Toddler Purgatory

Do you look in your bank account and wonder where all your money has gone? We asked our listeners for the small ways they save and and budget every month to make money less of a mystery.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Investing a little bit of time in some of these solutions reaps big rewards budget-wise, so seriously, start eensy teensy tiny. Look in your fridge to see what you need to use up before going to the store. Join Facebook Marketplace or your local "Buy Nothing" group. Budgeting is a muscle that you have to exercise consistently in order to get good at it, so give yourself some grace!

Here are all the resources we mentioned in the episode!

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What does it mean to have "happy motherhood?" And is it even a realistic goal to have, given the ups and downs of being a parent? We asked our listeners about their tips to help new parents have a "happier" first year.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Managing your expectations was a key theme in the answers we got - so many moms want everything to be perfect, so they are inevitably disappointed when they don't get their twins out the door in matching outfits every single morning! But guess what? No one is perfect, even though it may seem every other mom on Earth has it more together than you.

Join our Facebook group for more advice, laughs, and support: www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast

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How do we get our kids away from screens without breaking the bank or planning elaborate outings? Erica Domesek's new book "P.S. - We Made This!" has plenty of ideas for kids' crafts that require zero shopping, zero traveling, and zero (okay, minimal) stress.

Erica Domesek is a social media maven, and an extremely cool + crafty parent! She is the founder of the innovative DIY lifestyle brand P.S.–I Made This, which launched in 2009. She has been a distinguished expert in the areas of design and style as well as a leader in brand marketing for 15 years. PS.–We Made This: Super Fun Crafts that Grow Smarter and Healthier Kids follows in the footsteps of her first two books, offering similarly creative and colorful at-home projects– but now invites the whole family to join in the fun! 

Molly, Blaire, and Erica discuss:

Here's where you can find Erica:

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So is it cool to drop off your kid at his friend's house for a playdate and then go home for an hour and take a nap? No? That's bad playdate etiquette? Ok, just checking. Here are some playdate do's and don'ts for when your little one finds a friend.

In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Nicole Yezzi for First Things First: "Four things to consider when setting up a playdate"

Maureen Ryan for Verywell Family: "Attending or Hosting a Play Date for Toddlers"

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Self-care can sound like another chore. Seriously, who has time for a bubble bath? And is that really the best use of 20 free minutes, assuming we had them? 

But as Haley Jena points out in this article for What To Expect, self-care isn’t selfish. It's what we need in order to keep going as parents. It's not optional.

In this episode, we discuss what definitely doesn’t work for us, what kind of does, and what we’re going to start (like reading actual books and not just our phones). 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Moira Lawler for Everyday Health: What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important To Your Health? 

Forbes: Practicing Self-Care Is Important: 10 Easy Habits To Get You Started

Haley Jena for What To Expect: 19 Self-Care Ideas for Moms That Aren't Just 'Take a Shower'

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Why are little kids obsessed with the most random things? If your little one has ever insisted on sleeping with a hairbrush, or going to preschool every morning with the same tiny school bus clenched in her fist, you know exactly what we're talking about.

Turns out, kids' brains at this age are wired for what psychologists call "extremely intense interests." These obsessions offer dependability; order and control ,in a world where our kids don't have much of either; and even social icebreaking, since that other 3-year-old playing with dinosaurs is probably just as interested in a deep-dive discussion of their many types as your kid is. In the case of construction vehicles and garbage trucks, there's also "cathartic destruction," and who can't use a little of that when they're having a bad day?

In this episode, Blaire and Molly discuss their own kids' extremely intense interests and why they make their little ones tick.

They also refer to the "Dinosaurs and Trains and Superheroes and Nerf Guns: Boy Obsessions" episode of What Fresh Hell, which you can find here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/dinosaurs-and-trains-and-superheroes-and-nerf-guns-boy-obsessions/

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It's easy to blame and shame ourselves when we make parenting mistakes, no matter how big or how small, especially as moms. Here's how to break the blame/shame/guilt cycle for yourself and how to model self-forgiveness for your kids.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

How you treat yourself after your own mistakes becomes how your kid treats himself when he makes mistakes. And showing honesty and compassion to yourself in front of your kid when you make a mistake can actually build a stronger bond with your child.

Links! (they all come in threes today!)

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In this episode, Blaire and Molly pal around with their comedian friends Kate Zelensky and Cody Lindquist. They exchange knock-knock jokes, lament about times they bombed with their kids, and discuss a certain compelling performance of "Memory."

Kate Zelensky started a career in comedy in 2006 at The Upright Citizens Brigade having finally figured out that she wasn’t so good at musical theatre (though Molly disagrees, as we discuss in the episode!). Kate taught, performed, wrote and directed all around that joint for a dozen years. She dabbled in TV and Internet humor content but is best known for a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in which she played a mother of two pre teens - one of whom barfed pepperoni pizza all over the place because he refused to use the spit bucket. Kate got married and had two babies and now works full time as a vending machine for them. 

Cody Lindquist is an actress, voiceover actress, and comedian. She is the co-host of the podcast Two Beers In: A Tipsy Political Roundtable and the mom of two tiny New Yorkers. 

Links to resources mentioned in the episode:

Dru Sefton for The Washington Post: "How Families Share a Sense of Humor"

Kate's heart-wrenching rendition of "Memory"

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Sharing is caring, right? We were all raised to believe that sharing is an important part of polite social interactions. But as adults, we would be taken aback if abruptly asked to share something we were using, like our phone. So why do we insist that our kids share toys with complete strangers at a moment's notice? Here's when– and why– it's ok NOT to share.

Molly and Blaire discuss:

Role-playing with your child to practice polite yet assertive behavior is a great way to start the conversation about when and why it's appropriate to share.

Links!

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We asked the #todpurgs listeners: what are the things your parents said that you SWORE you'd never say to your own kids– and yet still do? You all brought the answers... and here are some of our faves.

#parentingonrepeat #YouGotMcDonaldsMoney

Here is the link to the article Molly and Blaire reference in the episode:

Charlotte Hilton Andersen for Redbook Magazine: "21 Things Parents Used to Say That Would Shock Millennial Parents"

Special thanks to our sponsors:

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