In a time when everyone feels bold enough to label and write-off those who don’t show up the way that they want or need them to, it’s important to question whether this approach to mental health and relationships solves any problems, or do they just create new ones.

We’ve grown lethargic in our efforts to understand others because we’re mostly focused, and the mainstream narratives hugely promote this thinking, on how others treat us, but rarely on how we treat them.

As always, we judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their behaviour. When we’re called out for our behaviour, we defend our intentions, but when they defend their intentions, they become narcissists or gas-lighters.

Something is horribly wrong with this picture.

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A relationship is the outcome of the two individuals in it. If there is something that either person doesn’t like about the relationship, they need to understand how their combined contribution, especially their own, is enabling or sustaining the problem that they would like to resolve.

Only then do we have a chance to effectively work through the problem without creating new problems in the process.

Understanding what you’re paying forward from your past experiences will give you an awareness that can truly transform the quality of your relationships with your significant others.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com

While all my episodes are unscripted and impromptu, this one is particularly so. I set out without any specific topic in mind, similar to how I once used to blog, and just let the words flow relative to what was occupying the most heart space.

It touches on my reasons for challenging the mainstream narratives about being human, and it unpacks how we lose our agency, and ourselves, to what becomes our obsession about how others show up for us.

It was an indulgence in introspection that I hope will prompt some valuable introspection within you too.

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This interview was conducted by Gouwah Solomon on Hilaal TV, a local community TV station available on satellite networks and YouTube.

While the context within which the discussion happens is that of Muslim life, the themes and points raised are universal.

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We’ve been told for so long that anger is an emotion, and that we must manage our anger, that we’ve grown to believe this to be true.

What if anger isn’t an emotion in itself, but is in fact a reaction to an emotional experience that we need to express?

In this episode, I unpack the underlying contributing factors towards anger which, if understood, gives us a much greater chance of being able to rise above our anger while improving our ability to express ourselves more effectively.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com

What is our understanding of love was distorted by societal or cultural norms that convinced us that infatuation, lust, or even servitude is what love is about?

When we take such distortions and turn it into our philosophy of what unconditional love should look like, we create opportunity for abuse and betrayal for all the wrong reasons.

Listen in on this episode to )hopefully) get a fresh and healthier perspective of how to achieve that elusive love that you’ve been dreaming of your whole life.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com

We decide what we think we are capable of long before we set out to achieve what we want.

Everything from our dreams to our short term goals are all massively influenced by what we think we have a chance of achieving, rather than whether we think it is important to achieve.

That sense of self, or that belief in what we are capable of is what sets the tone for how we react to the expectations that others have of us.

Discover how this potential blind spot may be undermining the very goals of your life while you go about trying to cope with what you think is preventing you from achieving them.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com

Believing that the universe is waiting to serve you is no different to believing that the world revolves around you.

It is our conscious and deliberate effort at exercising our agency as human beings that meaningfully contribute towards the desired outcomes of our lives.

The moment we lose sight of this, we slip into a victim mindset and succumb to the weight of expectations and failures, trying to cope, instead of trying to overcome.

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This is one of those topics where I am reminded that pervasive ignorance is not collective wisdom.

The basis on which contemporary methods and modalities have been developed is inspired by a distortion of what we believe to be human nature. Secular thinking about human traits have deprived us of our humanness while promising us fulfilment.

Instead, all it has done is given us hyper-individuality with horribly fractured social structures to the point of an almost total erosion of the family unit. This challenges our most basic of needs to belong and be significant in a social hierarchy that feels fulfilling and significant.

In this episode, I unpack why our thinking around therapy, counselling, and even coaching needs to change if we hope to overcome the massive social ills that seem to be worsening each day.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com

Purpose is always defined as some mystical goal of spirituality or service to humanity in a broader context of life. I disagree with that take because it doesn’t give me something tangible to connect with.

In this episode, I explore our relationship with purpose and how it is pervasive in every experience in life, especially our emotional experiences.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coachzaidismail.substack.com