ThriveologyPodcast – Thriveology

You DON'T Have A Choice In What Life Sends Your Way. . .

If there is one thing clearly evident:  we do not have a choice in what life sends our way.  Sometimes, things happen.  Good things, bad things, in-between things.  “Stuff” happens.

Sometimes, we have zero control over what happens.  Sometimes, we have some influence on what happens.  Sometimes, we have control.  But what about the things that just happen?

We have no choice about that.

But we do have a choice in how we live it out.

After the initial shock of adjusting to something, we get to choose how we move forward.  We can choose how we respond, who we choose to be, and what it teaches.

Listen for more details on how to choose your living when “stuff” happens.

(Learn more about Responsibility HERE.)

Immutable Laws of Life Series

When I look around, it seems that everything has a design, a purpose.  Trees have a design of making leaves and fruit.  When the design fails, the tree fails and dies.

I believe humans have a design built in.  We are designed for making an impact.  The impact can be helpful or harmful.  We can look around and see plenty of harmful impacts humans have made.  And we can also look around for helpful and positive impacts.

Then there are people who don’t seem to be making any impact.

But what if we decide to make a positive impact?  We discover our purpose.  We discover meaning.

While we are designed for impact, it is up to each of us to discover our own unique point of impact — and make that impact!

Let’s talk about your “impact design” and why you need to make that impact.

(This is the final episode of the Immutable Laws of Living Series.  The rest of the series is linked below.)

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Have you ever wondered whether your brain controlled your mind or your mind controlled your brain?  Here is the answer:

YES.

Your brain certainly affects your thinking. But your thinking affects your brain. . . and you can CHOOSE where your thoughts dwell.

Brain chemistry is much more complicated.  And we know very little about how that chemistry works, anyway.

What we DO know about the brain is there are three layers.  The most primitive and deepest part of your brain scans the environment for threats — locking you into a fight/flight mode when it is activated.  The next layer is all about emotions.  And the top layer is about thoughts and reason.  We like that part.  But we often forget about the other layers.  Those other layers can keep us stuck, though.

Let’s talk about your brain and your mind.  Let’s discuss how to shift to Love/Appreciation — or you default to Fear/Threat.

Where do you want to spend your time?

(If you missed the earlier parts of the Immutable Laws Of Living Series, the links are below.)

Immutable Laws of Living Series

How do you spend your time?  What an interesting phrase.  You are, whether you realize it or not, spending a commodity.  In fact, the most valuable commodity.  Because you can’t get it back.  You spend an hour on something.  That hour is gone.  Spend some money on an outfit, and you can make more money.  But you can’t make more time.

Do you treat your time as a precious commodity?  Or do you find it leaking away?

As a Chaplain, I spent years talking with people at the end of their lives.  Their regrets seemed never about having not spent more time at work.  Really, there regret was most often about not treasuring the time.  Perhaps they wished they had traveled more or spent more time with family or contributed more time to help the world.  Some wished they had laughed more and enjoyed life more.  But the biggest regret was simply not treasuring their time.

Time is the most precious commodity.  Let’s talk about why that is and what to do about it in this week’s free audio podcast.

(and if you’ve missed other podcasts in this series, here are the links:)

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Do you ever find yourself “lost in thought?”  I am willing to bet your thoughts are pulling to the past, the future, or an alternate past.  In other words, you are thinking about what happened (or you wish had happened) or about what might happen.

But life is flying by right NOW.  And being lost to the past/future of your mind.

We humans are blessed and cursed.  We are blessed with the capacity of imagining and remembering.  We file memories away through language.  If I said, “What did you do last Saturday?”, you would search your memory database by wondering, “What DID I do last Saturday?”  Then, you would recall the party or event you attended.  As far as I can tell, my dog doesn’t recall much when I ask about our walk yesterday.  Language.

You can also imagine what could be through imagination.  I could ask, “What do you want to do next summer?”  Off your mind would go, imagining what next summer might hold.  Asking my dog about his thoughts for next summer is likely not creating much of a mental thought process for him.

But that curse. . . .

You can also think back on that bad encounter last week with your friend or spouse.  You can worry about what next week might hold at work.  You can remember those hurts and pains from childhood.  You can worriedly think about your finances in retirement.

Same process.

And whether reflecting on good events or bad, imagining good things or bad, we can all lose track of this moment, this NOW.  We humans have the unique ability (and dis-ability) of mentally living in times other than NOW.

As I discuss in this week’s free audio podcast, Life is the NOW.

(and if you’ve missed other podcasts in this series, here are the links:)

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Here’s a concept that trips up many people:  Forgiveness.

Oh, sure, you know you should forgive.  But you just don’t know if that is the best idea.  Maybe you believe you just can’t forget what happened (myth:  “forgive and forget”).  Or maybe you don’t think that person deserves to be “let off the hook” (also a myth).  Or perhaps you don’t want to have anything to do with that person (forgiving and connecting are 2 different things).

In this week’s podcast, I discuss the myths of forgiveness — and how important it is to practice forgiving.  And if you need a process to follow on how to forgive, check out this earlier podcast or you can check out this one.

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Control.  We all want it.  We all try to have it.

And yet, we usually try to control things we cannot control (like, say, other people).  At the same time, we often fail to control the things we can (like, say, ourselves!).

Which tends to pretty much keep us spinning around.  Frustration and desperation come on the heels of feeling out of control.

One important issue:  we have to discern between those two things:  what we can control and what we can’t.  THEN we can commit to controlling what we can, AND releasing the rest.

In this week’s podcast, we discuss controlling the things we can control (I’ll name them) and releasing the things we can’t (I’ll name those, too).  Take a listen!

(And if you have missed out on earlier episodes from the ILL series, the links are below.)

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Law of Living Series

Ever notice how much time and energy we spend (waste) struggling with “what is?”

We want things to be different than they are.  We want things to have happened differently than they did.

Yet here we are, and those things DID happen.

And we still spend time and energy thinking about how things “should” be different, trying to somehow “make” them different.  All to no avail.

We are better served coming to terms with “What Is,” and then choosing how to move forward.

Do you find yourself struggling with What Is?  Do you find yourself struggling to accept where you are and what has happened?

Let’s talk about how to stop wasting that time and energy.  What Is IS what is. . .

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Laws of Living Series

100%

All you.

Your life is 100% your responsibility.  (Notice I did NOT say 100% your fault.  HUGE difference between fault and responsibility.)

Your life and how it goes is YOUR responsibility.  That would be your “Ability to Respond.”  You get a choice in that.

Many times, we like to pretend we don’t have choices, we are pushed by forces beyond us.  And yes, things do happen.  We then have a choice on what we do.  That is the responsibility piece.it isn’t o

Let me explain further in this week’s podcast episode.  Hit the “play” button below!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:

Immutable Law Of Living Series

Fear is wired into our brain.  And there isn’t any way to unwire it!

Which is probably for the best.  Sometimes, fear keeps you from doing something foolish.  It helps to keep you alive.

But it can also keep you stuck.

In many coaching sessions, I ask, “Why didn’t you do that very important thing you know you need to do in order to have a better life, a thriving life?” (OK, I usually condense that to asking why they didn’t do X, whatever X was.)

And the #1 most common response?

“Because I was afraid!”

Fear does not serve us well when it holds us back.

(Here’s a little secret:  we ALL have fears.  What you do about them determines whether you are thriving or stuck.  Your choice.  Listen below for some help.)

Oh, and here are the links to the other episodes in the Immutable Laws of Living Series:

Immutable Laws Of Living Series: