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“Feminist Porn As An Ideal

If we think of feminist porn as a political ideal, we might talk about pornography that reflects certain beliefs. Feminism has traditionally been about seeking equality between the sexes and breaking down patriarchy. Porn can reflect that by depicting female agency and female pleasure, assuming an equality between sexual partners without any assumption that the sex should involve sexist roles or behaviour. Feminist porn seeks to show enthusiastic consent and a belief that sex is ultimately a positive thing. Ultimately, one might argue that it aims to subvert the usual tropes of mainstream porn that tends to centre the white, straight male gaze. The concept of the “female gaze” – while difficult in itself to define – has long been part of the discussion.

Feminist porn ideology also embraces a wider, intersectional definition of feminism, giving space the pespectives of queer, trans, non-binary people and people of colour, embracing body positivity and fighting against racism, ablism, homophobia, transphobia and sex work stigma through the positive depiction of different sexualities and experiences.” “Why does it matter?

Every parent wants their child or children to be safe. Beyond safety, parents wish for their children to grow up healthy and thrive. What does that have to do with talking to our kids about sex, sexuality, gender, and relationships? A whole lot, in fact!

Some of the many purposes of being a sex positive parent is to protect our kids, equip them with the information they need to thrive, and then nurture their resiliency and promote positive self-image.

There is a lot of evidence on the urgent need for quality sexuality education (“sex-ed”) in the home (and in schools) and its positive impacts. Becoming a trusted source of information and support to our children matters a whole lot.” “Sex positive parenting is teaching — in age and developmentally appropriate ways – that learning about bodies, relationships, and , eventually, sexuality is a natural, normal, and healthy part of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.”

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“Sex negative examples

Sex negativity is everywhere, and it’s easy to internalize. But it’s important to notice when it pops up so you can stop it in its tracks.

How can you tell if you or someone you know is sex-negative? Obvious and subtle signs of sex negativity may include:

using STIs or sexualities as punchlines (think: asking if someone’s rash is herpes or calling someone “gay” as a joke)

assuming anything that’s not heteronormative is a sign of a mental health condition

believing anal sex is only for people who identify as gay

“slut shaming” women (or shaming anyone engaging in consensual sexual behavior)

victim-blaming for sexual assault

advocating for punishment or violence toward sex workers or LGBTQIA+ people

considering sex and sexuality to be “dirty,” “sinful,” or other negative adjectives

referring to heterosexuality and being cisgender as “normal,” “natural,” or “regular”

making negative comments about another person’s body, partner, style, or identity.”

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“For these rapists, there is a sexual association with various concepts, has always shown aggression and the infliction of pain is eroticized. For this rapist, sexual excitement is associated with the causing of suffering upon their victim. The offender finds the intentional maltreatment of their victim intensely gratifying and takes pleasure in the victim's torment, anguish, distress, helplessness, and suffering;[4] the offender finds the victim's struggling an erotic experience.

Sadistic rape usually involves extensive, prolonged torture and restraint. Sometimes, it can take on ritualistic or other bizarre qualities. The rapist may use some type of instrument or a foreign object to penetrate their victim. Sexual areas of the victim's body become a specific focus of injury or abuse.

The sadistic rapist's assaults are calculated. They will often wear a disguise or will blindfold their victims.[4] Prostitutes or other individuals whom they perceive to be "promiscuous" are often the sadistic rapist's targets. The victims of a sadistic rapist may not survive the attack. For some offenders, the ultimate satisfaction is gained from murdering the victim.[2] The so-called "power rapist" is preoccupied with a fixed sexual fantasy that they try to act out in the rape, such as a fantasy in which they force a victim to have sex, and they then fall in love with them. These are the least aggressive of rapists, and are the most likely to flee if the victim puts up a strong resistance.

"Vindictive rapists" commit physically harmful assaults and with the intent to degrade and humiliate the victim.

"Anger rapists" are motivated by anger at the world at large; these are likely to inflict the most physical damage on their victims. These rapists tend to have a long history of violent crime of all sorts.

