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“As a child, I viewed the crime world as being filled with bad trees bearing bad fruit in human form, a brood of vipers of human form, hypocrites in human form, white-washed tombs in human form, ferocious wolves in sheep’s clothing in human form, sly foxes in human form, spiritually blind guides in human form, spiritually blind fools in human form, demonic devils in human form, the children of Hell in human form, thieving robbers in human form, vermin in human form, vultures in human form, hired-hands in human form, and anti-Christs on human form.” Antonio Myers. “Here, Jesus refers to those who serve the flock, in a sense, but who are not motivated by love and self-sacrifice. A hired shepherd, for instance, is inclined to run away when the sheep are under severe threat. That hired hand is only interested in the sheep so long as he benefits; when serving the sheep means personal risk, he abandons them. This describes those who purposefully take advantage of others using spiritual deception. But it also applies to those who "passively" take advantage, by claiming spiritual authority or privilege without the service or sacrifice that position entails.” -BibleRef.

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“Autism moms appreciate me because I am affectionate, affable, amiable, genial, congenial, cordial, warm, demonstrative, convivial, companionable, company-loving, sociable, gregarious, outgoing, clubbable, comradely, neighborly, hospitable, approachable, easy to get along with, accessible, communicative, open, unreserved, easygoing, good-natured, kindly, benign, amenable, agreeable, obliging, sympathetic, well-disposed, benevolent, couthy, chummy, pally, matey, decent, buddy-buddy, conversable, amicable, pleasant, easy, confidential, close, intimate, familiar, peaceable, peaceful, conciliatory, harmonious, not clubby, the good type of informal, non-hostile, not casual, not unceremonious, not unfriendly, and not hostile.” -Antonio Myers.

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“Autism moms and I didn’t and don’t make each other feel abandoned, deserted, desolate, destitute, desperate, empty, unused, vacated, left, neglected, relinquished, lonely, forsaken, solitary, hopeless, cast off, cast aside, cast away, forgotten, shunned, forlorn, avoided, outcast, rejected, helpless, unfortunate, alone, discarded, scorned, lost, doomed, friendless, wretched, thrown overboard, out on a limb, waiting at the church, left in the lurch, left holding bag, not inhabited, not befriended, and not in use.” -Antonio Myers.

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“Autism moms and I made and make each other feel the most affection, adoration, fondness, liking, attraction, caring tenderness, compassion, sentimentality, lust/sexual desire, sexual needs, needs, passion, infatuation, longing, joy, cheerfulness, amusement, bliss, gaiety, glee, jolliness, joviality, delight enjoyment, gladness, happiness, jubilation, elation, satisfaction, ecstasy, euphoria, zest, enthusiasm, zeal excitement, thrill, exhilaration, contentment, pleasure, pleasant pride, triumph, optimism, eagerness, hope, enthrallment, pleasant rapture, pleasant relief, pleasant surprises, pleasant amazement, and pleasant astonishment." -Antonio Myers

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“1. Don’t tell me my child will grow out of it

It’s not that I don’t want to agree with you—or even that I don’t think there are elements which he will grow out of—but as an autism mom, I spend so much of my life setting him up for success. We do therapies, food restrictions, sensory diets, chiropractic care, ABA therapy, and when you pass it off like it’s a silly phase, that just makes me feel like you think I’m overreacting. That makes me want to avoid talking about my son’s progress and struggles with you, because you so clearly do not understand the nature of his diagnosis.

2. Just let me have a bad day

You don’t always have to tell me that “even typically developing children do that.” Yes, I’m aware. As a parent of typically and atypically developing children, I am fully aware that ALL children have bad days. I am also aware that mothers get to vent to their friends about it without being corrected that the frustrating behavior is “typical.” Guess what, I’m a mom, and sometimes my struggle is not related to my son’s diagnosis. Sometimes, we’re just having a bad day, and I would like to be able to share that with a friend without being corrected and informed that said behavior is well within the “normal” range. “Normal” kids are hard sometimes, and I have my limitations. Please allow me to have a bad day.

