Tragedy Academy

Summary: On The Tragedy Academy; this week, we welcome Rachel McDonald to discuss her experience living with Endometriosis, a rarely diagnosed disorder targeting only women. Rachel walks us through her painstaking journey of getting diagnosed, the battle to get a prescription, and the hurdles she had to jump through to get a Hysterectomy.

Key Points: 

?? Endometriosis

???? Getting through everyday life

? Battle to get a prescription 

? Fear of missing out

???????? Sex life having Endometriosis

? Early Hysterectomy

[00:01:27] Rachel gives a brief synopsis of Endometriosis and its effects. She notes that essentially, Endometriosis is uterine tissue that grows in the wrong place and can cause severe pain, much like cramping but 10x worse. Rachel expresses her frustration with the medical staff, both male and female, who would not take her pain seriously. There only was one medicine in the market that the FDA did not even fully approve.  

[00:05:27] Rachel walks us through everyday life as an adolescent. She recalls experiencing embarrassment because the pain would make her feel irritable and make it difficult to control her emotions. Rachel felt misunderstood and overwhelmed with fear at the thought of experiencing severe pain every month for the next 50 years.

[00:13:35] Rachel walks us through the uphill journey to get her Endometriosis prescription. She notes that she underwent a solo clinical trial since it was still considered an experimental drug. Since the FDA did not approve it, her insurance did not want to cover it. After six months of giving her severe side effects like chest pains, mood swings, and intense depressive symptoms, she had to see a psychiatrist.

[00:18:12] Rachel recounts having a fear of missing out but also having the feeling of loneliness. She describes how tiresome it is having to re-explain her condition to everyone and the balance she had to keep between sounding “bitchy” and expressing how she feels. Rachel notes that you can only be diagnosed through surgery and feels fortunate enough to have parents that have good insurance and can afford the medical expenses.

[00:24:54] Rachel’s sex life while having Endometriosis was almost nonexistent. She thought the pain was normal for the longest time, and everyone else was playing it up more than it should be. As an engaged woman, Rachel has feelings of guilt for not wanting to participate in sex. Still, she describes being lucky enough to have a fully understated partner who does not pressure her to do something she does not want to do. Nonetheless, the feelings of guilt are still there.

[00:33:44] Rachel confesses wishing she had gone to therapy a lot earlier and pleaded with people to do the same. She recalls feeling disillusioned and giving up on herself to the point positive activity she did in her life was solely done for the benefit of others.

[00:37:20] Seeing relationships in popular media affected what Rachel considered a healthy relationship. She felt terrible for not giving her fiancée sex, which made him feel bad, and it was a never-ending cycle. Eventually, Rachel learned that every relationship is different, and a healthy relationship exists by its unique perimeters. 

[00:41:31] Rachel shares having to make the tough decision of getting an early Hysterectomy. It was tough for two reasons: First, being faced with the reality of never having children. The second was the constant judgment and deprecating reactions she would get from healthcare professionals. She notes that her decision was not made lightly. She met with insurance roadblocks, who would not cover the surgery because of her age and scheduling due to the pandemic, and because it was considered elective surgery.

[00:55:14] Rachel shares the premise of her and her fiancé’s podcast, The Never-Ending Sleepover. She describes it as lighthear ...

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Ep 102: Edison Jakupi - Questionable Behavior

Summary: 

On this installment of The Tragedy Academy, Jay is joined by actor, model, and podcaster Edison Jakupi. Edison is the host of Questionable Behavior, a podcast committed to helping creators elevate their careers and sharing their journey. In this episode, Edison invites us into his world of warfare and diligence. As a Kosovo refugee, Edison details a life of struggle. Now being on the other side of it, he's learned gratitude and developed a desire to help others in his community and industry.  

Key Points:

?? Refugee from Kosovo

?? Son of an Albanian music legend

? Creating from struggle

?? Congruency in struggle and creation

?Giving back to the community

????? Creating mindful moments

? Experimenting with psychedelics

Episode Highlights:

[00:03:04] In 1999, Edison, his family, and their entire community were kicked out of their home in Kosovo at gunpoint by the Serbian police. The Serbians gave them 15 minutes to gather possessions or risk death. Edison was lucky enough to have learned some English as a child to communicate when he arrived in America. His parents both had to go to college again, working minimum wage jobs in the process. Learning to restart was hellish, but they had no choice but to push forward.

[00:06:57] Edison shares that he is the son of a famous Albanian musician, which helped the family when they came to the States. His father was hired to sing across many cities, and although that meant the family had to move a lot, it was a least putting food on the table.

[00:09:33] Edison draws inspiration from an artist who shares his same background; Dua Lipa. Rita Ora and Action Bronson, all Albanian artists. He and Jay agree that struggle creates character and breeds creativity. Jay states that once you meet with obstacles, the next one is met with a changed perspective. 

[00:14:43] Jay points out that The Questionable Behavior podcast interviews people who have faced some form of adversity. Edison concurs with that and adds that his whole purpose is to interview people as a storyteller. He likes to dissect people to understand who they are and why they are and get them to describe their journey. Edison notes that people often come back to thank him for allowing them to tell his story.

[00:23:22] Edison and Jay agree that time helps all improve, especially in podcasting. Your conversation skills improve along with your editing skills. Edisons notes that his younger brother began editing for him at 12, and he hated it at first. But after a few months of practice and persistence, he became a pro and now entirely edits Questionable Behavior for audio and video. 

[00:29:08] Edison feels there's an onus to give back to his community, specifically his family. He is still having good ties with his family back home and the culture. Initially, Edison was hiring his cousins and uncles back home to edit work for him. His goal is to build his podcast large enough to bring consistent work to people in his country. He notes that his people cannot quickly get visas in that country, so outsourcing and bringing opportunities is the goal.   

[00:37:18] Creators write the future, so in 2-3 years, Edison has a goal of building a podcast that can change people's lives. His mission is to get to a point where the right people listen to his show, which can catapult people's careers from just being on the podcast. It's not about getting famous; it's about helping others.

[00:45:15] Edisons describes his ayahuasca experience as life-changing but filled with overwhelming sadness. But, he took that as a learning experience and became a more enlightened person on the other side.

[00:52:49] Edison shares a conversation he had with his siblings on self-esteem; he notes that no one can make you feel less than what you think about yourself. He ex ...

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Summary:

In today's episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes actor, author, and former attorney Kirk Nurmi. Kirk has written numerous books on topics from the famous trial of Jodi Arias To pursuing a purposeful and fulfilled life by defending your greatness. Learn how he has taken on this treacherous journey of unfulfillment and feeling strayed from his Passion. Join us as he shares his moment of enlightenment and the transition of finally deciding to be happy!

Key Points:

? Finding your greatness

???? Passion is born from your purpose

? Getting into acting

? Escaping from the shackles of unhappiness

? Gratitude

? Thinking back to childhood

Episode Highlights:

[02:25] Kirk was lead counsel for the Jodi Arias 2013 trial for the murder of Travis Alexander in 2008. He gave legal commentary on court tv and discussed his transformation of going from attorney to acting.

[09:16] Jay relates finding your greatness to authenticity; both go hand in hand. Kirk builds on that by expounding on demon practicality. He notes how artists and creatives get steered away from their Passion for something that is considered "safe" by their parents. Traditional milestones like buying a house and getting married are often thought of as precursors for happiness when that has nothing to do with finding happiness.

[19:23] Kirk brings up a quote from Michelle Obama about the health crisis being obesity; he counters that by suggesting unhappiness as being the most significant health crisis. He notes that it can lead to obesity, substance abuse, and depression.

[21:54] Kirk details his advantages as an actor that come from living life through different perspectives. He notes that although he might never be a Christian Bale, his ability to be present and connect with people sets him apart from other actors. He can empathize and portray that through the screen.

[25:28] Kirk points out the importance of rejecting the premise that there is no happiness to pursue. Happy people surround us, but what we fail to consider is that the feeling is temporary. Transitioning into happiness is a matter of managing and starting in small increments.

[31:13] Kirk highlights that we all have something to be grateful for, from having a shelter to seeing a sunset. He shares his daily gratitude routine of testing his gratitude buddy every morning to think of three things to express Gratitude. Kirk explains that expressing or writing down what you're grateful for does not have to be a grandiose thing; it can be simple and easy.

[37:31] Jay thinks back to his childhood and remembers having a passion for music that he ignored as an adult. Kirk calls this arguing for your limitations, meaning you convince yourself of what you think you cannot do. Kirk shares the cathartic moment of burning his admission certification to practice law and releasing himself of what tied him to the past.

[45:14] Jay and Kirk agree that feelings are meant to be felt. Kirk recalls suppressing his own feelings as a child, but now, he can take those feelings and sit with them as an adult. Kirk points out that experiencing what you are supposed to feel can serve as a gateway to move forward. Emotions help you reconnect with your greatness.

[55:04] Outro

Connect with Kirk:

Instagram | @nurmiunchained

Website | kirknurmi.com

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Summary:

In this episode of the Tragedy Academy, we welcome Mirko Castagna to the show. Mirko is a recovering nicotine addict; he was a smoker for over 20 years, starting at 14. He shares his battle with addiction and details the most challenging parts of his journey and how that affected his mental health. With a new perspective, Mirko shares what it looks like for a person who restarts their lives at 33.

Key Points:

? Reeducating the brain

? Discovering why you started smoking

????? Experiencing Mindfulness

? Keep trying and keep going

? Mental health

Episode Highlights:

[01:08] Mirko started smoking at the age of 14 and continued smoking for 20 years. He notes that people generally start tobacco at a young age in Italy to impress their friends, but he didn’t know that he would develop an addiction that would be hard to beat. Yet, as of November of 2020, Mirko officially quit smoking. With the help of medicine and discipline, his cravings started to lessen until he got down to smoking a vape. While going to speak with a friend, he concluded that his vape was not a requirement to converse as he had been doing. 

[06:38] Mirko reveals needing to reeducate the brain as a recovering nicotine addict, especially at parties and social settings when people step out to smoke. He also gets into the insane bargaining you have with yourself when the idea of quitting comes. You tell yourself you are willing to sacrifice years of your life to delay the quitting process.   

[14:07] Mirko and Jay agree that the need for acceptance was a first step in taking on addictive behavior. You’re not only addicted to the nicotine but the need for acceptance as well. Mirko shares an anecdote of when he told his mother he started smoking. She proceeded to give him a good beating, not because he was smoking but because he would destroy her cigarettes as a child and beg her to stop smoking.

[17:50] Mirko describes two different sides to Mindfulness: the way he views people who he sees smoking; this view is not one of judgment but of concern. Mirko now understands that smokers have laundry lists of issues that keep them going back, from stress to guilt to anxiety. The second is the substitution of one substance for another. Mirko is a big coffee drinker, but the difference is the drinks because he likes it and now because it has power over him.

[20:30] Mirko and Jay both agree that the only way out is through when it comes to addiction. Keep trying to quit no matter how many times you fail, and if you do, take it easy on yourself; start again. Do whatever it takes to get better; for some, that might look like following a spiritual journey. For others, it’s with the help of medicine. While on your road to recovery, build healthy habits.

[22:22] Jay dives deep into mental health; he notes that no one wants to discuss mental illness; we feel people will judge when they only wish to validate in reality. When you come to terms with your mental illness, the subsequent massive step is not to let it become your identity. Mirko shares the story of his good friend, who was diagnosed with a mental disorder, and because of it, she justifies her behavior and allows it to consume her life. She tries to manipulate her reality and makes herself the victim.

[34:14] Jay discusses the importance of making amends with those who have not overcome their addiction. He states the need to accept their decisions and ride it out and hold no resentment because, in the end, they are sick and unable to pull themselves out of this situation.

[42:34] Connect with Mirko

Connect with Mirko:

Instagram | @Mr_Mirko_London https://bit.ly/2YLxLxv

Facebook | https://bit.ly/3FyiKj4

Youtube |

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Summary:

On this installment of the Tragedy Academy, writer, actor, and speaker Janet Conroy Quirk is in the studio. Janet is an advocate for the plus-sized community and is co-founder of National Plus Size, a directory that connects people with plus-friendly businesses. In this episode, we dig into the stereotypes surrounding plus-sized people and break antiquated ideology by providing real-world experiences, perspectives, and solutions!  