Some are sexual sadists who enjoy the victim's pain and fear.[1] As mentioned above, when differing acts of rape are defined and typified, whether by popular convention, research of the subject, or otherwise, the results are often neither exclusive nor exhaustive in scope. Some instances may fit two or more definitions, while others may remain as yet undefined. One example of this are the following sub-classifications created by American researcher Patricia Rozee:[44][45]

exchange rape - rape occurring as the result of bargaining

punitive rape - rape used to punish or discipline

theft rape - rape that happens when a woman or man is abducted, in most cases to be used as a slave or a prostitute

ceremonial rape - rape involving defloration rituals

status rape - rape resulting from differences in hierarchy or social class

Where they are not already typed above, many of these otherwise distinct forms could equally apply to other classifications (e.g. prison rape that is also punitive rape, war rape that is also theft rape, etc.)” I am a sexual sadist survivor. I am so glad that I walked away from over 45,000 denominations of theological confusion also known as petty squabbling over Biblical interpretations. I am so glad that I walked away from a world that is a safe place for human parasites. I am so glad that I walked away from religious media outlets that have Trump supporters for program hosts on them. I am also so glad that I walked away from a world that pretends that both pastoral suicides and pew suicides are non-existent.

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“There is no rational justification to jail, torture, kill, discriminate against, or deny the equal legal and civil rights of people because of their sexual orientation. Full stop. Although it has taken us thousands of years to get to this obvious point, no thanks to the world’s homophobic holy scriptures, and although social justice for homosexuals is still not fully realized throughout much of the world, the data show that, when it comes to supporting equal rights for and acceptance of homosexuality, the more secular people lean toward the more moral, compassionate, and rational side of the issue, while the more religious lean toward the more immoral, hateful, and irrational side. For example, according to a national Pew study, while only 70% of Catholics, 51% of Black Protestants, 45% of Muslims, 36% of Evangelicals and Mormons, and 16% of Jehovah’s Witnesses are accepting of homosexuality, 83% of secular Americans are. Another study found that while only 45% of Catholics, 38% of mainline Protestants, and 19% of Evangelicals strongly agree that homosexuals should have the right to marry each other, 67% of secular Americans hold this position.

Closely related: women’s equal rights. Should women be allowed to pursue the same educational, professional, and leisure pursuits as men if they so choose? Should women earn the same pay for the same work? Be allowed to vote? Be allowed to work outside the home? Of course. Again: both reason and empathy dictate such a feminist/humanist position. And while many religious people agree with secular people on this matter, the fact remains that the more religious are the least supportive of women’s rights, while the more secular are the most supportive. Additionally, studies have found that atheists and agnostics are far more likely to believe women’s claims of sexual assault than religious people, who are much more likely to think rape claims are lies.

As for transgender rights: Should people whose gender identity does not align with their birth sex, and who take the courageous step of aligning these two, be afforded the same dignity and rights as others? To the more secular, the answer is much more likely to be “yes,” while to the more religious, “no.”

How about race and ethnicity? In study after study, and on measure after measure, the more secular exhibit the lowest levels of racism and favor enacting more deliberate, effective steps towards achieving racial equality and justice than people who are more religious. (African Americans are an obvious exception, tending to be both highly religious and also highly supportive of correctives to racism.) According to data presented by Professor and Pastor Ryan Burge—and again, aside from African Americans—atheists and agnostics are most likely to agree that racial problems are systemic and common; secular people are among those most likely to strongly agree that white people have unearned advantages; and atheists and agnostics are the least likely to blame African Americans for their higher than average rates of poverty and unemployment. Other studies have found that secular people are far more supportive of the Black Lives Matter movement.”

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“Amatonormativity is the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship. Elizabeth Brake coined the neologism to capture societal assumptions about romance.[1][2] Brake wanted to describe the pressure she received by many to prioritize marriage in her own life when she did not want to. Amatonormativity extends beyond social pressures for marriage to include general pressures involving romance.[2][3] The word amatonormativity comes from amatus, which is the Latin word for "loved", and normativity, referring to societal norms.[4][1] Another word which is similarly related to the word amatonormativity is amative. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word amative as: strongly moved by love and especially sexual love. Relating to or indicative of love. Amorous is a closely related word also derived from amatus.[5] Related terms include allonormativity, which means a worldview that assumes all people experience sexual and romantic attraction, and compulsory sexuality, which means social norms and practices that marginalizes non-sexuality.[6]

