Training4Manhood

Guest: Nick Bellamy

Shout out to Dustin Donley at Legacy Clothiers for helping make Nick look good! If you’d like for Dustin to help you dress your best, reach out to him and set up an appointment at 214-729-0670 or via email at [email protected]

Nick shares his incredible journey that includes ten plus years spent filling the void in his life with drugs and alcohol - using a substance to deal with the “black cloud of depression” because he had never been taught anything differently!

Nick says that our faith is a “two-sided coin” that includes serving and giving, not just receiving God’s grace and mercy. Great reminder that we are blessed to be a blessing!

If you’re looking to get help with an addiction or struggle, Nick would highly recommend checking out the Life Recovery program at Prestonwood Baptist Church - or a Celebrate Recovery or Re/Gen (regeneration) program at a Bible teaching church in your area.

When you confess your sins to God, you’re forgiven. When you confess your sins to a human, you get freedom.

Guys, you need to have a community of friends around you who will hold you accountable to make decisions that are in your best interests - a friend is the person who speaks the most truth into your life.

Men, the measure of success is the amount you’re investing in others! Invest yourself in the life of at least one other person this week.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Dr. Jason Snyder

Note: Just to clarify, I do not believe that aliens built the pyramids in Egypt. ;-)

Andrew Murray - Humility

And so pride, or the loss of humility, is the root of every sin and evil.

And so Jesus came to bring humility back to earth, to make us partakers of it, and by it to save us.

His humility is our salvation. His salvation is our humility.

No tree can grow except on the root from which it sprang.

If this [humility] be the root of the tree, its nature must be seen in every branch and leaf and fruit. If humility be the first, the all-including grace of the life of Jesus–if humility be the secret of his atonement–then the health and strength of our spiritual life will entirely depend upon our putting this grace first too, and making humility the chief thing we admire in him, the chief thing we ask of him, the one thing for which we sacrifice all else.

Brother, are you clothed in humility? Ask your daily life. Ask Jesus. Ask your friends. Ask the world.

Third, it is only by the indwelling of Christ in his divine humility that we become truly humble. We have our pride from another–from Adam; we must have our humility from Another too.

Gentle and Lowly - Dane Ortlund

Matthew 11:29 - Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart [humble]...

• Humility - being “God-reliant” and not “self-reliant”

1 Peter 5:5-6 - Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you…

The point in saying that Jesus is lowly is that he is ACCESSIBLE.

• Are you accessible to those you love?

Orange County Rescue Mission - Jim Palmer, President

Mission Statement: Minister the love of of Jesus Christ to the LEAST, the LAST, and the LOST

Good to Great - Jim Collins

When Collins interviewed people who worked for these leaders, he says they “continually used words like quiet, humble, modest, reserved, shy, gracious, mild-mannered, self-effacing, understanding, did not believe his own clippings, and so forth” to describe them.

Soldier, Statesman, Peacemaker: Leadership Lessons from George C. Marshall by Jack Uldrich

Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek

The Law by Frederic Bastiat - socialism is terrible for both the giver and the recipient, the giver is not allowed to sacrifice for the betterment of his brothers, the recipient is not allowed to appreciate the gift from another.

Humility gets God’s attention

This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.  Isaiah 66:2

Humility - not thinking less about yourself…but thinking about yourself less…

Humility - honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness

Pride is the only poison that is good for us when swallowed.

Want your life to grow in humility:

1. Study the life of Jesus

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew 5:9

A peace-MAKER is different from a peace-keeper…you’re not just keeping a peace that already exists, you have to MAKE PEACE.

Mike - #1 Issue for divorce is “unresolved conflict” - irreconcilable differences. If you want to succeed in marriage, you have to learn to resolve conflict. We live in a fallen world, conflict will exist - what’s your role in resolving the conflict that exists?

Gabe - before you can make peace with others, you have to understand the peace that Christ resolved on your behalf with God!

1 Thess. 5:23 - Now may the God of peace himself…

1 Cor. 14:33 - For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

The example of Jesus is that there are times that YOU must pay the price to resolve conflict even if you’ve been wronged! There are times that you must take the first step toward forgiveness even though you’ve been wronged. Can you imagine what this would look like if you do this in your family, in your workplace, in your community?

“PEACE, I leave with you; MY PEACE I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.”  John 14:27  The peace that God gives us is different from what the world has to offer - God’s peace comes with and through the power of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer. 

“...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it.” Samuel Clemens

Forgiveness is not natural - it is a supernatural concept that is made possible by the loving example of God’s forgiveness in our own lives!

“In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” An aphorism generally attributed to St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD).

