Toxic

Is it hot in here or is it just us? If you're in the throes of perimenopause, you're going to feel right at home in this episode. As ladies of our mid-40s, we have to talk about this. Disclaimer: This is NOT a medical advice podcast.

Thanks to overt sexism within medical research fields, most health research funds are allotted to study diseases that affect men, or how diseases that affect both sexes mostly affect men.

The National Institutes of Health found that diseases, ailments and conditions that affect men receive twice as much funding as those affecting women. Therefore, it would be correct to say scientists are spending much more time and resources studying erectile dysfunction than perimenopause or menopause, leaving women woefully unprepared and under-resourced for this major life change.

How do we deal with that? Well, we're resourceful as always, aren't we ladies? We turn to crowd-sourcing solutions like TikTok and Facebook groups and happy hours. Which means we wind up with a slew of solutions like yam cream, red light therapy, eating more kiwis and drinking mushroom coffee. Will any of it help? Who knows! We'll try it anyhow because dammit, we want to look like we're aging gracefully while also biohacking our faces.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story. (We also have some sweet merch!)

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend (or maybe a frenemy?), your eyebrow waxer, your petsitter or really, anyone you want. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media and please consider leaving us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

In the '70s, a charismatic minister named Jim Jones convinced thousands of followers of his Peoples Temple that he was for them, moving them from the U.S. where he was being investigated for running a cult (lol, nothing to see here) to an agricultural commune in Guyana under the auspice that he was "creating a paradise free from the oppression of the U.S. government."

Oh, and also, they had to call him dad, maybe sleep with him and never, ever leave unless they wanted to be shot.

But that's neither here nor there. He was FOR them, you guys. Of course, if you know anything about Jonestown, you know this didn't end well for 909 of them.

You'll never believe this, but the markers of Jim Jones—a guy who loved Hitler, schmoozing with politicians and exerting power over others—have a lot of overlap with our current RPOTUS (that would be rapist president of the United States).

In this episode, we welcome back—Dr. Janja Lalich, CEO of the Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion and foremost international expert on cults to answer our is-half-the-country-in-a-cult? questions.

She also recommended a book that we're going to recommend to you: The Brainwashing of My Dad: How the Rise of the Right-Wing Media Changed a Father and Divided Our Nation—And How We Can Fight Back, by Jen Senko.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your gyno, or even the person next to you in line voting for Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate Susan Crawford.

Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

In another disturbing case of women's safety being not at all a priority, a man in Minneapolis turned images of some 80 women he sort-of-but-not-really-knew into graphic p*rn. When his WIFE found out, he fled town with his laptop in hand, probably to infiltrate a new town with his predator ways. Police threw their hands up and said, "Uh, we don't know what you want us to do. Is this illegal?" Turns out, it is and it isn't. One of the victims talks to Toxic about how she's using her law background to help make sure future women get the justice they deserve against gross men who can't literally make everything in the world about getting off.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Lyft driver, or even the person next to you in line at your next protest for women's rights. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and please leave us a [nice] review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

Abusers know the routine: First, present yourself as a savior. Promise a romanticized, idyllic version of the future. Earn trust. Then, isolate. "It's the world against us, baby." Brainwash. "Don't trust anyone but me." And finally, control at such a dizzying speed that the victim can't make heads or tails of it all. What is real? Am I in danger? How do I get out of this?

Hey, look at that, it's Trump, America's abusive husband. In just under 30 days since he and his BFF Elon Musk invaded the White House, we're in full oligarchy mode. This is not a drill. Call it a coup, call it a dictatorship or just call it the most embarrassing time of U.S. history unfolding before our eyes.

Today we're talking about Trump's dizzying array of executive orders, declarations, hirings and firings, which are all just a distraction technique. An appetizer round if you will.