Key Points:

? Diet culture

? Believing the stereotypes

?? Advocating for better representation

? Mental health and weight

? Skills for navigating life

? Lack of safety

?? National Plus Guide

Episode Highlights:

[00:02:21] Throughout her 41 years of life, Janet has been every size there is and has experienced different treatment at each one. She notes the differences in how people treat you in all settings, including politeness, romantically, career opportunities, and most notably in the acting space.

[00:08:10] Jay and Janet discuss the media’s obsession with diet culture and the fit vs. fat stigma. Janet points out that weight size does not equal health, and even if it did, that is no reason to treat people without kindness. She emphasizes the importance of treating people equally and not project one’s bias. Most biases of overweight people imply that they are lazy and uneducated, which only undermines what a person has to offer.

[00:13:11] Jay points out the internalized shame that comes with the stereotypes of fat people; often, people end up believing and accepted it. Janet adds by noting the concept of body positivity and the misconception of thinking that you wake up the next morning feeling great about yourself. Conversely, Janet notes that seeing more women who look like her in media has helped the size acceptance movement, yet she still does not have any plus-sized friends.   

[00:20:33] Janet shares what better representation looks like for her. She lists the importance of seeing people play leading roles in tv, and representation in the clothing industry, but most notably telling stories of successful people. Several factors can define success, so the critical part is to break antiquated stereotypes of laziness and portray overweight people in leadership.  

[00:26:08] Janet comments on the role mental health plays in fitness. She states that although she is happy for her loved ones, which makes it a point to exercise every day, talking to a therapist is just as important. Additionally. she points out the condescending comments people make when she is at the gym or swimming in a pool.

[00:31:08] Janet shares some practices she puts in place to navigate life without too much negativity. She controls what she exposes herself to, including social media restrictions and not using the apps that much. She also chooses who she associates herself with and sets rigid boundaries and whoever does not want to comply is welcome to leave her life. But she also acknowledges that there are moments in which she has to pick her battles and not let something ruin her day.

[00:40:22] Janet reveals the Lack of safety for plus-sized women, especially online. She gives the example of email tracking and escalating to the point of receiving death threats. A second example is a personal anecdote where Janet was assaulted while riding the subway, and no one came to her aid. As a result, she was afraid to use the subway again and took months to regain her confidence. She notes that the older generations are the cruelest, and conversely, the younger generations are more inclusive.

[00:56:28] Janet talks about a project she co-founded called National Plus Guide. It is a directory that connects plus-sized people to business establishments that are plus-friendly and plus-accommodating.  

[01:01:55] Connect with National Plus Guide

Connect with Nation ...

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In this episode of The Tragedy Academy Podcast, host Jay Hicks sits down with entrepreneur and author Ryan Cooper as he shares his inspiring story of overcoming adversity. Despite growing up with a bipolar mother and later being diagnosed with the same mental illness, Ryan persevered to become the successful entrepreneur and author he is today. He talks about his book, "Fuck It: Why Not Me," and the legacy he's striving to leave behind. Listeners will be moved by Ryan's resilience and perseverance, even in the face of life's toughest challenges. ??

In this episode, we hear the remarkable story of Ryan Cooper, a man who has faced more than his fair share of adversity. From growing up with a bipolar mother to being diagnosed with the same mental illness, Ryan has had to navigate some challenging circumstances. However, his story is one triumph over tragedy, and he's here to share his experiences and insights with our listeners.

Ryan is an entrepreneur and author, and in this episode, he talks about his book "Fuck It: Why Not Me" and the inspiration behind it. We'll also hear about his diagnosis, how he manages stress and his passion for sports and coaching. Ryan's journey is one of resilience, optimism, and determination, and he will inspire anyone who listens to this episode.

Key Takeaways:

? The inspiration behind "Fuck It: Why Not Me?"

?? Coping with bipolar disorder

? Strategies for managing stress

? Finding mindfulness through coaching

? Dealing with animosity in the home

Guest Bio: Ryan Cooper is an entrepreneur and author of the book "Fuck It: Why Not Me." He has faced numerous challenges, including growing up with a bipolar mother and being diagnosed with the same mental illness. Despite these obstacles, Ryan has become a successful entrepreneur and coach, using his experiences to inspire and motivate others.

