Tom Nikkola | VIGOR Training

Tom Nikkola | VIGOR Training

By Tom Nikkola | VIGOR TrainingHealth & FitnessNutritionMental HealthFitness
Download on the App Store

Tom Nikkola | VIGOR Training episodes

  • The Definition of Marital Abuse That Set Me Straight
    Marital abuse occurs on a sliding scale. What I share below is not to minimize the situations someone may be facing such as physical abuse or emotional abuse. 
    I'm sharing what I learned in hopes that it helps some husbands and wives understand the impact they have on their partners, even when they would never describe their actions as "abusive." 
    Vanessa and I are honest, caring, sincere, devoted partners. We love each other more today than the day we got married.
    Like other couples, even in the best marriages, we argue and fight now and then. Each of us can be stubborn, and convinced the way we see things is the right way.
    As a result, a minor disagreement, or difficulty seeing the other's point of view, can lead a "discussion" into a downward spiral.
    Partners in marriage. Partners in business.
    February of 2015 was a big turning point in our lives.
    Vanessa was earning more in her Young Living business, than I was as a Senior Director at Life Time Fitness. We saw this as the perfect opportunity to do what we'd always wanted to do: work together in a health and fitness business we could call our own.
    I resigned from Life Time. We became business partners.
    Vanessa is the CEO, I'm the COO of Healthy Living How To.
    We commute from the bedroom to our home office, with a stop along the way to fill up our coffee cups.
    Spending all day, everyday together, and trying to agree on decisions about the business, we ran into some challenges.
    When you disagree with people at work, you go home and forget about it. You talk about it with your spouse, and then the next day, you go back to work with your mind clear.
    Or if you get in an argument with your spouse at home, you go to work, and it can give you time to let your emotions settle down. When you get home, you can have a civil conversation.
    When you live and work with the same person, that doesn't happen.
    I saw that I had a lot to do with our arguments.
    I'm a big believer in taking responsibility for anything and everything going on in your life. No VKTM virus here. So I started reading.
    Unfortunately, I didn't read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus until we'd been working together for a year and a half.
    After reading it, I believe that Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus should be a college requisite class. 
    I did read a lot of marriage books throughout this period, though. I felt like many of the books were written just for me.
    It was as though the authors were using their words to hit me between the eyes.
    What is marital abuse?
    One of the books that's had a lasting impact on me is Love Busters by Willard F. Harley.
    According to Harley,
    Marital abuse is a deliberate effort of one spouse to cause the other to be unhappy.
    Yikes! That is a scary definition.
    I'll come back to some personal examples in a moment.
    Harley explains that we have two parts to our personality, as it relates to relationships:
    The Giver: The part of someone's personality that is concerned only about the happiness of others.The Taker: The part of someone's personality that is concerned only about his or her own happiness.
    The Giver does things for others to make them happy, even if it leaves himself or herself unhappy. The Taker does things for himself or herself, even it it leaves others unhappy.
    If someone feels as though they're always giving and never getting, that's the Taker speaking.
    The Taker justifies bad behavior. In an argument, the Taker prevents you from seeing the other person's perspective. To the Taker, his or her perspective doesn't matter. That Taker is only interested in his or her happiness, nobody else's.
    In positive, happy, intimate relationships, both spouses see things through the Giver's eyes. They both give to each other, and they enjoy doing so because their individual needs are met by the other.
    In a thriving relationship, the voice of the Giver is loud: "Do whatever you can to ...
    12 min
  • The VKTM Virus: Diagnosis, Prognosis, Prevention
    What is the VKTM virus? What are the symptoms? Can you prevent VKTM? Is there a cure? Here are the main things you need to know about this virus.
    Description: The VKTM virus is a curable "disease" that affects a significant number of people. The virus acts on individuals' minds to shift their perspectives from seeing life as something they actively participate in, to a state of life happening to them.
    Commonly seen in children, teens, and young adults, VKTM can affect people of any age. 