3. Please don’t give me advice on discipline

You know how you have that one friend who has no children and always tells you, “When I have kids, I will never give them candy, and they will go to bed when they’re told, and they will pick up all of their autism toys and never talk back” and you think…”OMG, you are so clueless. I can’t believe I used to be that clueless.” That’s how I feel when you try to give me disciplinary tips for my son. Trust me…it’s not that simple. It’s just not. 4. Forgive me for talking about it so much

As much as I wish we had gotten the diagnosis, signed up for “treatment,” and then everything was business as usual, that’s not how it works. At first I cringed at how people used a title like “Autism Mom” or seemed to talk so insistently about their child’s diagnosis. In an effort to never become one of “those moms,” I was avoiding a lot of conversations and topics. But when you have a child with autism, it becomes an inseparable part of your world. Imagine if you tried to avoid implying your child’s gender in any conversation. Give it a try—you may find that it just seems to come up more than you expect. Sometimes, I may feel I need to give you a little insight into the diagnosis to help you see how big a milestone is, or how discouraging a setback may be. Sometimes I’m just telling you about my day. I know my son is more than autism. Please don’t think that I feel it defines him or that he is limited to it. It is simply a part of him and a huge part of my family, but I see him for all of his individuality and abilities. I know that he is bigger than autism and that it cannot hold him back. 5. Ask me questions

I want you to ask questions, because I know that if you better understand why my son does or doesn’t do things, you will have a greater love for him. You will have a deeper compassion, and you will better see how amazing he is. My son is so incredible. You may simply see a child who easily tantrums and doesn’t talk much, but if you asked me questions, I could explain to you why we think he isn’t speaking, and how we tried to use Picture Exchange Communication System(PECS) cards for communication, but he wasn’t interested because he developed his own communication system. I could tell you how brilliantly he communicates without saying a word. I could tell you how his stimming behavior is actually an attempt to self-regulate and how people stim all of the time: chewing fingernails, twirling hair, tapping fingers, etc.” -Autism Parenting Magazine (Janaiah von Hassel.)

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“I recently referred to myself as an "autism mom."

I honestly didn't know that could be offensive to some, but apparently it is -- like really offensive.

I was told that in calling myself an autism mom, I am implying that I "have" something that is not mine at all. Implying that I am trying to own something that belongs entirely to my son.

I think I understand... at least, I want to understand.

I never want anyone to assume that I somehow think my son's autism is about me.

It's not. His life, his body, his brain, his existence includes autism at its closest possible level. It's part of his very makeup. Good and bad. Easy and difficult. Day in and day out.

Autism is his, and his alone.

I do, however, think that parenting a child with autism is mine. Being a momma of a child with autism has its own challenges, its own rewards, its own misunderstandings, its own joy, and its own grief.

And talking about it, writing about it, being honest about it, and owning it -- that matters.

It matters for the parents who are struggling, who feel lonely, who are misunderstood every single time they speak with doctors and teachers and therapists. But even more, it matters for the children with autism diagnoses themselves. Children need to have a parent, autism or not, who is trying to understand, trying to learn, and trying to help them be uniquely them. (On a much smaller level, I think it's like calling myself a "soccer mom." I may not play soccer, but if I refer to myself as such, you know I am working to support my child in it.)

A neurotypical parent and a child with autism need to be on the same team. Moreover, neurotypical parents of children with autism need to be able to identify other parents in the same circumstances, with the same needs. We are trying to figure this out, together -- for our children. It's why I call myself an autism mom.

I think it means I am not afraid of the word "autism." I am not ashamed of the word "autism." Nor am I trying to claim any extra entitlement to it, other than this:

I think an autism momma is exactly what a child with autism needs.” -By

Shawna Wingert, HuffPost Contributor

Motherhood, special needs, and the beauty of everyday messes.