Accountability is part of the peacemaking process. Without accountability, there can’t be peace in the midst of conflict. Sweeping conflict under the rug does not resolve the situation! Jordan Peterson - your best friends are the ones who tell you the MOST truth!

The CHARGE - be the kind of man that invites people to hold them accountable, are you correctable, are you teachable? Who are the guys around you - are they holding you accountable to a higher standard? Start with a self-evaluation, then ask others how they see you - those who will be honest with you!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Guest: J. Josh Smith

Senior Pastor, Prince Avenue Baptist Church

Josh began his ministry as senior pastor of Prince Avenue Baptist Church on January 14, 2018. Josh was the senior pastor of MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church in Irving, Texas for 12 years before coming to Prince.

Pastor Josh has ministered in more than 30 countries, worked with international students at Duke University, and served as a missionary in central Europe. His greatest passion is the exaltation of Christ and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom to the ends of the earth through the ministry of the local church.

Josh received his Bachelors in Cross-Cultural Studies from Liberty University, a Masters of Divinity from Southeastern Seminary, and a Doctor of Ministry in Expository Preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife Andrea, have four daughters and one son.

The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood

Paul’s recommendation to Titus on how to fix the problems that he’s seeing in the culture - fix the men in the church.

What can you do to get men to serve? You’re asking the wrong question. What kind of men do you want in two years - start building those men, and the doing (service) will come out of the being (as a child of God who modeled leadership by serving).

Foundations for Godly Manhood (from The Titus Ten):

1. Dominion

Dominion - mankind was created to have a relationship with God, to live under God’s authority, and to have authority over everything God created (Psalm 8)

To take dominion meant to take responsibility, to care, to lead, to cultivate.

There are two words in Genesis 2 that give clarity on the meaning of dominion: work and keep (Gen. 2:15).

• When you think about work, think about a plow

The domains where a man is to have dominion can be divided into three areas of Christian living:

• The church

A man must first take dominion over his flesh.

God wants to begin to rebuild men through the Gospel.

Self-control - learning how to say “no” to the lesser things so you can say “yes” to the greater things that God has in store for you! Faith is believing that God’s plan is better than your own. Sin is self harm.

Go to work and work hard. Go home and work hard. Go to bed tired.

Guys, when you go home, it should be a better place when you’re there! When you put no effort at home, you’ll get no “fruit” for your labor! Walking in “dominion” means that you’re the chief worker!

Older men - younger guys are desperate for an older man to invest in them. Be open and prepared to share the wisdom from God’s Word with others around you.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague

Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution

By Carl R. Trueman

Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution

In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.

SUMMARY: how the feelings of an individual have triumphed over the societal institutions (law, church, family, community), how objective truth has been eliminated, and how have we disassociated gender from biology.

Chapter 7 The Sexual Revolution of the LGBTQ+

Of more immediate significance to our current situation, however, is the thought of Simone de Beauvoir, the French philosopher whose 1949 book, The Second Sex, is a foundational text for modern feminist theory. She opens the second part of that work with a dramatic and far-reaching statement:

One is not born, but rather becomes, woman. No biological, psychic, or economic destiny defines the figure that the human female takes on in society; it is civilization as a whole that elaborates this intermediary product between the male and the eunuch that is called feminine.

DeBeauvoir makes a distinction between biology and what we now call gender. The whole idea of what it is to be a woman is a social construct, something that is not intrinsic to the female body. To use the language of a later gender theorist, Judith Butler, gender is a performance, a set of behaviors that society has come to expect from those who possess a certain kind of body. 

The preamble of The Yogyakara Principles:

Understanding “sexual orientation” to refer to each person’s capacity for profound emotional, affectional and sexual aggraction to, and intimate and sexual relations with, individuals of a different gender or the same gender or more than one gender; 

Understanding “gender identity” to refer to each person’s deeply felt internal and individual experience of gender, which may or may not correspond with the sex assigned at birth, including the personal sense of the body (which may involved, if freely chosen, modification of bodily appearance or function by medical, surgical or other means) and other expressions of gender, including dress, speech and mannerisms.

Principle 3

Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law. Persons of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities shall enjoy legal capacity in all aspects of life. Each person’s self-defined sexual orientation and gender identity is integral ot their personality and is one of the most basic aspects of self-determination, dignity and freedom

In plain terms, this calls for societies to recognize–that is, affirm, support, and protect–whatever subjective sexual identity any individual cares to affirm for themselves.

Chapter 8 Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

While the speed of the sexual revolution has been shocking to many, perhaps the strangest and most disturbing developments over recent years have been the ways in which freedoms once considered to be self-evident goods - of speech and of religion - are now under pressure in many Western democracies. This is something both unexpected and sinister.