    VKTM is transferred to others through spoken and written language coming from those with the virus. Extended or repeated periods of complaining heighten the risk of contracting the virus.
    Those with the VKTM virus have difficulty taking ownership of circumstances that challenge their happiness and wellbeing.
    Symptoms: Regular use of phrases such as they always, she never, this always happens to me, it's my lot in life, nobody ever, etc.
    Use of such phrases is intended to transfer responsibility or blame to someone or something else, leaving the "host" of the virus feeling helpless to change its circumstances.
    Those with VKTM may also perceive others' successes as luck, good fortune, or some other ability that they could "never" possess.
    In extreme cases, VKTM victims may actually feel the world is out to get them or work against them.
    Diagnosis: Self-diagnosis has become more and more common with the use of the internet. It is never recommended to self-diagnose anything, especially the VKTM virus.
    Because VKTM creates a distorted perspective of the world, those with VKTM have a difficult time seeing the symptoms in themselves.
    To determine if you have the VKTM virus, getting friends or family members to confidentially share their insights may help. Of course, it is important not to ask those who already have the VKTM virus, as their perspective is already distorted. They may not be able to provide you with objective feedback.
    It may also be helpful to identify how many things in your life you blame others for, versus those you take responsibility for. If you don't feel a strong sense of responsibility for the challenges you face, it may be an indication of the virus. Again, though, self-diagnosis is not recommended.
    Prognosis: If the VKTM virus is left unchecked, it can lead to stunted personal growth, reduced fulfillment, alienation, and and a reduced likelihood of reaching one's full potential.
    Though the VKTM virus is not life-threatening, it can leave one feeling lifeless or joyless.
    Prevention/Cure: Preventing the VKTM virus can be achieved by building up the responsibility response system.
    The responsibility response system is an unconscious process that becomes dormant when the VKTM virus is overly active. However, through repeated, conscious claims of responsibility, the system can eventually overpower the VKTM virus.
    Because the VKTM virus is highly contagious, surrounding oneself with others with the virus makes an individual highly susceptible. Ear plugs, or listening to loud music may help, but it may also be seen as socially unacceptable.
    Surrounding oneself with those who have a strong responsibility response system can eliminate the virus in time.
    To avoid any misunderstanding, I suppose I should state that the VKTM virus isn't a real virus. Though being the victim can lead to real problems.
    Read also: Victimhood Fragility: 4 Ways We're Weakening Our Bodies, Minds, and Culture.
    6 min
  • The VKTM Virus: Diagnosis, Prognosis, Prevention
    What is the VKTM virus? What are the symptoms? Can you prevent VKTM? Is there a cure? Here are the main things you need to know about this virus.
    Description: The VKTM virus is a curable "disease" that affects a significant number of people. The virus acts on individuals' minds to shift their perspectives from seeing life as something they actively participate in, to a state of life happening to them.
    Commonly seen in children, teens, and young adults, VKTM can affect people of any age. 
    VKTM is transferred to others through spoken and written language coming from those with the virus. Extended or repeated periods of complaining heighten the risk of contracting the virus.
    Those with the VKTM virus have difficulty taking ownership of circumstances that challenge their happiness and wellbeing.
    Symptoms: Regular use of phrases such as they always, she never, this always happens to me, it's my lot in life, nobody ever, etc.
    Use of such phrases is intended to transfer responsibility or blame to someone or something else, leaving the "host" of the virus feeling helpless to change its circumstances.
    Those with VKTM may also perceive others' successes as luck, good fortune, or some other ability that they could "never" possess.
    In extreme cases, VKTM victims may actually feel the world is out to get them or work against them.
    Diagnosis: Self-diagnosis has become more and more common with the use of the internet. It is never recommended to self-diagnose anything, especially the VKTM virus.
    Because VKTM creates a distorted perspective of the world, those with VKTM have a difficult time seeing the symptoms in themselves.
    To determine if you have the VKTM virus, getting friends or family members to confidentially share their insights may help. Of course, it is important not to ask those who already have the VKTM virus, as their perspective is already distorted. They may not be able to provide you with objective feedback.
