Toddler Purgatory

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big picture, hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our own. 

It’s hard not to want to bubble wrap our kids until college… but since there are probably some negative side effects to that as well, in this episode we discuss how to manage our relationships with some of the most common parenting fears.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Connie Mattiessen for BabyCenter: Top 5 parenting fears and what you can do about them

Paul Donahue: Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters

Dr. Minne Fekkes et al: Effects of Antibullying School Program on Bullying and Health Complaints

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Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

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Why are parents so tired all the time? Perhaps it’s the whole not sleeping thing. But a recent study on maternal exhaustion found that perfectionism is also a huge factor. In other words, we run ourselves ragged making things nice for our loved ones, and then are too exhausted to enjoy those things ourselves. 

In this episode, we talk about how our exhaustion affects our parenting, how the pandemic has made it all even harder, and what we’re trying in order to get just a little more rest. 

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Dr. Sarah Hubert et al: Parental Burnout: When Exhausted Mothers Open Up

Gabriela Garcia for The Every Mom: 5 Ways To Fight Mom Fatigue

@kids.eat.in.color on Instagram

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

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Do you have a kid who insists that a sandwich is inedible unless it is cut in half instead on the diagonal? A child who won't allow you to sing in the car? A little one who insists that every truck that is not a pickup truck must be deemed a "regular truck"? If so, you have labored under the strict dictatorship of Little Kid Rules.

On this episode Blaire and Molly dive in to why little kids have such strong rules, why they expect adults to follow them, and which members of the What Fresh Hell Facebook Group are currently toiling under some very specific dictates from their tiny bosses!

Articles Cited:

Claire Lerner on Getting Kids to Be Flexible

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

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A good morning starts with a good night before. Kids who are well-rested tend to have an easier morning the next day. Any prep we can do the night before– laying out clothes, prepping breakfast and lunches in advance– can help make the morning routing less chaotic.

The morning routine also brings us back to the classic parenting rule "Put your own oxygen mask on first." If you can take even a little time for yourself while you let your kids play in the morning, it can help you face the rest of your day, and your kids, in a better headspace.

On busy mornings, consider turning off the tech once everyone is up. Fighting over when it's time to turn off screens and get ready can add conflict to a situation that's already chaotic.

But we say do what works for you and your family. Don't try to completely revamp your morning routine all at once. Start small with one change, like taking a shower before the kids wake up or making a protein-rich breakfast for the whole family. Don't try to make everything perfect right away. Not every morning will be smooth sailing, but small changes can make a big difference in making your mornings just a little less stressful.

Articles cited in this episode:

The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child (featuring Dr. Jerry Bubrick of the Child Mind Institute)

Busy Toddler

This Simple Balance

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

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When you have little ones, you end up with a mountain of stuff you probably didn't need to buy– and a few things that are total sanity-savers. In this episode we're talking about all the stuff that got us through, and still is! Most of these are to help us take care of the kids. A few of them are just for us.

Here's a list of all the must-haves we discuss.... If your podcast app doesn't support clickable links, you can also find this list on our website: https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/things-we-cant-live-without.

Blaire & Molly’s Suggestions:

Boppy Nursing Pillow https://amzn.to/2XEGIrI

Oxo Wipe Dispenser https://amzn.to/3nKkfnU

Utility Cart https://amzn.to/3CshR9D

Inglesina Fast Table Chair https://amzn.to/3CshR9D

Baby Brezza Formula Dispenser https://amzn.to/2XBhpH1

Baby Merlin Sleep Suit https://amzn.to/3zkcpU0

SwaddleMe Swaddle https://amzn.to/39daMgo

Keekaroo Changer https://amzn.to/3lwXdOM

Boon Countertop Drying Rack https://amzn.to/2VVdQec

Yeti Coffee Tumbler https://amzn.to/3kjJCuM

WildBird Ring Sling Carrier https://amzn.to/3zjL4l0

Disposable Placemats https://amzn.to/3klyaPk

Boudreaux’s Butt Paste https://amzn.to/3zt4TGB

Frida Nose Sucker https://amzn.to/3kpHv8D

Listener Suggestions:

Yeti Rambler https://amzn.to/3zsp5Iu

Thermos Funtainer https://amzn.to/3km7HRA

Fillable Baby Spoons https://amzn.to/3zpzsx0

Hatch Clock https://amzn.to/3krXd3g

Sleek Socket Outlet Protector https://amzn.to/3tVBbJ3

Kindle Fire for Kids https://amzn.to/3nPnydv

Eufy Security Camera https://amzn.to/3AvjLFJ

Magnatiles https://amzn.to/39kpQZN

As an Amazon Associate, Toddler Purgatory may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our child has finally realized they are separate from us. Yay! Aaaaaand cue the separation anxiety. The fact that separation anxiety signals growth in kids doesn't make it any easier for mother or child. But there are coping strategies on both sides that can ease some of the pain.

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

Wendy Sue Swanson for healthychildren.org: "How to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety"

Scott Edwards and Emily Rizzitano for Boston Children's Hospital: "Helping your child cope with separation anxiety"

Ashurina Ream for Psyched Mommy: "7 Tips to Manage Maternal Separation Anxiety"

"Grownups Come Back" a song about separation anxiety from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood on PBS Kids

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How young is too young to drive your kid three states away for a lacrosse tournament? Is it 5? (Yes, yes it is.) It's tempting to use sports to teach our kids valuable lessons, tire them out, and groom them for the Olympics. But sports for young kids are intrinsically valuable, even without structure, competition, or score keeping. And why would you want your kids to grow up to make millions of dollars a year playing baseball when they could be actors, anyway?

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are the links to some of the resources mentioned in the show:

Patty Onderko for parenting.com: "Toddler Sports"

Kelly Wallace for CNN: "How to make your kid hate sports without really trying"

Spooky Nook Sports: "How To Get Kids Interested In Sports - Best Sports For Kids"

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Sometimes we wish we could just get away from it all. Is that wrong? We love our families! Even with that love in our hearts, it's tempting to yearn for a room of one's own with a solid, soundproof door. We asked our listeners what they would do with one entire week off, and for many of them it involved a lot of TV, snacks, and, in some cases, the cast of Queer Eye.

In this episode. Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are the links to the articles we discuss in the episode:

TIME Magazine: "Moms: Your Fantasy About Running Away Is Totally Normal"

Caitlin Gibson for The Washington Post: "American mothers need a break. But is the ‘momcation’ a solution to their problems or a symptom?"

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Happy Father's Day! This episode, Molly and Blaire talk to their respective dads, Dick and Chuck, about their experiences as fathers and everything they've learned along the way.

In this episode, Molly, Blaire, Dick, and Chuck discuss:

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When we see parents absolutely losing it at their children– and maybe even laying hands on them–are we obligated to act? Prevent Child Abuse America is clear that if you see something, you say something.

The harder part is knowing what it is we've seen. We don't always know whether we're witnessing a regrettable but isolated incident or something that’s part of a pattern. We want to make sure we're not making that child less safe by publicly calling the parent out. 

And knowing that actually making a phone call to enlist the police or CPS might trigger a series of events that can separate parent and child, we want to be “very confident,” as philosophy professor Kwame Appiah explains, “that such recourse is justified.” 

In this episode we discuss how we've handled these moments in our own lives– and going forward, how we'll discern when need to speak up, with the knowledge of how to defuse the situation rather than further inflame it.

If you feel a child is in real/imminent danger, please call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

We discuss this article in this episode:

Christopher Mele for The New York Times: Should You Intervene When a Parent Harshly Disciplines a Child in Public?

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