Sep 30, 2015, 02:01 PM EDT

Updated Dec 6, 2017

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“Teaching Boys Ages 12 to 18

In addition to all that is outlined above (particularly regarding media and gaming), our boys need to be taught the following in their teen years:

Teach Intimacy. Our sons should be learning about healthy relationships where people love one another and express that love in healthy, functional ways. They need to understand more than the mechanics of sex. They need to understand context and commitment. When there is no real commitment, guys think there are no feelings involved.

When we separate physical and emotional intimacy from one another, we provide fertile soil for sexual miscommunication and sexual coercion.

Teach Consent. Boys must know that they should not touch a woman without her explicit consent. They should not kiss her without her consent. They should absolutely not be intimate with her without her consent.

Our sons must understand that no means no. We should talk to our boys about scenarios where they find themselves at a party with a girl who is drunk and all over them. Is she capable of providing consent? What are the risks involved? What if she’s only a little drunk, she gives consent, and then she changes her mind even though her pants are down and so are yours? Consent is a conversation that must be had—repeatedly.

Last point on this: consent is a low bar to clear. I consent to my kids taking $50 from my wallet so they can go have fun with friends. But I don’t like it. I’d prefer it was $20. Nevertheless, I consent.

Intimacy should be about more than just, “Ok, since you really want it, and I want to prove I love you.” It should be delightful, thrilling, and emotionally satisfying. We must teach our boys to be selfless and gentle, rather than selfish and entitled.

Set Clear Boundaries Around Porn

Let your sons know that porn is off limits. Teach them why. Currently, statistics suggest 99% of boys have viewed pornography by age 15. We must turn this around.

Call Them on Sexism

When I was younger, I regularly heard jokes about how “women should get back in the kitchen” and other derogatory remarks along similar lines. It was part of being male.

Well, folks, masculinity has changed. And it needs to change more. When you catch your boys criticizing women because of their math or driving ability, or for any other gendered issue, call them on it. Let them know sexism is not cool and it is not funny.

Ultimately, regardless of everything that we say, it is what we do that makes the biggest impact on our sons’ respectfulness. What the blokes in your children’s lives do will set the scene for ongoing behavior from your sons. Surround the boys you parent or the boys at work with good men. Be a great example. Teaching Boys Ages 5 and Under

By Example. If we show respect, we will teach respect. This means we respect our children, we respect other adults, and we especially respect women. It means that we do not call girls or women names. We do not ever hit or threaten to hit girls or women. It means we listen to girls and women and respect their opinions. We don’t talk over them. We are respectful.

Speak Kindly. This is pretty basic, but at this age, it’s all it takes to show respect. Say “please” and “thank you.” Never say things like “shut-up” or “get lost” (or anything worse), whether to a child or an adult, regardless of gender. Respectful speaking teaches respect.

Be helpful. Teach boys (and all children) to recognize when someone needs help or feels lousy, and show them how to help.” -https://ifstudies.org/blog/teaching-boys-to-respect-women.

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“Special Needs Moms - A Look Inside

BY APRIL VERNON You may think us 'special moms' have it pretty rough, We have no choice. We just manage life when things get

really tough, We've made it through the days we thought we'd never make

it through,

We've even impressed our own selves with all that we can do. We've gained patience beyond measure, love we never

dreamed of giving,

We worry about the future but know this 'special' life's worth

Living, We have bad days and hurt sometimes, but hold our heads up

high, We feel joy and pride and thankfulness more often than we

cry. For our kids, we aren't just supermoms. No, we do so much

more, We are cheerleaders, nurses and therapists who don't walk

out the door, We handle rude remarks and unkind stares with dignity and

grace,

Even though the pain they bring cannot be erased. Therapies and treatment routes are a lot for us to digest, We don't know what the future holds but give our kids the

best, None of us can be replaced so we don't get many breaks,

It wears us out, but to help our kids, we'll do whatever it takes. We are selfless, not by choice, you see. Our kids just have

more needs, We're not out to change the world, but want to plant some

seeds We want our kids accepted, that really is our aim, When we look at them we just see kids, we hope you'll do the

same.”