    It may also be helpful to identify how many things in your life you blame others for, versus those you take responsibility for. If you don't feel a strong sense of responsibility for the challenges you face, it may be an indication of the virus. Again, though, self-diagnosis is not recommended.
    Prognosis: If the VKTM virus is left unchecked, it can lead to stunted personal growth, reduced fulfillment, alienation, and and a reduced likelihood of reaching one's full potential.
    Though the VKTM virus is not life-threatening, it can leave one feeling lifeless or joyless.
    Prevention/Cure: Preventing the VKTM virus can be achieved by building up the responsibility response system.
    The responsibility response system is an unconscious process that becomes dormant when the VKTM virus is overly active. However, through repeated, conscious claims of responsibility, the system can eventually overpower the VKTM virus.
    Because the VKTM virus is highly contagious, surrounding oneself with others with the virus makes an individual highly susceptible. Ear plugs, or listening to loud music may help, but it may also be seen as socially unacceptable.
    Surrounding oneself with those who have a strong responsibility response system can eliminate the virus in time.
    To avoid any misunderstanding, I suppose I should state that the VKTM virus isn't a real virus. Though being the victim can lead to real problems.
    Read also: Victimhood Fragility: 4 Ways We're Weakening Our Bodies, Minds, and Culture.
    6 min
  • 5 Lessons From 15 Years in Fitness
    October 1, 2001. That was when my career officially started at The Woodbury Life Time Fitness (thanks Dan Kelly).
    I had a pre-med biology degree from St. Scholastica, most of which actually focused on exercise physiology. Soon after, I got certified through ACE and NASM, and then got my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) certification through the National Strength and Conditioning Association.
    I thought I knew all I needed, to save the world from obesity, and to help people regain the strength, stamina, and balance of their youth.
    I mean, what 24-year-old doesn't think he's got it all figured out?
    Today, just shy of my 40th birthday, I'd like to knock my younger self upside the head. What an ego!
    As Albert Einstein said,
    The only source of knowledge is experience.Albert Einstein
    Fifteen years after getting started, I'd have to agree.
    Here are five of the biggest lessons I've learned.
    1. Managing emotions helps you make good decisions.
    Emotions hijack the brain, and often shut down any logical thought or action.
    It's why you might curse the woman that cuts you off as you turn into the drop-off area at the school, while your young and innocent child sits in the back seat.
    It's why I choose to eat pizza and ice cream (gluten-free and dairy-free of course) when I'm in a bad mood, rather than a salad.
    It's why many of my clients had a hard time choosing to follow their programs.
    I didn't fully appreciate how difficult it was for my clients to make healthy decisions. I knew they often had emotional issues they were dealing with, but didn't understand the impact they really had.
    And I certainly wasn't equipped to understand them.
    So, I did what I know a lot of other trainers do. I patted my clients on the back and said, it'll work out. Just try harder.
    I'd offer tips on how they make better choices when dining out. I'd give them a pedometer to hold them accountable to moving, even when they were too tired to do so.
    I'm even ashamed to say that I'd make them do extra lunges if they didn't log their food.
    I can only imagine how much more stress I added to my clients minds.
    I know better now. If I were starting over, I'd make two things a regular recommendation in my programs.
    Counseling or coachingAromatherapy
    Personal trainers are not equipped to work with their clients' emotional issues or disempowering beliefs. They're not equipped to help them handle the mental and emotional challenges we have from the past, from careers, or from marriages.
    I believe that when people change their beliefs about themselves and their situations, it opens a world of possibility. It also makes them more capable of handling the changes in their lifestyle and nutrition necessary to get healthy and lean.
    I also mention essential oils because their effects on supporting a good mood are well-researched.
    The oils won't resolve the emotional turmoil that's going on. But they can provide some temporary relief.
    In my opinion, people don't make poor nutrition and exercise choices from a deficit of knowledge. They make the poor choices because that's what makes the most sense in their emotional state.
    Before moving on, this point isn't just for health and fitness. When we get our emotional state under control, we become more productive, we treat others better, we have more fun, and we're more fun to be around.