Guest Quotes:

CTA for Show: Don't miss out on this inspiring episode of The Tragedy Academy Podcast with Ryan Cooper. If you haven't already, subscribe to our podcast and leave us a review. We hope you'll find our unique perspective on exploring the human experience through the lens of tragedy and triumph both engaging and enlightening. Remember, "Be cool and keep learning." ?

CTA for Guest: Connect with Ryan Cooper on his website or social media channels to learn more about his book, "Fuck It: Why Not Me," and his work as an entrepreneur and coach. Ryan's story is one of resilience and determination, and he's sure to inspire you to overcome any challenges you might face. ?

Conclusion: In this episode of The Tragedy Academy, we learned about Ryan Cooper's triumph over adversity. From growing up with a bipolar mother to being diagnosed with the same mental illness, Ryan has faced numerous challenges. However, through perseverance and optimism, he has come out the other side with gratitude and triumph.

Join us next week for another inspiring episode of The Tragedy Academy Podcast. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. Be cool and keep learning.

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Summary:

In today's episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay speaks to Jaymes, The Face Anthony. Jaymes hosts the YouTube show Jaymes Kickback, where he interviews celebrities, influencers, and artists to showcase their art and get to know them personally. Jaymes brings us on his self-discovery path and how he went from a sheltered child to living his most authentic life.

Key Points:

? Origins of Jaymes kickback

? Discovering yourself through the pandemic

? Pivotal moments that led to Jaymes Kickback

? Pursuing modeling and booking a first fashion show

? Feeling stagnant and crying for direction

? What does authenticity mean to you?

???? What does it mean to be queer?

?? Growing up in the church

Episode Highlights:

[02:05] Jaymes knew that since childhood, he wanted to be a superstar. He acknowledges that he knew he would not be a dancer or singer; nevertheless, he felt the path to stardom was paved.

[03:57] In college, Jaymes studied to become a broadcast journalist and eventually dropped out, but he held on to his interest in interviewing and talking. He had it on the back burner until the pandemic, when he went all in and revisited his skills. Jaymes discloses feeling empowered to follow his dreams.

[08:44] Jaymes lived a sheltered life up until middle school. He shared a pivotal moment in his adolescent life when he knew he wanted to become a superstar. That moment came when he was watching cycle Two of Americans Next Top Model with Tyra Banks. But he confesses to feeling hesitation at the lack of representation on the show.

[11:14] With stardom on his mind, Jaymes decides to pursue modeling. He spent a couple of years building his portfolio with photographers and agents but did not bite. He went to every modeling agency in San Francisco but found it hard to get representation until his 2-year mark. During that time, Jayme confesses feeling confused and discouraged as to why no one would sign him.

[15:36] Jaymes books his first fashion only after researching and learning that you do not need an agent to apply for shows. At his first runway show, Jaymes remembers being in awe of how beautiful everyone looked to the point that it brought up self-doubt.

[17:48] When the pandemic hit, Jaymes' modeling career went with it. He began feeling stagnant, unmotivated, and overwhelmingly anxious from wasted time passing by. At this point, Jaymes was 25 years old and not feeling any closer to stardom. Yet, during the pandemic, Jayme hit a critical point in his life where he felt depressed and needed direction.

[24:31] Jaymes shares what authenticity means to him; he describes it as something that comes naturally from you and is intentional. He also shares his experience of crying out for direction from God and finally having a light bulb moment, realizing that his calling is entertainment hosting. Once he got that vision, Jaymes immediately got to work.

[29:17] Growing up gay and of color what difficult for Jaymes, but he was fortunate enough that his parents never shunned him; at the very most, they thought he was a bit eccentric and made ignorant comments.

[32:18] Jaymes defines what it means to be queer from his perspective. He describes the word as coinciding with the gay experience, and although people used it as an expletive, he embraced the word and took it back for himself.

[36:14] Jaymes shares his experience growing up in Oakland and being raised by a preacher's father. He reveals never wanted to go to church because he did not want to face scrutiny from other members. Jaymes was a flamboyant gay, which made him an easy target.

[42:20] Jaymes shares why he interviewed people who like his career path. He figures that if he is interested in knowing more about celebrities' and influencers' lives, so are other people. He also acknowledges that watching other peopl ...

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In this episode of The Tragedy Academy Podcast, host Jay Hicks sits down with Kent Lawlor, an author, schoolteacher, and single father of three children. Kent shares his journey of parenting, mental health struggles, and self-discovery, highlighting the importance of challenging yourself and wearing your scars with pride. Listeners will gain insights on how to approach parenting in the internet age, the significance of tone in communication, and how to overcome obstacles and reach your full potential.

Key Takeaways:

? No one is a perfect parent; trying your best every day is essential.

? Parenting in the internet age can be challenging due to online bullying, which affects children's mental health.

? Being mindful of tone is crucial when communicating with children. Connect with them at their level and clearly communicate what you need them to do.

? Overcoming obstacles and learning new skills can lead to self-discovery and personal growth.

? Wearing your scars with pride and authenticity is crucial to overcoming shame and guilt.

Guest Bio: Kent Lawlor is a single father of three children, an author of two books, and a schoolteacher. He shares his experiences as a single father and his journey to improving his mental health and becoming a better parent.

Guest Quotes:

Buy Kent’s Books:

- Perfectly Imperfect

- Forever Forward: What Obstacle Racing and CrossFit Taught Me About Life

Instagram | @blue_records

CTA for Show: Tune in to The Tragedy Academy Podcast for more conversations on tragedy and triumph, exploring the human experience through a unique lens. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share the podcast with your friends. Be cool and keep learning.

CTA for Guest: Learn more about Kent Lawlor and his work by checking out his books, Perfectly Imperfect and Forever Forward: What Obstacle Racing and CrossFit Taught Me About Life. Follow him on Instagram @blue_records to stay updated on his journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Conclusion: In this episode, listeners gain insights on parenting in the internet age, the importance of tone in communication, and the significance of overcoming obstacles for self-discovery and personal growth. Kent Lawlor's journey as a single father and his experiences with mental health struggles and personal growth provide valuable lessons for anyone facing adversity. Tune in next week for another powerful episode of The Tragedy Academy Podcast. Be cool and keep learning.

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Summary:

In today's episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes singer, songwriter, musician, and producer Zain of Aftersound. Zain gives us a peek into the mind of a musician and shares his perspective behind the music he creates. We learn of the possibilities that lie behind your hesitation and the rewards that come with it.

Key Points:

?Podcast: Coffee with Aftersound

? What is music?

? Good vs. bad parts of social media

? Why do sad songs resonate with you?

? Summer Nights

? Discovering singing

? Escapism

Episode Highlights:

[02:24] Zain dives into his love for music and podcasting. He shares his admiration for Jay's work with Tragedy Academy and wishes to aim for a similar structure. Zain also expresses his passion for music and reveals that what makes him a great creator is being vulnerable to strangers.

[09:00] Zain dissects what music is and the power it holds. He gives the example of classical music, that how even though there are no lyrics in the music, people were still able to connect with it on a mutual level. Essentially, the reason he got into music is that it is a universal language. Additionally, Zain and Jay agree on how exciting it feels when someone reaches out when they've listened to your content.

[13:28] Zain shares his motivation behind creating sad/love songs. He acknowledges the visceral feeling that comes with painful emotions and how we as a human race tend to focus on the negative and wallow in it. Congruently, he expresses his joy in connecting with people by channeling his emotions through the lyrics he writes, either for himself or for other people. It also helps him understand others' perspectives.

[21:17] Zain tells the origin story of how he got into singing. It started with him and three other roommates in college pitching in to purchase a Grand Band Console. Originally, Zain wanted to play the drums but relented being the singer, which was a blessing in disguise. As Zain continued to get compliments on his voice, he began to take singing more seriously, which led him to invest in audio equipment and do covers.

[32:32] Zain and Jay dive deep into the Escapism that comes with tv and social media. They express how it's mostly a façade and serves as a pseudo entry into meditation. Although most people do not like to sit with their thoughts, it eventually always comes to a head.

[41:03] Zain and Jay agree on the collective creative movement that has happened during the pandemic. For the most part, people went one of two ways, they either jumped back into the repetitive cycle or explored their creative endeavors. Zain gives the example of older people on TikTok participating in the challenges, expressing themselves in a way they could not before.

[48:02] Connect with Zain

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