Training4Manhood

Guest: LTC Allen West

Listen to LTC Allen West on his podcast Steadfast & Loyal on all the podcast platforms.

Bio from the Young America’s Foundation (YAF) website:

Lieutenant Colonel (Ret) Allen B. West is a Christian constitutional conservative, combat veteran, and former Member of the US Congress.

Allen West was born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia in the same neighborhood where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once preached. He is the third of four generations of military servicemen, all combat veterans, in his family.

West was commissioned through ROTC at the University of Tennessee as a Second Lieutenant (2LT) on July 31, 1982. He entered active duty service in the U.S. Army on November 1, 1983 at Fort Sill to attend the Field Artillery Officer Basic Course. He later attended airborne and jumpmaster training at Fort Benning. West’s first assignment was as an airborne infantry company fire support team leader and battalion training officer in the 325th Airborne Battalion Combat Team. In 1987, he was promoted to Captain and attended the Field Artillery Officer Advanced Course.

He was then assigned to the 1st Infantry Division, where he commanded Bravo Battery, 6th Field Artillery Regiment and was a Battalion Task Force fire support officer for 2d Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment. While with the 1st Infantry Division, he participated in Operations Desert Shield and Operation Desert Storm.

West’s culminating assignment to his career was as Battalion Commander of the 2d Battalion 20th Field Artillery, 4th Infantry Division. He assumed command of this unit on June 6, 2002. He deployed with his unit during the Iraq War in 2003 and continued to command his battalion until his retirement from the Army in 2004 after 22 years of honorable service in defense of the Republic.

In November of 2010, Allen was honored to continue his oath of service to his country when he was elected to the United States Congress, representing Florida’s 22nd District. As a member of the 112th Congress, West introduced seven major pieces of legislation, and was the original sponsor of H. R. 1246 which reduces costs at the Department of Defense, was passed unanimously (393-0), and signed into law by President Obama as part of the National Defense Authorization Act. Congressman West voted for the Balanced Budget Amendment, and voted for over 30 different bills designed to empower small businesses, reduce government barriers to job creation, boost American competitiveness, encourage entrepreneurship and growth, and maximize American energy production.

West holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Tennessee, Knoxville and two Masters, one from Kansas State University and another from the US Army Command and General Staff Officers College.

He is the former Executive Director of the National Center for Policy Analysis in Dallas Texas. West is an avid distance runner, a Master SCUBA diver, a motorcyclist, and in his spare time he enjoys cheering his beloved Tennessee Volunteers.

LTC West tells the story of a young soldier Audie Murphy, a boy from Texas who joined the military and became the most decorated soldier during WWII.

What is it about the military that it was able to take a young boy and turn him into a man? West talks about the “crucible of combat” and the challenges that boys are looking for to help mold them into men - to be “All that they can be”!

Today’s culture is pushing back and “canceling” anything that makes anyone uncomfortable or allowing one person to stand out above another - the military of tomorrow will face greater challenges in molding and shaping the men of tomorrow!

Can a young man find this “formula” of “do hard things” outside the military?

• West suggests that a young man start with reading the Bible and specifically recommends the life lessons found in Romans 5 that talks about “rejoicing in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…”

Guest: Von Minor

What are your strategies for battling against the distractions and discouragement of the world so that you can prosper and be successful?

Step 1 - Getting into the Word of God.

• Young guys - what ARE you reading?

Step 2 - You need to have an older man in your life as an example, model for life.

Step 3 - Before you get into a dating relationship, you need to be in a significant and meaningful relationship with God.

• Before God introduces Eve into creation, he establishes a relationship with Adam and gives Adam a mission and purpose - work to do.

Step 4 - What kind of men are you looking to emulate - guys who are successful in a particular skill or in life?

• Will you spend time with a coach/trainer to get better at a particular sport but not spend time with a godly man to get better at life?

Older guys - do you have young men that you’re investing in?

• Von - older guys might feel like they’re disqualified because of hidden or unrepentant sin in their lives - get right with God so that you can be used by Him to influence the lives of others who need you!

Young guys - have discernment with the men that you allow to speak into your life.

• Be careful of men who are “successful” at work but not at home

Guest: Von Minor

Von Minor went from a corporate career as a television ad exec to being a youth pastor and a church planter in Dallas.

Von Minor was dramatically impacted by the spiritual walk of a guy named Jodey Arrington, who now serves as the US Representative for Texas’ 19th congressional district.

• What other men are impacting your life, your path, your choices?

What stereotypes about men need to be challenged in your life?

• “Men” don’t like the symphony

Von’s three things that he knew he needed as a young man:

1. Job

Von realized the critical nature of having a godly mentor to share the journey with - an older man to lead by example and a younger man to pour wisdom into.

• Who is your “mentor” - that godly older man who speaks truth into your life?

What things are negatively affecting the maturation process on your spiritual journey?

• Social media (shortening your attention span, making it impossible to read and digest God’s Word)

Guest: Grayson Frank

Remember, if you “outkick your coverage” in finding a spouse, it means that she settled for someone “below” her - and that’s not a compliment to her!

Grayson - how, practically speaking, do I “find the girl”? Grayson’s recommendation - let your family and friends “set you up” with someone they believe will be a good fit for your life!

Is it possible (or even desirable) to remain a virgin before you get married? How important is “purity” before and during marriage?

Dallas is the #1 city in America for marital infidelity - how sad is that?!

How does a young man keep his way pure (Psalms 119:9)?

