In this powerful episode of Top Self, Shanenn Bryant delivers something your inner child may have never received: acknowledgment, validation, and the words you needed most. 

This episode is a gentle but honest space for anyone who grew up feeling unseen, unprotected, or responsible for everyone else’s emotions.

Shanenn talks about how childhood trauma—whether loud or silent—gets stored in the body and shapes adult patterns. Through reflections on her own healing journey and a moving message written as a voice of apology from the caregiver you never had, this episode offers a path to release, reframe, and reclaim your power.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• “You’re not born with trauma—you inherit patterns through what you witnessed, heard, and experienced.”
• “It’s not about blame. It’s about the chain—and you might be the first brave one to break it.”
• “You don’t need their permission to heal. You just needed to be seen.”
• “This isn’t who you are—it’s who you became. And you can become something new.”
• “If you’ve been waiting for an apology, this is it.”

🔑 Key Moments:

• 1:45 – Trigger warning and who this episode is for
• 3:00 – “This is not who you are—it’s who you became”
• 5:20 – What trauma really is: the unseen, unfelt, unprocessed
• 6:40 – It’s not about blame—it’s about breaking the chain
• 9:15 – Generational trauma: how pain becomes parenting
• 11:30 – The ACEs test and its lifelong impact
• 14:00 – “You don’t need an apology to heal—but here’s one anyway”
• 15:00–21:00 – A powerful reading of the apology you never received

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 20: Interview with Candace Alley on the ACEs Test & Trauma
• ACEs Test – Adverse Childhood Experiences
• Learn more about coaching and upcoming programs at Top Self website

📌 Quote of the Episode:

"You don’t need their permission to heal anymore. You just needed to be seen—to finally hear, ‘I’m sorry.’ And now you have." – Shanenn Bryant

🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Grew up with emotional neglect, instability, or high expectations
• Feel guilt around acknowledging childhood pain
• Want to understand how trauma shows up in adult relationships
• Are learning to reparent themselves and break generational cycles
• Are seeking healing without waiting for an apology that may never come

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

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In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn gets deeply personal, sharing the origin of the podcast and a powerful realization about the hidden shame many people carry from their childhoods. If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide how you grew up—because of addiction, dysfunction, or chaos—this episode is a must-listen.

She shares the moment she realized she wasn’t alone in her struggles with jealousy and insecurity, and how our pasts—when left unspoken—can quietly sabotage our relationships and self-worth.

This isn’t just about healing from jealousy. It’s about learning to release the shame of your story so you can show up as your full, authentic self.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Shame about your past doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you—it means you’re human.
• You’re not alone in still being affected by how you grew up.
• Confidence begins where the old story ends.
• Letting go of shame starts with being honest—with yourself.
• You don’t owe your story to everyone, but you deserve not to carry it alone.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 1:00 – How the podcast was born from a talk on growing up with an alcoholic parent
• 4:45 – The shift from “Jealousy Junkie” to “Top Self” and why that mattered
• 6:30 – A listener’s message about struggling to make friends as an adult
• 9:50 – Why hiding your past isn’t protecting you—it’s suffocating you
• 13:00 – How your upbringing may still be impacting your self-worth and relationships
• 16:00 – Shanenn’s personal journey of reconnecting with her father
• 21:00 – The surprising story she’s not ashamed to tell—and what that reveals about internalized shame
• 22:50 – A powerful reminder: you don’t owe anyone your story, but you do owe yourself relief

🧠 Perfect for listeners who:

• Grew up in a chaotic, addicted, or dysfunctional environment
• Still carry shame about their upbringing—even as successful adults
• Struggle to be vulnerable or build close friendships
• Want to understand how childhood experiences shape adult relationships
• Are ready to rewrite the story they’ve been carrying

📌 Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Learn how to break free from insecurity, jealousy, and people-pleasing.
• [Link to register]
• Free Discovery Call with Shanenn – Coaching for women ready to stop hiding and start healing.
• [Link to schedule]

🧭 Quote of the Episode:

“You don’t owe

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Book your FREE Discovery Call

Ever started pulling away just when things got good? If calm, consistent love feels boring—or even threatening—you’re not broken. You’re human.

In this episode, Shanenn explores why “safe” love can trigger your nervous system, especially if you grew up in chaos or experienced emotionally unpredictable relationships. You’ll learn:

• Why peace can feel like a red flag to a dysregulated nervous system
• The hidden link between chaos and connection
• Subtle ways we sabotage healthy love without realizing it
• A powerful affirmation to ground yourself when you’re spiraling
• How to begin rewiring your system to trust calm instead of rejecting it

If you’re ready to stop pushing away the love you crave, this episode is for you.

💎 Golden Nugget: “Peace isn’t the problem. My pattern is.”

Timestamps:

• 1:15 – Why calm triggers fear in a chaos-wired nervous system
• 3:00 – How your past relationships shaped your patterns
• 6:30 – A real-life story (with a German Shepherd!) that explains stored trauma
• 10:40 – Signs of self-sabotage when things feel “too good”
• 12:50 – Tools to rewire your nervous system for trust
• 15:40 – The mantra that can change everything

Resources & Links:

📄 Free Download: 5 Signs You’re Subconsciously Sabotaging

📞 Book a Free Discovery Call with Shanenn

🔗 Follow Shanenn on Instagram: @topselfco

Loved this episode? Leave a 5-star review—it helps others find healing too. 💚

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Book Your FREE Discovery Call With Shanenn

Watch on my Youtube Channel here

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn welcomes tapping expert Amy Vincze to explore how tapping can help release jealousy, insecurity, and emotional triggers. With over 17 years of experience, Amy shares how she went from skeptic to certified coach—using tapping to navigate personal trauma, anxiety, and even breast cancer recovery.

This isn’t just theory. Amy walks listeners through the science of tapping, the emotional patterns that fuel insecurity, and a powerful guided tapping session to help you shift from emotional reactivity to grounded self-worth.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by jealousy or struggled to manage emotional overwhelm in relationships, this episode is a must-listen.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎  You can’t heal what you’re afraid to feel

💎  Jealousy and insecurity are symptoms—not the root problem

💎  Tapping helps regulate the nervous system and release stored trauma

💎  Emotional honesty is a gateway to confidence and connection

💎  Healing is an inside job—and tapping gives you the tools to do it

Key Moments:

·       1:30 – Why most of us avoid uncomfortable emotions and why that’s a problem

·       4:45 – Amy’s backstory with tapping and how trauma triggered transformation

·       10:15 – How emotional energy gets trapped in the body

·       14:30 – The neuroscience of tapping and what happens in the brain during a session

·       20:00 – A full guided tapping session focused on jealousy and insecurity

·       34:10 – The real goal of tapping (hint: it’s not to be positive all the time)

·       38:00 – How to create your own tapping practice without overthinking it

About Our Guest:

Amy Vincze is the founder of SOAR with Tapping and a certified Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner. She combines energy therapy, cognitive techniques, and somatic work to help people process emotional triggers and build resilience. Her mission is to make tapping accessible for anyone ready to break emotional patterns and reclaim their peace.

Resources Mentioned:

• SOAR with Tapping by Amy Vincze:  

Quote of the Episode:

“You can’t release what you refuse to feel—and tapping helps you face it with compassion.” – Amy Vincze

Perfect for listeners who:

·       Feel consumed by jealousy or insecurity in their relationships

·       Want a practical way to manage emotional triggers

·       Are curious about tapping but unsure where to start

·       Are tir

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Book your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.

🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you.

Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Distance Dependent, and Emotionally Equipped. You’ll learn how to recognize where you are, why each stage feels the way it does, and how to move forward with more self-trust and less shame.

This is your roadmap out of relationship anxiety and into emotional strength.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 2:00 – The High Alert stage: spiraling thoughts, hypervigilance, and the toll on your nervous system
• 10:00 – Breaking out of unhealthy validation habits using the Think-Do-Say framework
• 17:00 – The Distance Dependent stage: calm on the surface, but still triggered by what you see
• 23:00 – Using self-focus and small wins to rewire your emotional patterns
• 28:00 – The Emotionally Equipped stage: meeting your own needs without over-relying on your partner
• 31:00 – How to bounce back after a setback without shame or spirals

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy isn’t just emotional—it becomes physical stress if left unchecked
• The Think-Do-Say model helps break compulsive habits by replacing them with conscious choices
• You can stop checking the phone without stopping all the habits—just start with one
• Self-validation is the gateway to emotional safety
• You don’t need your partner to fix your jealousy—you need tools to manage your emotional responses

❤️ Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy or insecure thoughts in their relationship
• Are trying to stop spiraling and start self-soothing
• Want practical, non-judgmental tools for emotional growth
• Are ready to take their healing seriously but with compassion
• Crave deeper connection—without losing themselves

✍️ Leave a review and let us know—what stage do you see yourself in right now? And what’s one habit you’re working to change?

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.

Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system

💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought

💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool

💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought

💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understanding

Key Moments:

• 3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)
• 7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing
• 10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts
• 15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner
• 19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.
• 24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again
• 27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safe

Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th.  Register here
• Watch THIS episode on YouTube 
• Shanenn's new podcast:
  • On Apple Lead Without Limits
  • On YouTube Lead Without Limits

Quote of the Episode:

“When your body feels safe, your brain can finally tell the truth.”

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”
• Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seeking
• Want to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationship
• Are ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safety
• Are doing the deep work

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance.

From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy.

If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought habits secretly draining you and how to replace them with empowering defaults.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You are not your thoughts—your brain’s habits can be rewired

💎 Resentment is a neon sign flashing: “Missing boundary here”

💎 “I should” and “I have to” are energy leaks disguised as productivity

💎 Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s what shows up after you act

💎 Your natural genius is the thing that feels easy to you but amazes others

Key Moments:

· 3:45 – Why 80% of our thoughts are subconscious (and how to catch the unhealthy ones)

· 7:10 – The “value vs. performance” hand exercise that could change how you see yourself

· 12:50 – What resentment actually means (hint: it’s a missing boundary)

· 15:00 – The 3 most common toxic thought habits women carry

· 21:40 – The Resentment Audit: a practical way to uncover unspoken needs

· 25:15 – How to find your “natural genius” and stop undervaluing your gifts

About Our Guest:

Amy Kemp is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More. Her work helps women reprogram limiting thought habits so they can stop second-guessing themselves and start living and leading with clarity and energy.

Take her free Habit Finder assessment to discover your subconscious thought patterns and how to shift them at www.amykemp.com.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Habit Finder Assessment – Free at amykemp.com
• I See You by Amy Kemp – available on Amazon, Audible, and Bookshop.org

Quote of the Episode:

“Every time you feel resentment, imagine a neon sign flashing ‘Missing Boundary’—because your energy is trying to tell you something.” – Amy Kemp

Perfect for listeners who:

· Constantly feel like they “should be doing more”

· Struggle with people-pleasing, burnout, or overthinking

· Want to break free from perfectionism and performative self-worth

· Are ready to understand their energy leaks and reclaim peace

· Are looking to rediscover their identity beyond roles and titles

📝 Lea

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with clinical psychologist and gratitude expert Dr. Peggy DeLong known as The Gratitude Psychologist to explore how gratitude can be a lifeline in life’s hardest seasons.

Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, Peggy shares the science and soul behind why gratitude is most powerful on your worst days not your best. From the moment she found comfort in a cup of hazelnut coffee while sitting at her fiancé’s deathbed, to her 5-minute daily gratitude practice, this episode is packed with perspective shifts that can change the way you cope, connect, and heal.

