms get sweaty. . . our body goes into Fight/Flight mode.  Not a pretty picture, and not very fun.

We all have our coping strategies.  Some are helpful and healthy, others — not so much.  Some people crawl under the covers and hide from those events.  Others rely on a few choice substances to forget those events or at least numb the body.

But some have found other, healthier, ways to face the events, understand their response, and move through the responses.  They experience the same event but learn to move through healthily and helpfully.

Let’s talk about the truth of stress — and how to deal with stress effectively , but healthily.

Your Thriving Body Series:

Your Thriving Body Series

Do you get the rest you (and your body) need?  Most people don’t.

Research on sleep reveals that almost 50% of people say they do not get enough sleep.

And your body takes a toll for this.  Slower healing, chronic disease, fuzzy thinking, physical decline, and even weight gain, all have been tied to a lack of adequate sleep.

Here is the painful truth:  if you are skipping on sleep, you are most likely just borrowing that time from the end of your life.  The more chronic your sleeplessness, the higher your chances of suffering from sleep-related health issues.

So, let’s talk about why you need sleep and how to get it.  And how to better quality sleep, the you do sleep.

Listen below to hear about how to rest your thriving body (and you can catch up on the Thriving Body Series in the links below).

Your Thriving Body Series: