Toddler Purgatory

How do we talk to our kids about things we ourselves don't even fully understand? Some of the most difficult topics to discuss with kids are sex, death, illness, divorce, and natural disasters or tragedies. Molly and Blaire give recommendations for taking care of yourself, guiding the conversation, and avoiding euphemisms or metaphors that may be more harmful than helpful.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources referenced in the episode:

Dr. Steven J. Berkowitz for the Child Mind Institute: "What Makes an Event Traumatic for a Child?"

Lisa Milbrand for Parents.com: "A Step-By-Step Guide to Talking to Kids About Death and Grief"

American Psychological Association: "How to talk to children about difficult news"

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listener Amy had this question for us in our Facebook group:

My daughter is turning three in one week and her nearly overnight transition to mob boss terrorist monster is complete. It would help to hear from other parents that this is normal and maybe one day she will be my sweet baby again? Or just not a mob boss terrorist at least??

Three ages enter. Only one emerges. Is it the terrible twos that are the absolute worst age to parent? Threenagers? Fournadoes? Will we ever get our sweet unicorn babies back from the depths of toddler purgatory? There is something on the other side of this, right?

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here links to some of the resources mentioned in our episode:

Jay L. Hoecker for the Mayo Clinic: "Why Are Two-Year-Olds So Difficult?"

Caroline Shannon-Karasik for Romper: "Here's Why Threenagers Are A (Frustrating, Totally Lovable) Thing"

Zero to Three: "Toddlers and Challenging Behavior: Why They Do It and How to Respond"

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we form a strong bond with our kids when we're struggling with our own issues, when we've just been through a worldwide pandemic, when we used to have that bond but have lost it somewhere along the way? It's not easy, but there are some tried-and-true methods *ahem, therapy* for forming or reforming a close bond with your child.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Resist the urge to blame yourself if you feel your bond is suffering or has deteriorated. There are many factors that contribute to the problem that are outside your control.

Links!

Ella Glover for Metro UK: "Asking For A Friend: Why can’t I bond with my child?"

PsychCentral: "Tips to Heal After Growing Up with a Dismissive Mother"

PsychCentral: "4 Habits that Disconnect You from Your Kids"

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when our kid lies to our face? At a certain age, kids start discovering that they can just, well, not tell the truth about things. This can range from innocent fibs to whopping lies of grandiose proportions. Though this be mini madness, there is mini method in it.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Doing "truth checks" with your kid is a great way to encourage them to be honest with you without making them feel as if they've been caught with their hand in the proverbial (or literal) cookie jar.

Links!

Beth Arky for Child Mind Institute: "Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It"

Connie Chang for The Washington Post: "All kids lie: How to handle it, and when you should worry"

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child learning values or lessons at school that are not in line with your own? Do they discipline in a way that you don't agree with? It's not unusual for teachers and parents to butt heads over a child's learning. Here's how to address the problem without coming in too hot.

Blaire and Molly discuss:

Coming in with facts, not feelings, is key. When our kids are involved, it's easy to get emotional and heavily invested in a situation. But it's important to remember that both you and your child's teacher want what's best for your kid.

Links!

Sherri Gordon for Verywell Family: "What to Do If You Disagree With Your Child's Teacher"

Lisa Van Gemert: "6 Steps to Take When School Isn’t Meeting the Needs of Your Child"

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Regression is what happens when a child revisits an earlier stage of his or her development– and behaves accordingly. Paradoxically, regression can happen right after a child makes a developmental leap or meets a new milestone. Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, suggests that regression is a manifestation of the constant push-and-pull little kids feel between the need for dependence and the desire for independence.

But how are parents supposed to react? Are we supposed to let them start dragging their blankie to pre-K? Is pushback totally required or a terrible idea?

In this episode, we discuss what works to discourage the regressive behavior, how to know when to just allow or ignore it, and how to do with our own stress that yes, actually our child will be the first person in history to walk down the aisle at college graduation still using a pacifier. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Caroline Vollans for Nursery World: An Essential Guide To Regression

Melinda Wenner Moyer for the New York Times: Wait, I Thought You Had Outgrown This

Unity Point: Regressive Behavior: Signs of Child Regression & What to Do

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transitions are hard for little kids, and it’s not hard to see why: they usually move a kid from something that they’re absorbed in and enjoying to something a lot less interesting and fun.

In this episode we talk about how to deal with the meltdowns, talking back, and general resistance around transitions, and how to make those moments easier, whether it’s a “big picture” transition like starting school, or just time to leave the playground.

We talk about Claire Lerner’s excellent advice in this episode– check out What Fresh Hell’s recent interview with Claire: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/claire-lerner

And here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Dyan Robson for the CBC: How To Help Kids Who Struggle With Daily Transitions

Claire Lerner for PBS Kids: How to Help Your Child Successfully Transition Back to School

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Studies indicate that up to 50% of children experience a sleep problem. When babies and kids don't sleep moms don't sleep either– so this week we're talking to a sleep expert! Becca Campbell is the founder and creator of Little Z’s® Sleep Consulting , where parents can easily get sleep help through online courses for children ages 0-5 years old. Becca's courses and her Little Z's Sleep Podcast have helped thousands of families around the world make sleep a thing.

In this episode Becca brings the knowledge on

Doing the extra work around sleep is worth it in the long run– and Becca is full of terrific advice.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom guilt. Mom rage. Shame. We feel the things. Then we feel bad about feeling the things. Which doesn't help us feel any better.

In this episode we discuss how to acknowledge, anticipate, sit with, process, and redirect these feelings, without beating ourselves up for having felt them in the first place.

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Pooja Lakshmin for The New York Times: Saying No Is Self-Care For Parents

Motherly: Mom Rage is Real-and it's a sign that mother's needs aren't being met 

Lauren Smith Brody for Today's Parent: Why mom guilt is the biggest lie of all

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have more than one kid, you are pretty familiar with sibling rivalry. The constant squabbling can drive us nuts, but it’s important to remember that it’s less about whatever toy they’re fighting over at the moment than about birth order, family dynamics, and their competing desires for our attention.

We can’t stop the bickering forever, but there are ways to minimize conflict and maximize productive resolution. We discuss the best ways to set our kids up for success. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials: 10 Tips For Dealing With Sibling Rivalry

Ask Dr. Sears: Sibling Rivalry: 20 Tips to Stop the Friction

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices