IG: @tomboyofficialig Many of our views of gender have been shaped by Western civilization view points which are very rigid, requiring everyone to fit into neat boxes and categories. But gender, as with most identifying aspects of a human’s self, gender is a spectrum. Some may fit into the boxes neatly while others of us deal with more fluid aspects of gender with how we identify, present and express ourselves. Many cultures in past history and even current times have had a different view of gender in society without the same rules in their societies as in Western societies. Can you even imagine how life would be living in an area and cultural surrounding where you could freely participate in hobbies, interests, shop for clothing, wear what you want and behave and present as you want without restrictions of gender norms? Ultimately our societies tell us how we are supposed to fit in when ultimately every individual has so many diverse aspects to their authentic self that some of us cannot fit into the neat boxes. AND THAT IS OKAY! We overlap into other areas. We think and feel differently. Jess Weiner posted a great positive and uplifting piece about viewing the gender spectrum outside the binary as a transcended connection to gender. Here is the Instagram post by Jess Weiner that I used in this episode to talk about gender and transcending https://www.instagram.com/p/B-aTMWxhEQk/?igshid=1b9vwryxmozq0. Here is the first Youtube episode where I saw Jess Weiner: https://youtu.be/CopJ6hzcsUo. In addition to Jess Weiner, some other’s whose names I mentioned or wanted to mention (and was blanking): Stevie Boebi, Sarah Croce, Amberscloset.

Gender tends to be often complex. Have you seen the movie “Her” on Netflix? One scene shows the main character and his coworker speaking during their shift. The coworker mentions to the main character that the main character’s letters come from a female aspect of himself. He continues, commenting that the main character is partially female. And he continues further to state that this comment was meant as a deep compliment to the main character’s letters that he composes as his job. People at times can feel attached to their gender and identify as well as how they present versus how they feel internally. Sometimes people are able to comfortably align all these aspects of themselves and freely live as they choose, and others are forced to an extreme of hiding out of fear for their safety. Here I talk about the external and internal world of gender identity.

Dating in the early stages can be very complex.

Getting defensive and super worried about a potentially new relationship is normal. But sometimes crushes can be exciting but other times quite anxiety provoking.

We all have those friends who are straight but flirty. Here I mention “femmes,” but really this can be applied to anybody who it is hard to tell if they are interested or if they act interested for attention. Remember, everyone matters, LGBTQ+ folx also matter! You deserve valuable and genuine relationships that are not clouded. One frustrating part of presenting as a “non-typical” stereotypical gender on the binary is that others may experience some curiosities when encountering you. These aren’t all bad experiences. But sometimes the other person may not be aware of the frustrating or confusing situations they may create. Flirting may be fun and uplifting, but other times it may send confusing signals and can unfortunately lead to pain. Here I speak about some topics folx may experience when they themselves are not on the specific stereotypical binary or if they don’t present as such. Please DM me and subscribe. Let me know the topics that interest you!

Have you ever declined a job or an interview due to the dress code? How about events, have you ever skipped or passed on an invite because of cultural clothing expectations? It really can be anxiety provoking.

Let us start to slowly dive into some serious and very relevant topics. Lately a lot of us are on dating apps and finding new methods of socially interacting (while in quarantine). What is your experience with different communication styles with love interests? and have you ever been ghosted? Subscribe to hear more content about topics LGBTQ+ topics.