United States v Windsor (2013) - challenge of DOMA - the court saw the objections to gay marriage as being grounded in what is technically termed constitutional animus or, to put the same idea in more colloquial terms, irrational bigotry.

Windsor provided the immediate legal background to Obergefell v Hodges (2015) - legalization of same-sex marriage…

Casey (1992) decision from Justice Kennedy: At the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State.

For example, when the Christian objects of homosexuality, he may well think he is objecting to a set of sexual desires or sexual practices. But the gay man sees those desires as part of who he is in his very essence.

What Marcuse is calling for here is the censoring of speech as a means of moving society toward a more just and equitable state.

Chapter 9 Strangers in This Strange New World

The era when Christians could disagree with the broader convictions of the secular world and yet still find themselves respected as decent members of society at large is coming to an end.

First, we need to examine ourselves, individually and corporately, to see in what ways we have compromised the gospel with the spirit of this age. Then, we need to repent, call out to the Lord for grace, and seek to reform our beliefs, attitudes, intuitions, and practices accordingly. 

Second, an awareness of our complicity should cultivate a level of humility in how we engage with those with whom we disagree on these matters.

Third, to be aware of our complicity at least allows us to engage in the future in appropriate self-criticism and self-policing on such issues.

Justin Martyr - did not spend time denouncing the evils of the emperor - rather, they argued positively that Christians make the best citizens, the best parents, the best servants, the best neighbors, the best employees…

Augustine - The City of God - Christians could and should be good citizens to the extent that their higher commitment to God allowed them to do so.

In short, we can stand strong in this cultural moment and address the specific challenges we face only if our foundations in God’s truth are broad and deep.

This means that the chaotic nature of our times is no excuse for abandoning the church’s task of teaching her people the whole counsel of God.

The church also needs to recover natural law and a theology of the body.

Guest: Stephen Bryant

Coach Bryant played tight end for the TCU Horned Frogs. 

No matter what stage of life you’re in, you need to have a good church home.

What’s your mission, who are you living for - yourself or for someone larger than you - for Jesus Christ?

Stephen’s advice to a young guy - you don’t have to do this alone! The Lord has a plan for you and He desires to be with you!

“But God” is a great thing to add at the end of things you don’t understand…helps you gain a different perspective on things that are difficult and hard, but God isn’t done yet, but God can use all things for His glory…

Remember, the grass isn’t greener on the other side - the grass is greener where you water it - put in the time and effort to do things/relationships well.

“But God” - He can take our message and turn it into His message of grace and redemption!

Our journey with God isn’t just a “straight street” - there are twists and turns, the fun in life is trusting God no matter where He takes you. When you walk in obedience, there are the blessings of God to enjoy. When we sin and fall outside of God’s path, we learn to repent and return to the goodness and provision of God.

If you’re going to train your body physically, Paul would encourage you to train yourself for godliness as well. “Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8

Stephen - what are you seeking? What are your real priorities? If God isn’t first, He can’t bless those things that are above Him in your life!

Self-assessment is key to growth as a man of God. It’s also important to have good community around you to speak truth into your life as well.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague

Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution

By Carl R. Trueman

Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution

In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.

Chapter 5 The Revolt of the Masses

Technology also reinforces the focus on the individual, and upon individual satisfactions.

To this we might add the observation of Yuval Levin concerning the reversal in the understanding of the purpose of institutions that characterizes our present age:

We have moved, roughly speaking, from thinking of institutions as molds that shape people’s character and habits towards seeing them as platforms that allow people to be themselves and to display themselves before a wider world.

We can express this more bluntly: institutions are no longer authoritative places of formation but of performance.

Dan - some parents see their role not as an authority figure, but as a facilitator to allow your children be whatever they want to be. Many people don’t regard science/biology as being authoritative in terms of gender and sexuality, just because a “doctor” says you’re a boy, doesn’t make you a boy - that’s the mindset of a growing group today!

Dan - difference between reforming institutions and rejecting institutions. If you reject these institutions, what do you replace them with?

To use a distinction deployed by philosopher Roger Scruton, pornography is about bodies, not faces. If sex is just about my pleasure, any body will do as a partner. But in a marriage, the specific identity of the sexual partners is critical. The purpose of sex is not to have sex but to make love, to reinforce a relationship with a particular person–or, to use Scruton’s terminology, with a face, not just with a body.

Chapter 6 Plastic People, Liquid World

“Contours of the MODERN SELF” - the emphasis on the authority of our inner feelings; the centrality of sexual desire to this; the way in which this is now a political and not merely a personal matter; and the various cultural and technological factors that have also served to promote this way of understanding the self.

Plastic people - those who believe they can make and remake themselves at will

Liquid world - to borrow a phrase from Karl Marx, all that is solid seems continually to melt into air.

This highlights the fact that human beings do not simply wish to be free. We also wish to belong, to be part of a group where we are accepted and affirmed.

Now we are free to choose the narrative to which we wish to belong, the imagined community that will provide us with our identity and purpose. We can focus on those narratives that make us feel good and that confirm our chosen view of the world and ignore those that present challenges to this.

Jonathan - if self is god, then my experience becomes my gospel

Modern American society is fragmenting because the imagined communities to which people choose to belong lack any shared narrative. Therefore, the terms of recognition that one group wishes to see American society adopt are often antithetical to those of others.

Guest: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd

What is a good working definition of “love”? Mike has taken the definition given by Dr. Tim Kimmel (Grace Filled Marriage) and taught this to his boys:

Love is the commitment of my will to the betterment of your needs regardless of the cost to me.

What are some “other” definitions of love?

• Olaf (little snowman from the movie Frozen) - love means putting the needs of others ahead of your own. 

Gabe - love by its very nature has to be free. As soon as love becomes conditional, it’s no longer love.

Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more…1 Thessalonians 4:9-10

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The Fruitful Life by Jerry Bridges - great adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague

Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution

By Carl R. Trueman

Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution

In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.

Chapter 3 Prometheus Unbound

Dan’s comment: where/how did we get rid of objective truth (God as the standard for truth)?

Jonathan’s comment: these ideas are not thousands of years in the past - many of the ideas still popular today are heavily influenced by Marx and Nietzsche

Tim’s comment: these ideologies are not helpful, they are harmful!

Karl Marx

The foundation of irreligious criticism is: Man makes religion, religion does not make man.

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness.

Religion is a sign of intellectual weakness in its adherents and a means of social oppression for its proponents. Further, freedom can be achieved only by the abolition of religion.

Friedrich Nietzsche

“Whither is God?” he cried: “I will tell you. We have killed him–you and I.”

God is dead.

Dan’s comment: If God is dead, then we are free from all moral constraints.

We might express Nietzsche’s thought this way: freed from the burden of being creatures of God, human beings must rise to the challenge of self-creation, of being whoever they choose to be. Put perhaps even more bluntly: be whoever or whatever works for you. You should feel no obligation to conform to the standards or criteria of anybody else.

Chapter 4 Sexualizing Psychology, Politicizing Sex

Tim’s comment: your sexuality, while important, is such a shallow measure of your total human existence and being.

…sexual desire has emerged in the last one hundred years as a primary category for understanding our identity. In biblical times or in ancient Greece, sex was regarded as something that human beings did; today it is considered to be something vital to who human beings are.

Sigmund Freud

First, the notion that sex is foundational to human happiness is central to Freud’s thinking.

So, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain are key to the definition of happiness. And where is the greatest pleasure to be found? Freud is in no doubt:

Man’s discovery that sexual (genital) love afforded him the strongest experiences of satisfaction and in fact provided him with the prototype of all happiness, must have suggested to him that he should continue to seek the satisfaction of happiness in his life along the path of sexual relations and that he should make genital erotism the central point of his life.

When we add to this that Freud also saw sexual desire as existing from infancy, the point is further reinforced: our identities as human beings are in a very important sense fundamentally defined by our sexual desires.

The fulfilled life is a sexually fulfilled life.

Wilhelm Reich

In plain English, the sexual morality of Reich’s day is designed to reinforce the structure and authority of the traditional family. The social function of the traditional family is to raise children who are instinctively obedient to a strong authoritarian (father) figure–in Reich’s eyes, a figure such as Hitler.

The point is clear: sexual codes must be shattered if human beings are to be truly free. Those things that inhibit the free sexual expression, even of young children, are oppressive and prevent individuals from truly being themselves.

Guest: Rob Wilton

Rob Wilton is a multi-city movement leader for Christ. He is the Founding Pastor of Vintage Church, Send City Missionary for the Send Network, and the Chaplain for the New Orleans Saints. Although his family is from South Africa, Rob was born and raised in New Orleans and this is where he met Jesus.

Guys, just thinking about some common “missteps” or mistakes that we can make along the journey of life…followed by common logic AND uncommon wisdom.

• Thinking you can travel the road alone

1. 1. 1. Common logic - surround yourself with good people

• Underestimating the influence that others have in your life

1. 1. 1. Common logic - you’re the average of your 5 closest friends

• Thinking less of yourself for your humble beginnings

1. 1. 1. Common logic - doesn’t matter where you begin, it matters where you end…

• Thinking too highly of yourself for particular gifts and talents you’ve been given

1. 1. 1. Common logic - think less of yourself

• Thinking you’ll address spiritual issues later in life

1. 1. Common logic - take care of yourself first

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.