Toddler Purgatory

Any one who has had a toddler knows the terror that surfaces whenever a lovey (let's say Mr. Bunny) goes missing.

About 60% of babies adopt some sort of transitional object at around 9 months old. This is when little ones start to separate from parents (and, in fact, when they begin to understand that their parent is a separate person). Once a kid bonds with "Mr. Bunny", you may worry they'll be taking him to college. But there are ways to gently wean your child off comfort items in time.

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources referenced in this episode:

Alice Allan for La Leche League International: "Comfort Items and Attachment Parenting"

Lindsey Konkel for What to Expect: Why Do Some Babies Need Comfort Items (Or "Transitional Objects")?

Marnell Jameson for Parents.com: "6 Tips for Weaning Your Child's Comfort Object"

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked our listeners what they would pay good money for if it made their lives just a touch easier. The answers....will probably not surprise you.

In this episode, Molly and Blaire plot to patent:

Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their excellent ideas for these inventions!

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey

“Making memories” with our kids is always a fraught proposition, but when they’re checking for the elf every morning and whipped into a general holiday frenzy, the tears and tantrums are often pretty close to the surface. 

Child specialist Merete Kropp says we can reset the “gimme gimmes” by teaching our kids that giving and receiving are reciprocal actions. By explain the gifts you’re giving to others, and the intentions behind them, kids can focus more on the joy of giving than their own expectations. At least sometimes. 

It’s always worth doing what we can to soften into the joys of karaoke Christmas carols and driving around looking at the lights. When we create memories with our children, the true gifts we are giving them are the tools to become who they are. There is so much fun and joy in the surrender of being just a little bit silly.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Merete Kropp for Washington Post On Parenting: What children need even more than presents this holiday season

Samantha Parent Walravens for HuffPost: 8 Ways To Teach Your Kids An Attitude Of Gratitude This Holiday Season

@busytoddler on Instagram

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why is it that kids are so darn honest? Turns out the "filter" that the rest of us try to apply to our everyday interactions just doesn't exist in our young ones. Their little brains aren't capable of fabricating lies like older kids and adults. And, as we all know, the constant honesty of little kids is a double-edged sword.

Listeners wrote in with some of the most ruthless truths their toddlers have voiced, and man oh man, kids really can be frank!

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are some of the resources mentioned in today's episode:

Lizzy Francis for Fatherly: "How to Raise an Honest Kid (But Not a Narc)"

Brook Bolen for Vice: "Behind the Brutal Honesty of Drunks and Toddlers"

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom tribes and parent posses: do we need friends who are also fellow parents? If we don’t have a group of those, how do we set about finding or creating one? 

70% of moms agree that their “inner mom circle” is their primary means of daily support. Some of us find that soft place to fall really quickly, and some of us struggle, for reasons that are in and/or out of our control. 

In this episode we discuss

Speaking of virtual mom groups and parent posses– join us in the What Fresh Hell Facebook group! and tag us: #toddlerpurgatory

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy: Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding

Coffee and Carpool: 10 Easy Steps For Introverts To Find New Mom Friends

 Jenna Autuori Dedic for Parents: How to Make New Mom Friends During the Pandemic

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are we creating unrealistic expectations when we praise our kid just for waking up in the morning? Turns out there is too much of a good thing, but we can also reframe how, when, and why we praise our kids.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Kids can sense when praise isn't genuine. Instead of congratulating them on their every action and creating an unrealistic standard for praise in the future, focus on encouragement without value judgement or "I" statements.

Links!

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we protect our kids from negative images about bodies, diet culture, and food without locking them in a Rapunzel tower? The truth is, we can't. But we CAN start nonjudgmental conversations about body positivity, food, and and self-esteem with our kids at home.

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Links to the resources mentioned in the episode:

Sumner Brooks for Good Housekeeping: "How to Raise a Kid Who Is Satisfied With Their Body, According to a Registered Dietitian"

Carolina Public Health Magazine: "Survey finds disordered eating behaviors among three out of four American women"

Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why are kids so weird about washing hands and brushing teeth and taking baths?

How often do kids really need to bathe, anyway?

Is hygiene a battle worth fighting? Yes. Sometimes. In this episode we discuss the expert advice on how often kids need to get clean, plus our own tips for making it fun or interesting enough that our kids will go along with it.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Susan Stiffelman for HuffPost: My 5-Year-Old Won’t Wash His Hands!

What To Expect: Resisting Bathtime

Dr. Claire McCarthy for Harvard Health: Does your child need to bathe every day?

Colgate: How To Help a Child Who Won’t Brush Their Teeth

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we hear our kids say something negative about themselves, sometimes we freak out a little. Where did they hear this? Where is this coming from? Who is messing with my baby? !

Most often, if a kid calls herself “stupid” because she’s frustrated with homework, she might just be venting. Or joking. She might be showing us that she has a little rigidity around perfection. 

But when negative self-talk is insistent, consistent, and persistent, it can also be a sign of stress or anxiety. 

In this episode we discuss how to better understand our kids’ negative self-talk, and the most productive ways of responding. There’s a bonus: turns out most of those strategies also work for our own “No, are you kidding? I look horrible, the pandemic has aged me a decade!” moments.

Here are links to two resources we discuss in this episode: 

Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood: Why Kids Say Negative Things About Themselves 

https://www.understood.org/articles/en/child-negative-self-talk

@transformingtoddlerhood on Instagram

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If only it were as simple as singing "Kumbaya" with our kids in a calming circle and sprinkling them with kindness dust to make them sweet, polite angels. You may never receive handmade flower crowns from your toddler, but there are ways to introduce kind thoughts, feelings, and actions into your home.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Claire Lerner of Lerner Child Development: "When Kids Act Mean: Why some kids have trouble being kind and what you can do"

From Janet Lansbury's podcast Unruffled: "My Child Is So Mean to Me"

Sarah Aadland for Motherly: "Raising kind kids: 9 daily habits to teach kids kindness"

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.

Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.  

KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices