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The Leaker: When Anger Comes Out Sideways

Not all anger explodes.
 Some of it slips out quietly—through sarcasm, passive-aggression, or constant nitpicking.

In this episode, we’re exploring The Leaker—a subtle but powerful anger pattern where feelings aren’t expressed directly, so they leak out sideways instead. This often develops in women who were taught that being openly angry wasn’t safe, polite, or acceptable—and who learned to protect themselves by staying indirect.

If you’ve ever heard yourself say something sharp and thought, That came out harsher than I meant, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore:

• What Leaker anger really is—and why it hides behind sarcasm and “small” comments
• Common signs like silent treatment, backhanded compliments, guilt-inducing remarks, and nitpicking that misses the real issue
• The emotional and physical cost of leaking anger, including resentment, stress, jaw tension, and digestive discomfort
• A powerful reflection question: Do I focus on little things because I’m afraid to speak about the big ones?

Five ways to work with Leaker anger:

1. Spot the leak — notice sarcasm, snark, or nitpicking as it’s happening
2. Pause and ask why — identify the real feeling underneath: hurt, disappointment, feeling unseen
3. State needs directly — use clear “I” statements instead of vague or cutting remarks
4. Practice emotional honesty — replace indirect comments with truthful ones, even when it feels vulnerable
5. Repair in the moment — name it and reset: “That came out snarky. What I meant was…”

Support makes change easier:

Leaker patterns are learned—and they can be unlearned. We talk about how therapy or coaching, communication tools, accountability partners, and mindfulness practices can help interrupt old habits before they slip out sideways.

Hope & healing:

If you’re a Leaker, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.
 It means you learned creative ways to protect yourself when direct expression didn’t feel safe.

Each honest sentence weakens the habit of leaking.
 And every direct conversation builds confidence.

Your voice matters—and speaking clearly isn’t rude, dangerous, or wrong. It’s freeing.

Resources mentioned:

• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott
• Journaling prompt: What do I really want instead of what I’m criticizing?
• Mind–body practices like meditation, yoga, walking, and breathwork

Closing thought:

When anger leaks out, it creates distance.
 When it’s expressed honestly, it creates connection.

Reflection for the week:
Can you turn one sarcastic or nitpicky moment into an honest statement?

👉 For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

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The Volcano: When Anger Erupts

Some anger stays quiet.
 Some turns inward.
 And some of it builds pressure until it explodes.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about The Volcano—a pattern of anger that simmers beneath the surface until it erupts in sudden, intense, and often uncharacteristic bursts. If you’ve ever felt “fine” one moment and completely overwhelmed the next, you’re not alone.

This type of anger is especially common for women in midlife who were taught—explicitly or implicitly—to suppress frustration, avoid conflict, and keep the peace. Eventually, that pressure has to go somewhere.

In this episode, we explore:

• What Volcano anger really looks like—and why it can feel so uncontrollable
• Common signs, including overreactions, regret after outbursts, and physical warning signals like a racing heart, clenched jaw, or tight chest
• A key reflection question: Do my reactions feel bigger than the situation? Do I regret what I say afterward?

Five ways to work with Volcano anger:

1. Identify triggers early — keep a simple anger log to notice patterns in people, situations, or times of day
2. Learn pre-eruption cues — your body often signals anger before your mind catches up
3. Create a pause practice — step away, breathe, count, or take a short walk before responding
4. Channel the energy — movement, journaling, or creative outlets help release intensity safely
5. Communicate assertively — replace explosions with calm, direct language like: “I feel frustrated when…”

Support makes a difference:

Volcano anger doesn’t heal in isolation. We talk about how therapy, coaching, stress or anger support groups, medical check-ins (hormones, sleep, thyroid), and trusted relationships can provide accountability and safe outlets. The goal isn’t to eliminate anger—it’s to direct it before it detonates.

Hope & healing:

Noticing a trigger before you explode is progress. Pausing once when you didn’t before is progress.

You’re not broken.
 Your anger is energy looking for direction.

When you learn to release it safely, anger shifts from destruction to fuel—and becomes a compass pointing toward unmet needs and necessary change.

Resources mentioned:

• The Dance of Anger
• Emotional Agility
• Mind–body tools like progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, and mindfulness practices
• Journaling prompt: What did I need before I exploded—and how could I express that sooner next time?

Closing thought:

Volcano anger doesn’t define you.
 It usually means you’ve been holding too much inside for too long.

The more you release in safe, honest ways, the less power the eruption has.

Reflection for the week:
Can you try one pause—just one—before reacting?

👉 For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

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The Stewer: When Anger Turns Inward

Some anger explodes.
 Some leaks out sideways.
 And some of it quietly simmers beneath the surface.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about the Stewer, the woman who turns her anger inward, letting it build until it shows up as stress, headaches, sleepless nights, chronic tension, or even depression.

This pattern is incredibly common for women in midlife, especially those who were taught to be agreeable, self-sacrificing, and “not angry.” If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to keep the peace—and paid for it later—this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it really means to be a Stewer, and why this kind of anger is often invisible to others but exhausting on the inside
• Common signs of inward anger, including self-blame, rumination, physical pain, insomnia, and loss of joy
• A powerful reflection question: When was the last time I swallowed my anger instead of speaking it?

Five ways to work with inward anger:

1. Name it without judgment: “I feel angry because…”
2. Listen to your body: tension, fatigue, and pain are often emotional signals
3. Create safe release: journaling, breathwork, movement, or physical discharge
4. Practice small expressions: saying no, sharing a frustration, setting one boundary
5. Reframe anger as wisdom: ask: What is this anger protecting or pointing me toward?

Support matters:

Healing inward anger doesn’t happen in isolation. We talk about the role of therapy, coaching, support groups, trusted relationships, and even medical professionals when anger shows up physically. Being witnessed breaks the silence and the shame.

Closing thought:

The anger you’ve been carrying isn’t here to destroy you.
 It’s here to guide you toward change.

If you recognize yourself as a Stewer, know this: you’re not broken, you’re listening, just inward instead of outward. And there are safe, healthy ways to let that anger move before it burns you from the inside.

Resources mentioned:

• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
• Mind-body practices like meditation and gentle yoga (Balance, Calm, Headspace)
• Journaling prompt: What am I holding onto that I need to release?

For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

Reflection for the week:
Where can you express one small truth instead of swallowing it?

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Anger Is NOT the Problem, It’s the Message

You may want to grab a journal for this one.

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions for women—especially in midlife. It’s often dismissed, minimized, or labeled. But what if anger isn’t a flaw to fix… what if it’s a signal worth listening to?

In this episode, I explore anger as wisdom and energy, not something to suppress or be ashamed of. I share my own experience—how subtle anger showed up during my marriage, how depression quietly turned into bitterness, and how unfulfilled expectations hardened into something I didn’t recognize in myself. I’ve always seen myself as a happy person, so the depth of heartbreak and anger surprised me—and eventually forced me to look inward instead of blaming outward.

What changed everything was realizing there are different types of anger. Once I could see where mine lived and how it expressed itself, I could finally begin working with it instead of against it. My hope is that these reflections help you recognize your own patterns—or help you understand someone you love.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why women’s anger is valid—and why stereotypes only make it harder to express
• The four common ways anger shows up: the Stewer, the Volcano, the Leaker, and the Constructive Expresser
• Seven root causes of anger in midlife, from hormonal shifts and grief to injustice and loss of identity
• How anger evolves with age—and why “better control” doesn’t always mean healthier outcomes
• Five practical steps to work with anger through awareness, safe expression, boundaries, and connection

Key takeaway:
Anger is not weakness. It’s information. And at this stage of life, it can become the map back to your voice and your power, if you’re willing to listen.

Reflection question:
When anger shows up this week, will you push it down… or get curious about what it’s trying to tell you?

For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

Research referenced:
Women’s Midlife Health Journal
https://womensmidlifehealthjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40695-016-0019-x

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You are not manifesting alone. Your thoughts, energy, and intentions are connected to a greater whole—the people around you, the energy of the universe, and the field of possibility that exists beyond the self.

This series is inspired by The Source by Dr. Tara Swart. 

“Everything is connected—from your neurons to the people you meet to the unseen currents of energy moving through this world.” 

Let’s get to some of the science behind this interconnectedness. 

Neuroscience of interconnection:

       - Mirror neurons

       - Reticular Activating System (RAS): The more you believe in connection, the             more your brain filters for signs of alignment. 

Energy psychology:
 

• Emotions have a frequency. There is a frequency to Joy and grief. As humans we can feel it. 
• The law of resonance: Like attracts like. 

Brain and body in unity:
 

• Your nervous system regulates—and your manifesting power increases. 
• Finding a way to quiet the nervous system, feel the peace and work towards the actions 

You are not separate:
Your thoughts influence your actions, which influence others. 

• The universe is responsive—not random. 
• Everything is relationship:
   
  • Your job is to move in alignment with others, not in competition with them. 

Ways connection shows up: 

              -  Synchronicities (aka "signs")   

              - Unexpected help or conversations. 

              - Feeling a strong “pull” toward someone or something. 

Dr. Swart's insight:
“When you make decisions in alignment with your higher self and the greater good, opportunities seem to flow to you more easily.”

4 steps to find a universal connection through your practice. 

• Step 1: Connect with others mindfully
• Step 2: Send out clear energetic signals
• Step 3: Use visualizations of interconnection
• Step 4: Gratitude strengthens the connection

Reflection prompt:
“Where in my life am I trying to manifest in isolation? And what opens up when I remember I’m connected to something greater?”

• Connection Challenge:
   
  • For the next 7 days, do one intentional action each day that honors your connection to others:
     
    • Reach out to someone
    • Express gratitude 
    • Help someone else move closer to their dream

Finally, a closing mantra for you from this manifestation episode . Say to yourself “I am connected to everything I need—and everything I need is connected to me.”

Manifestation isn’t a solo game. You are a thread in a much larger tapestry. Thank you for listening to our series. It has been a lot of fun turning what is sometimes considered a fluffy practice, by me as well, into an actionable thing that helps me continue to grow and change and lead a healthier happier more purpose driven life. Besides, what do you have to lose?

Send any questions you may have to [email protected]. Until next time throw off those line that are holding you tied down. Have a TOTL day and take care. 

https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/

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This is a podcast series inspired by The Source by Dr. Tara Swart. Today, we’re diving into a vital and often overlooked principle: Harmony in manifestation.”

“You can manifest your dreams and still be kind. Still be ethical. Still be in integrity.”

Dr. Swart offers this framework:

• “Neuroscience shows that our success is deeply influenced by our relationships and our alignment with shared human values.”

The ego vs. the aligned self:

• Ego says: “Get what you want no matter what.”
• Alignment says: “Get what you want in a way that’s sustainable, kind, and true.”

Ego vs. Aligned Self — Key Points

The ego operates from fear and scarcity.
 The aligned self operates from truth and trust.

Why harmony matters:

• You can’t attract peace if your actions generate harm.
• Manifestation that comes from greed, competition, or deception is not sustainable—and often collapses under its own weight.

Ego Based Manifestation is often referred to as Shadow 

What It Looks Like:

• Greed
• Competition
• Deception

Why It’s Harmful:

• It often leads to short-term gains but long-term disconnection, burnout, or collapse.
• It feeds insecurity, envy, and scarcity in others.
• It violates trust—with others and with your own deeper self.

Ethical Reframe:

Instead of “How can I get more?”
 Ask: “How can I create more in a way that’s true, generous, and aligned with my values?”

Signs You’re Out of Harmony 

• Red flags:
• Guilt or unease 
• manipulative tactics
•  What this does to your brain and energy:
• Activates your stress response
• Creates subconscious blocks 
• Limits ability to receive 

Reflection prompt:

• “Am I proud of the way I’m going after this desire?”
• “Would I feel good if this was printed on the front page of a newspaper?”

How to Manifest in Harmony 

• Step 1: Choose integrity-based desires
• Step 2: Consider ripple effects
• Step 3: Align your nervous system with peace
• Step 4: Focus on co-creation

Reflection questions:

• “Where can I move with more compassion this week?”
• “What’s one small change I can make to manifest more ethically and peacefully?”

Harmony Challenge:
 This week, pause before every major decision or action and ask: “Is this in harmony with who I truly want to be?”

Closing affirmation:
 “I create my dreams with grace, integrity, and respect for all life.”

•  https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/

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This series is inspired by The Source by Dr. Tara Swart. Today, we’re diving into a critical but often ignored part of manifestation—patience.”

“This is where most people give up—and it’s also where the real transformation is starting.”

“You are always becoming what you believe—but change happens on the timeline of your nervous system, not your calendar.” 

-        Neural pathways are like trails in a forest. Your brain doesn’t instantly accept a new belief or identity—it needs repetition and evidence

-        There is a myth of instant manifestation:

• You can shift your energy quickly. 
• Manifestation is a process of neural reconditioning. 

Why time is necessary?:

• We need to reinforce new habits 
• To replace limiting beliefs 
• To build confidence through small wins 

Let’s look at some Emotional Triggers During the Waiting Period 

-        Doubt, fear, frustration, comparison, impatience.

• “Everyone else seems to be getting what they want. Why not me?”
• Start asking yourself why you are bothered by the process? Journal. 

Next we have to acknowledge the brain's threat response:

• Just keep in mind, waiting activates your inner critic and fear center. Impatience triggers all the negative self speak. 
• Your job: train your prefrontal cortex to stay the course. Get on it.

Three Tools to Build Patience

1. Future Journaling:

• Write daily from the mindset of your future self who has already achieved your desire.

2. Embodied Affirmations:

• Don’t just say it—walk, dance, breathe, move in the energy of the future you. 

3. Progress Tracker:

• Record small wins. Evidence rewires the brain for belief. Maybe consider stickers on the calendar when you get something done.

Dr. Swart’s key idea:

• “Hope is not passive—it’s a practice.”

Trusting the Gestation Period – Patience is a virtue but sadly lacking in so much of our society. 

• What if nothing is happening?
   
  • Often, things are rearranging behind the scenes. 
• Here is the kicker: The energetic test:
   
  • The universe (or your subconscious) often tests your desire with a pause. 

Spiritual-scientific bridge: It takes both physical solid scientifically proven techniques and a solid belief system. 

-        Spiritual: “Let go and trust.”

-        Scientific: “Keep reinforcing the desired outcome so your RAS continues filtering for opportunity.” Reticular Activating System (RAS) is a network of neurons in the brainstem that plays a crucial role in regulating wakefulness, arousal, and attention. It acts as a filter for sensory information, deciding what is important enough to reach conscious awareness. 

• Affirmations to use:
   
  • “I am becoming the person who naturally receives what I’ve asked for. And that takes time.”
• I am worthy of change and happiness
• I deserve good things
• Change is my right and my journey

Reflection:
 - “What are you rushing that actually needs time to ripen? What could you give permission to unfold?”

Patience Practice Challenge:
- For the next 7 days, track where progress is happening.

- Write one affirmation daily.

Remember Just because it’s not here yet doesn’t mean it’s not on its way.

“Patience isn’t the absence of action—it’s the ability to keep acting with belief, even when the outcome hasn’t shown up yet. 

https://www.taraswart.com/

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Manifestation only works when you are deeply aligned with what you truly desire—not what you think you should want.

This series is inspired by the book The Source by Dr. Tara Swart.

We’re talking about Magnetic Desire—the type of desire that pulls opportunities, people, and decisions toward you because it's real, raw, and yours.

• Many people manifest from ego, envy, or societal pressure. They make themselves do the work and they want something but it may not be what they themselves really want or need. 
• If what you’re calling in isn’t yours at the core—it won’t stick.
•  
• — Dr. Tara Swart:  “You cannot manifest what you do not authentically desire.” 

So What are false desires?

• Why your brain resists them:
   
  • Your subconscious mind knows when you're out of alignment. 
  • Researchers think around 95% of brain activity is unconscious. 