    2. Losing weight shouldn't require a degree in nutrition.
    I love reading nutrition research. I mean, I really LOVE it. However, a PubMed research paper doesn't entertain most people the way an episode of Scandal or How to Get Away With Murder does.
    And yet, I can reflect back on countless conversations with clients where I talked about the difference between omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, or the importance of training at just the right zone to maximize heart rate.
    Some of my clients really enjoyed learning about metabolism,
    12 min
  • 5 Lessons From 15 Years in Fitness
    October 1, 2001. That was when my career officially started at The Woodbury Life Time Fitness (thanks Dan Kelly).
    I had a pre-med biology degree from St. Scholastica, most of which actually focused on exercise physiology. Soon after, I got certified through ACE and NASM, and then got my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) certification through the National Strength and Conditioning Association.
    I thought I knew all I needed, to save the world from obesity, and to help people regain the strength, stamina, and balance of their youth.
    I mean, what 24-year-old doesn't think he's got it all figured out?
    Today, just shy of my 40th birthday, I'd like to knock my younger self upside the head. What an ego!
    As Albert Einstein said,
    The only source of knowledge is experience.Albert Einstein
    Fifteen years after getting started, I'd have to agree.
    Here are five of the biggest lessons I've learned.
    1. Managing emotions helps you make good decisions.
    Emotions hijack the brain, and often shut down any logical thought or action.
    It's why you might curse the woman that cuts you off as you turn into the drop-off area at the school, while your young and innocent child sits in the back seat.
    It's why I choose to eat pizza and ice cream (gluten-free and dairy-free of course) when I'm in a bad mood, rather than a salad.
    It's why many of my clients had a hard time choosing to follow their programs.
    I didn't fully appreciate how difficult it was for my clients to make healthy decisions. I knew they often had emotional issues they were dealing with, but didn't understand the impact they really had.
    And I certainly wasn't equipped to understand them.
    So, I did what I know a lot of other trainers do. I patted my clients on the back and said, it'll work out. Just try harder.
    I'd offer tips on how they make better choices when dining out. I'd give them a pedometer to hold them accountable to moving, even when they were too tired to do so.
    I'm even ashamed to say that I'd make them do extra lunges if they didn't log their food.
    I can only imagine how much more stress I added to my clients minds.
    I know better now. If I were starting over, I'd make two things a regular recommendation in my programs.
    Counseling or coachingAromatherapy
    Personal trainers are not equipped to work with their clients' emotional issues or disempowering beliefs. They're not equipped to help them handle the mental and emotional challenges we have from the past, from careers, or from marriages.
    I believe that when people change their beliefs about themselves and their situations, it opens a world of possibility. It also makes them more capable of handling the changes in their lifestyle and nutrition necessary to get healthy and lean.
    I also mention essential oils because their effects on supporting a good mood are well-researched.
    The oils won't resolve the emotional turmoil that's going on. But they can provide some temporary relief.
    In my opinion, people don't make poor nutrition and exercise choices from a deficit of knowledge. They make the poor choices because that's what makes the most sense in their emotional state.
    Before moving on, this point isn't just for health and fitness. When we get our emotional state under control, we become more productive, we treat others better, we have more fun, and we're more fun to be around.
    2. Losing weight shouldn't require a degree in nutrition.
    I love reading nutrition research. I mean, I really LOVE it. However, a PubMed research paper doesn't entertain most people the way an episode of Scandal or How to Get Away With Murder does.
    And yet, I can reflect back on countless conversations with clients where I talked about the difference between omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, or the importance of training at just the right zone to maximize heart rate.
    Some of my clients really enjoyed learning about metabolism,
    12 min

About Tom Nikkola | VIGOR Training

From the publisher's feed

Tune into the audio version of my written articles found at tomnikkola.com, read by yours truly. I candidly cover health and fitness,…