The term was modeled after the term heteronormativity, the belief that heterosexuality is the default for sexual orientation.[7] Elizabeth Brake describes the term as a pressure or desire for monogamy, romance, and/or marriage. The desire to find relationships that are romantic, sexual, monogamous, and lifelong has many social consequences. People who are asexual, aromantic, and/or nonmonogamous become social oddities. According to researcher Bella DePaulo, it puts a stigma on single people as incomplete and pushes romantic partners to stay in unhealthy relationships because of a fear the partners may have of being single.[8][1]

According to Brake, one way in which amatonormativity is institutionally applied is the law and morality surrounding marriage. Loving friendships, queerplatonic, and other relationships are not given the same legal protections romantic partners are given through marriage.[9]

Brake wrote a book, Minimizing Marriage, in which she defines amatonormativity as "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship."[10]”

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“DSM

The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists the following sexual dysfunctions:

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (see also asexuality, which is not classified as a disorder)

Sexual aversion disorder (avoidance of or lack of desire for sexual intercourse)[54][55]

Female sexual arousal disorder (failure of normal lubricating arousal response)[56]

Male erectile disorder

Female orgasmic disorder (see anorgasmia)[57]

Male orgasmic disorder (see anorgasmia)[58]

Premature ejaculation

Dyspareunia

Vaginismus

Additional DSM sexual disorders that are not sexual dysfunctions include:

Paraphilias

PTSD due to genital mutilation or childhood sexual abuse

Other sexual problems

Sexual dissatisfaction (non-specific)

Lack of sexual desire

Anorgasmia

Impotence

Sexually transmitted diseases

Delay or absence of ejaculation, despite adequate stimulation

Inability to control timing of ejaculation

Inability to relax vaginal muscles enough to allow intercourse

Inadequate vaginal lubrication preceding and during intercourse

Burning pain on the vulva or in the vagina with contact to those areas

Unhappiness or confusion related to sexual orientation

Transsexual and transgender people may have sexual problems before or after surgery.

Persistent sexual arousal syndrome

Sexual addiction

Hypersexuality

All forms of female genital cutting

Post-orgasmic diseases, such as Dhat syndrome, PCT, POIS, and sexual headaches.” When I say secular establishments, I mean organizations that claim to cater to all kinds of people but are quiet about their pain.

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“A hate group is a social group that advocates and practices hatred, hostility, or violence towards members of a race, ethnicity, nation, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, or any other designated sector of society. According to the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), a hate group's "primary purpose is to promote animosity, hostility, and malice against persons belonging to a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, or ethnicity/national origin which differs from that of the members of the organization."[1]

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“Moderation is the process or trait of eliminating, lessening, or avoiding extremes. It is used to ensure normality throughout the medium on which it is being conducted. A moderate lifestyle is a lifestyle where everything you have, do, take, etc. are in the right quantities. Moderation is when you control and quantize the things you do in life so that you can live healthily and sustainably. In short, it's trying to find the middle ground in life.”

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“A humanist celebrant or humanist officiant is a person who performs humanist celebrancy services, such as non-religious weddings, funerals, child namings, coming of age ceremonies and other rituals. Some humanist celebrants are accredited by humanist organisations, such as Humanists UK, Humanist Society Scotland (HSS), The Humanist Society (US), and the Humanist Association of Canada (HAC). Typically, a Humanist Chaplain works within an organisation, and within that organisation provides a Humanist perspective for those who want it. That can be anybody who just wants a friendly chat, education about Humanism, or discuss more difficult issues. Humanists have a positive outlook on life, guided by rational thought and focus on the importance of human cooperation and compassion for solving problems.” I will make the proper referrals when I need to in areas of resources.

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“Coaching is a form of development in which an experienced person, called a coach, supports a learner or client in achieving a specific personal or professional goal by providing training and guidance.[1] The learner is sometimes called a coachee. Occasionally, coaching may mean an informal relationship between two people, of whom one has more experience and expertise than the other and offers advice and guidance as the latter learns; but coaching differs from mentoring by focusing on specific tasks or objectives, as opposed to more general goals or overall development.[1][2][3].”

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