3 Symptoms of a false desire:

• 1. You procrastinate.
• 2. You feel tired just thinking about it. 
• 3. You want it more when others have it—but lose motivation when it’s just you.

3 steps to Finding Your Magnetic Desire 

• Step 1: Get brutally honest
• Step 2: Tune into the body  
  • Watch for these feelings and signs:
     - Expansion and Contraction
• Step 3: Check for sustainable desire

3 practices for Activating Magnetic Desire in Practice 

1.  Affirmation refinement

2. Micro-alignment 

3. Anchoring it

2 exercises you can do right NOW! 

• 1. Focused desire: Start with reflecting back on what we are discussing. 
• 2. Magnetic Challenge:
   This week, write a “Desire Audit.”

Get the book: https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/

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Manifestation is not just about knowing what you want—it's about doing what needs to be done to get there. 

Dr. Tara Swart: “The universe responds to clarity + momentum.” 

She talks about how Manifestation isn't magic — it's neuroscience. Your prefrontal cortex sees the future and makes plans. Your amygdala tries to protect you from risk.
When you balance them — calming fear while acting with clarity — you align your brain, body, and belief in powerful ways.

Dr. Swart’s lists Practical Manifestation Tools in her book. 

3 Neuroscience backed exercises to do:

1. Action Board (not just a vision board) 
2. Mental Rehearsal / Visualization 
3. “If X happens, I will do Y.”

Nine common block busters to use:

1.      Fear of failure - “Action is data collection.” 

2.      Self-sabotage - Self-sabotage isn't weakness.
 It's outdated protection based on past experiences

3.    Waiting for the ‘perfect time’ -  There isn’t one. Progress starts now, with imperfect steps.

4.    Mini mantras: “Small aligned action > big perfect plans.”

5.     Name the Saboteur:  “If you can name it, you can tame it.”

6.      Repetition Builds the Path - Interrupt the Loop

7.      Make Your Environment Work for You - Willpower is overrated. Systems win.

8.      Talk to Yourself, Not From Yourself - Change your inner dialogue from reaction to direction. 

9.      Celebrate Micro Wins.

Reflection Exercise:: What is one thing you say you want—but haven’t moved on yet? What’s one action you can take today?”

Practice Challenge:

• Pick one desire. Write down 3 concrete steps to move toward it this week.

“You don’t get what you want. You get what you believe you can have—and what you consistently act on.” — Inspired by Dr. Swart

Get the book!! - https://www.taraswart.com/

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I wanted to make manifestation a tangible, active thing. This series is not about just hoping but actually doing. 

We're diving deep into the science and practice of manifestation—not through wishful thinking, but through brain-based strategies from Dr. Tara Swart’s powerful book The Source." life, build patience and to help me direct my focus on things that I want in my life. Dr. Tara Swart, a neuroscientist, approaches manifestation as a scientifically sound process rather than magical thinking. I really like that a lot!

The Science Behind Abundant Thinking 

• What is abundant thinking?
• Dr. Swart’s neuroscience perspective:
   
  • The brain’s reticular activating system (RAS) filters what we focus on.
•  Key takeaway:
   
  • “Your brain believes what you repeatedly tell it.”

4 practical abundance exercises: 

1.   The Vision Board with a Neuroscience Twist

          o   Visuals help train the RAS. 

          o   Neuroscience tip: Regularly move and refresh images so the brain                             doesn’t tune them out. 

2.     Daily Gratitude Practice

          o    Choose 3 things you’re grateful for—but phrase them in terms of how                      they connect to your future self.

3.     The “Future Self” Letter

           o   Write a letter from your future self who already has what you’re                                 manifesting.

4.     Neural Reconditioning Through Affirmations

            Use present-tense affirmations with emotional language , better yet use                    affirmations while moving, running, walking, anything!

Incorporate Abundance into Daily Life 

    Micro-shifts in daily habits:

You need to make a Social & energetic alignment:

• Mind-body link:
   
  • Your body plays a role in abundance—hydration, sleep, movement, and breath work all regulate your ability to perceive abundance

 Challenge: For the next 7 days, do one abundance exercise per day—small but consistent.

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” — Wayne Dyer

https://www.taraswart.com/