We need to discuss why it's important we don't give up, put our heads in the sand and shut down our ear holes. Because that's what he's hoping will happen.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dog sitter, or the anxious person next to you in the TSA line. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

Patrisha McLean survived nearly three decades of abuse by her [unfortunately still] famous ex, Don McLean, singer of "American Pie." Once free, though Don tried his best to discredit her in the media (sound familiar?), she started her own nonprofit to help other survivors of violence, aptly named, Finding Our Voices. It's been working on taking down abusive a-holes ever since, and we love her for it. She joins us today on Toxic to tell us more about it.

(Apologies in advance for the sound issues in this episode. Amanda was having issues with her microphone.)

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

Trump "Tiny Hands" was sworn into the highest office in the land yesterday, leaving us all asking, "But seriously, no really, honestly, what in the actual eff?" As we enter this second iteration of a reoccurring nightmare that's actually reality, many of you may be stuck in fight, flight or freeze like us. (We're cycling between all three.) The question is: Where do we go from here? How do we get through these next four years? Are we ready to fight, and if so, how can we do it without burning ourselves out?

Consider this a family meeting, group therapy or a support group meeting. Take what you need. Just know that we're in this together.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Do you have an idea of how to fight against an oligrachy? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your thoughts.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

You can find abortion resources at abortionfunds.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

We've likely all heard the kurfuffle surrounding Blake Lively—how did she seemingly become one of Hollywood's most high-maintenance and hard-to-work-with actresses overnight? It turns out that the emperor doesn't actually have any clothes. We've been bamboozled by a well-orchestrated smear campaign thanks to Johnny Depp's understudy in destroying women—Justin "I don't always ask for consent" Baldoni. Once the picture of feminist allyship, along with his Man Enough podcast cohost Jamey "I'll show you videos of my naked wife giving birth without her knowledge" Heath, these two bros made sure Blake was both uncomfortable and mostly naked as much as possible during the filming of "It Ends With Us," then made sure no one would believe her when she disclosed that. Ah, men. We're 14 days into January and already so many of you are being d*cks.

In one of our favorite episodes of the year, we're deviating from our typical rhetoric and recapping a Christmas movie instead. A banger, if you will. In "Hot Frosty" the vet from Schitt's Creek is a snowman who comes alive (naked) after being wrapped in an ugly red scarf given to him by Gretchen Weiner of "Mean Girls" fame. Darryl from The Office is too big of a name to be in this but is anyway. The entire movie focuses on the single lady who shouldn't be single because everyone needs a man, even if he's a snowman. That's where the bar is now. Please enjoy and we'll see you in 2025 with more stories of men behaving badly. Real men, not snowmen.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

Many survivors of domestic violence don't realize they're being abused until years have passed. They convince themselves it's something else—a bad day at work, a short temper, too much to drink or deep-seated childhood wounds that therapy might heal. They hold onto hope that things will change. But then, a pattern emerges—unrelenting, undeniable. Promises are broken, help doesn't stick and sobriety doesn't bring peace.

Joan was one of those survivors. For nearly a decade, she rationalized her husband Michael's behavior. It wasn't until the night he came after their family with a knife that Joan knew she had to escape. She got out, saving herself and her two children, but what came next was just as harrowing: a court system that refused to protect her. Instead, it turned the blame on her.

This episode highlights Joan's story and introduces the Family Violence Appellate Project, a nonprofit that helps survivors appeal unjust court decisions in California and Washington.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at ToxicThePodcast.com and share your story.

If you're experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through DomesticShelters.org.

Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you're willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories.

Together, we can create change.

Deep breath. It's been a week. We come to you downtrodden and unshowered to commiserate in our feelings, all of which are valid. No dissection of Kamala's campaign, no grand plans for the future today — just acknowledgment that things are shitty but [hopefully] won't be forever because guess what? Women are strong as hell.

We're sorry that not enough white women knew the assignment. Black women, thank you once again for showing up. We have so much work to do to address racism, internalized misogyny and ignorance in our culture. We thought we were making some progress but LOLOLOL.

Sigh. We'll make it, ladies. When DT speaks of the enemy within, let's raise our hands and say, "Present."