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Three cognitive mechanisms for explaining the hostile media effect have been suggested:[15]

Selective recall refers to memory and retrieval. In instances of the hostile media effect, partisans should tend to remember more of the disconfirming portions of a message than the parts that support their position, in a variation of the negativity effect. Vallone and his colleagues observed selective recall differing along partisan lines even on simple, objective criteria such as the number of references to a given subject.[2] However, numerous studies have documented the hostile media effect even when selective recall is positive rather than negative.[9][11][15]

Selective perception refers to the process by which individuals perceive what they want to in media messages while ignoring opposing viewpoints. In instances of the hostile media effect, partisans have a heightened tendency to interpret aspects of a message as unfavorable – or hostile – as opposed to categorizations by non-partisans. In other words, selective perception is a form of bias because we interpret information in a way that is congruent with our existing values and beliefs.[2][9][15]

The different standards explanation or motivated reasoning refers to the validity of arguments. This is confirmation bias taken to the next level. It leads people to confirm what they already believe, while ignoring contrary data. But it also drives people to develop elaborate rationalizations to justify holding beliefs that logic and evidence have shown to be wrong. Motivated reasoning responds defensively to contrary evidence, actively discrediting such evidence or its source without logical or evidentiary justification. It seems to be assumed by social scientists that motivated reasoning is driven by a desire to avoid cognitive dissonance. It suggests that reason partisans are so prone to see an unbiased message in a hostile light is because of the strength of the favorable argument they have built in their minds over time. Rather than seeing confirmation bias as an opposite force of hostile media effect, the different standards explanation sees it as a contributing force. As Vallone et al. noted in the seminal study:

Partisans who have consistently processed facts and arguments in light of their preconceptions and prejudices [...] are bound to believe that the preponderance of reliable, pertinent evidence favors their viewpoint. Accordingly, to the extent that the small sample of evidence and argument featured in a media presentation seems unrepresentative of this larger "population" of information, perceivers will charge bias in the presentation and will be likely to infer hostility and bias on the part of those responsible for it.[16]

It is important to note that these criteria allow for specific measures beyond subjective generalizations about the media coverage as a whole, such as what might be expressed as "I thought that the news has been generally biased against this side of the issue." The research suggests the hostile media effect is not just a difference of opinion but a difference of perception (selective perception).” -https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hostile_media_effect.

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“How do I know if my work-life balance is unhealthy?

It can be easy to normalise working long hours or being under extreme stress, especially if we’ve been doing it for a long time or all our colleagues are in the same boat. Our assumptions and habits around work can become deep-rooted unless we take a step back once in a while.

It’s not always possible to make changes at work: if you’re on a zero-hours contract, you might not feel comfortable speaking up, for instance, or you might need to work long hours to earn enough money to pay your bills. But for those who can make changes, recent research, Work-life balance is a cycle, not an achievement, suggests regularly checking your work-life balance by following five steps.

Pause. Ask yourself: what’s currently causing me stress or unhappiness? How is that affecting my work and personal life? What am I prioritising? What am I losing out on? We often don’t take the time to reflect on work until there’s a major life event, such as the birth of a child or the loss of someone close to us. But just pausing and thinking about your priorities can help you discover whether the way you’re living and working is right for you

Pay attention to your feelings. Now you’re more aware of your current situation, how does it make you feel? Are you fulfilled and happy or angry and resentful? Being aware of your feelings can help you decide which changes you want to make

Reprioritise. Think about what needs to change. For example, you might want to ask yourself if working long hours is worth losing out on family time or whether working weekends is worth losing out on your social life

Consider your alternatives. Is there anything at work you can change to meet your new priorities?

Make changes. Maybe that’s asking for flexible hours, making sure you use all your annual leave or not checking your emails at the weekend, for example.” -https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/work-life-balance

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