If you’ve ever thought “I know I should be grateful, but I just can’t right now,” this conversation is for you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💡 Gratitude is most impactful in pain—not after it

💡 Saying “thank you” aloud triggers positive brain chemicals (dopamine + serotonin)

💡 You can’t feel anxious and grateful at the same time—gratitude interrupts worry

💡 Gratitude letters benefit your mood, even if you don’t send them

💡 Emotional pain always reveals a value—use that value to move forward

🔑 Key Moments:

• 3:30 – How a simple cup of coffee helped Peggy survive loss
• 7:15 – Why saying “thank you” aloud changes your brain chemistry
• 10:00 – The Reticular Activating System and how it filters what you notice
• 13:00 – The most important gratitude habit for improving mental health
• 18:00 – Gratitude letters: why they benefit the writer more than the recipient
• 20:00 – Using pain as a trigger to practice gratitude
• 24:30 – How gratitude can significantly improve your sleep
• 26:40 – The link between gratitude, resilience, and rewiring your brain

👩‍⚕️ About Our Guest:

Dr. Peggy DeLong is a licensed psychologist, speaker, author, and founder of the Feeling Good Institute. Known as “The Gratitude Psychologist,” she teaches people how to cultivate joy, emotional resilience, and well-being through the power of gratitude and positive psychology. Her programs, books, and workshops are designed to make science-backed tools feel simple and accessible for anyone—especially during difficult times.

Learn more at www.peggydelong.com

Follow her on Instagram: @drpeggydelong

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Peggy’s Book: Feel the Good
• Her Signature Program: The Gratitude Experience

🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Struggle with

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life.

Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace.

Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and outdated narratives helps you build emotional security, deeper relationships, and a more grounded sense of self-worth.

From the fear behind obsessive thoughts to the healing power of self-forgiveness, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop spiraling—and start feeling free.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 We obsess to feel in control—but it keeps us stuck in fear.

💎 Letting go of the past isn’t forgetting—it’s releasing your grip on pain.

💎 Control shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overthinking.

💎 True intimacy starts when we stop trying to manage the outcome.

💎 You can’t build a secure relationship without building self-trust first.

🔑 Key Moments:

· 3:00 – The 10 invisible attachments that are silently running your life

· 6:45 – How childhood wounds show up in your adult relationships

· 8:50 – Why control and perfection are actually fear-based addictions

· 12:10 – How to stay connected to your partner without getting consumed

· 16:00 – The real reason self-love is essential to relationship security

· 21:00 – What “obsessive thoughts” are trying to do—and how to break the loop

· 24:50 – Bob’s personal battle with addiction, and how he finally let go

· 29:00 – The success myth: why achievements won’t heal your insecurity

· 32:00 – Why we fear aging—and how to detach from youth-based worth

· 35:00 – How to take Bob’s Attachment Assessment and start your own healing

👤 About Our Guest:

Bob Rosen is a psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control, and Peace. With decades of experience coaching Fortune 500 CEOs, Bob brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western psychology to help people release mental baggage and reclaim their peace.

He shares not only client stories but his own powerful personal journey—including his recovery from opiate addiction and perfectionism—and how letting go gave him his life back.

📍 Find Bob’s book, take the Attachment Assessment, or download his Book Club Kit at: www.bobrosen.com

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control and Peace

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism.
 
Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead.
 
From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.

Key Moments:

·       2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect

·       6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need

·       12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say

·       20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”

·       29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner’s silence

·       38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that’ll test your jealousy triggers

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎  Criticism is often a shield for unspoken fear or vulnerability

💎  Most people don’t sign up for unsolicited feedback in their relationships

💎  Turning a complaint into a request helps your partner want to meet your needs

💎  You can feel connected and secure—even in uncertain moments

💎  When you reveal your “real” feeling, your partner is more likely to show up for you

About Our Guest:

Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the Empowered Relationship podcast. She helps couples break out of reactive patterns and build deeper emotional intimacy. Her work blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help couples thrive.
 
Her free guide, “Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication,” offers powerful real-life examples to help you reframe common communication pitfalls and start getting your needs met—without pushing your partner away.

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Guide: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication (www.drjessicahiggins.com)

• The Gottman Institute’s Research on Criticism & the “Four Horsemen”

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Register for the upcoming Bootcamp

Quote of the Episode:

“If I turn any complaint into a request or a reveal, I give my partner a chance to actually show up for me.” – Dr. Jessica Higgins

Perfect for listeners who:

·       Criticize out of habit—and want a better way to be heard

·       Struggle with jealousy, control, or emotional reactivity

·       Want to feel more seen

Register for the Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp today

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.