When I was younger I was fixated on clocks and the passage of time. It’s accurate to say it was an obsession of mine, to the point that it caused me large amounts of anxiety.

It got difficult for me to tell when I was future-planning or when I was catastrophizing. 

On top of that, I had a constant need for sensory input. There are multiple childhood videos of me sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth. Then it was the rocking horse. Then the swing set. Then the end of my bed or a rocking chair. Always with music playing in the background. 

When I went away to college, I knew that the constant swinging and rocking would seem unusual, so I channeled that into activities I thought would seem more “normal”. For me, that was a lot of cardio. 

People used to ask me, “How do you motivate yourself to exercise so much?”. Really it was the only way I could function. 

Sitting still wasn’t an option.

I’d been a swimmer up until then, and had dabbled in running. Since running is so accessible, it was a natural transition for me; which is why I got even more involved in endurance sports in my early twenties.  

This led me to have an even deeper understanding of my obsession with time. When you’re on the road by yourself and you know you have 10 miles to go, you have to find a way to pass the time. When you’re pacing yourself, you have to think about how long something will take, how it feels in your body, what time means, and how it relates to distance and other activities that take the same length of time.

When you’re all alone doing some repetitive and physically strenuous activity, it naturally creates the opportunity to engage in mental play, chunking the task in to smaller chunks, reframing it to make it seem less overwhelming, reminding yourself that you already did this before and survived, you’ll be able to do it again, and eventually this moment will have passed and you’ll be looking back on it (hopefully appreciating that you persisted).

My time obsession partially stemmed from my realization that every moment is fleeting, which can evoke both feelings of relief (if it’s something you don’t like to do) or sadness (if it’s something you enjoy). I realized this from a young age. 

In episode 125 of the De Facto Leaders podcast, I share how I’ve used my fixation with time to reframe and persist through difficult tasks, how I’ve used it to manage anxiety, and how it’s informed the activities I choose as a sensory outlet.

In this episode, I mentioned my Time Tracking Journal, which outlines a strategy that helps kids independently complete daily tasks like academic assignments, functional tasks, or classroom routines WITHOUT arguments and constant prompting. You can sign up for the Time Tracking Journal here. 

I also mentioned the School of Clinical Leadership, my program for related service providers who want to take a leadership role in implementing executive functioning support. You can learn more about the program here. 

Be sure to check out the BE podcast network for educators and aspiring leaders. If you’re looking for shows to inspire you to level up in your career or more effectively serve students, we’ve got you covered. Learn more about the BE podcast network at http://bepodcastnetwork.com/

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