What would you say to a young man who is sexually active before marriage, but wants to find the “right one” and then thinks he’ll be monogamous in marriage? Grayson says that what you’ve started before marriage isn’t going to change once you get married…so be careful!

Dan - whenever you introduce sexual intimacy into a relationship, it acts as a “ceiling” for the emotional intimacy in that relationship. In other words, if you have sex on the first (second, third…) date, that’s the emotional depth of that relationship.

Grayson’s recommendations:

1. Sin festers in isolation - so build community and accountability!

When some say that you need to have sex before marriage to make sure the relationship works out, that doesn’t make sense if the quality of the person you’re wanting to be in a relationship with is a “Rolls Royce”!

Guys who don’t communicate well with a girl will use physical touch to make a connection - and don’t underestimate the power and connection of physical touch - check out Dr. Joe McIlhaney’s powerful and important book Hooked.

Guys, develop your communication skills so that you can engage in meaningful conversations with others, especially those of the opposite sex - this will help you navigate relationships where you desire to maintain a proper level of purity.

One more thing can lower your inhibitions and put you in a situation to compromise your purity in a relationship - alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t help you make good decisions - so be careful.

It’s better to be single wanting to be married…than married and wanting to be single.

Guest: Grayson Frank

8 of out 10 teens believe they will cohabitate later in life - living together before you get married is a terrible idea and ends up compromising the health and well-being of the marriage relationship!

What things were you looking for in a spouse?

1. She had her mind made up, she was confident in who she was regardless of who else would be in the picture.

1 Samuel 16:18 - I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.

How important is it to be physically attracted to the other person?  Take into consideration the wisdom of Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

How do you prepare yourself for marriage?

1. Take on the mindset that you are getting ready to be in a serious, other-centered relationship.

What are you doing during your season of singleness to prepare yourself for marriage - are you serving others, sacrificing for the betterment of someone or something other than yourself?

Grayson - what would Christ be doing in your current situation - in your job, with your resources, etc…WWJD, what would Jesus do?!

Singleness doesn’t have to be a lack of enjoyment in life, but you have to begin to develop an “other-centered” mindset!

Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to [email protected]

Guest: Grayson Frank

8 of out 10 teens believe they will cohabitate later in life - living together before you get married is a terrible idea and ends up compromising the health and well-being of the marriage relationship!

What things were you looking for in a spouse?

1. She had her mind made up, she was confident in who she was regardless of who else would be in the picture.

1 Samuel 16:18 - I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.

How important is it to be physically attracted to the other person?  Take into consideration the wisdom of Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

How do you prepare yourself for marriage?

1. Take on the mindset that you are getting ready to be in a serious, other-centered relationship.

What are you doing during your season of singleness to prepare yourself for marriage - are you serving others, sacrificing for the betterment of someone or something other than yourself?

Grayson - what would Christ be doing in your current situation - in your job, with your resources, etc…WWJD, what would Jesus do?!

Singleness doesn’t have to be a lack of enjoyment in life, but you have to begin to develop an “other-centered” mindset!

Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to [email protected]

Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd

Chapter 7 Singleness and Marriage

Paul was probably single, Jesus was a single man - singleness is not a curse or a weakness - it can truly be a gift in terms of time and single-minded attention and devotion to service to the Lord.

Singleness and marriage are both good and valuable and both should be dedicated to serving the Lord.

Gabe - your identity is not in being single. Your identity is that you’re a follower of Jesus. Put your identity in the things that won’t/can’t change.

Keller gives some excellent wisdom for a person who is single. If you understand the value and role of marriage, it will help you understand how you should navigate being single.

Chapter 8 Sex and Marriage

Keller - why does God confine sexual activity exclusively to marriage?

Mike - sex in marriage is a way to actually know God.

Dan - Christianity is not anti-sex or teaching a principle that sex is repressive - Christianity presents the most freeing and fulfilling concept of human sexuality possible - the way God designed it to be!

Sex without marriage is like eating food without tasting or swallowing it.

Mike - his Pope John Paul statement that porn doesn’t show too much, but too little. Think about that!

Gabe - quoting Martin Luther - you can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. The idea is that you can’t avoid temptation, but you still have a choice as to whether you’ll pursue that temptation and act on it or if you’ll fight against it.

Dan - sex is akin to super glue - be careful what you stick to - because when you rip two things apart that have become one, it’s very, very harmful and damaging!

Mike - encouragement to surround yourself with true friends who will speak truth to you!

Mike - if you’re struggling, ASK for help.

Guest: David Salas

Thomas Watson - “Great men are the mirror by which ordinary men dress themselves.”

Who are the “great men” that you would want to emulate their lives?

“Older men” includes more than just guys who are older in age than you - some guys might be “younger” than you, but they still are doing things that you can learn from!

Theodore Roosevelt - “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But healthy comparison can be an important measuring rod against which you compare your life and progress in specific areas.

In our current culture, boys are encouraged (manipulated) to stay stuck in “adolescence” - not mature, not grow up, not become the MEN that God has designed!

Psalm 144:12 - May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace

David’s #1 - CS Lewis, author, cultural commentator - check out the wide variety of his writings - from kids books like The Chronicles of Narnia, to apologetics like Mere Christianity, to sci fi like his Space Trilogy.

J. Budziszewski - The Revenge of Conscience, What We Can’t Not Know

Dan’s #1 - William Wilberforce, Member of Parliament, almost single-handedly abolished slavery in England - check out Eric Metaxas’ book Amazing Grace about Wilberforce (and see the movie with the same title) or read Wilberforce’s own words in A Practical View of Christianity.

David’s #2 - Adoniram Judson, Jr., American missionary to India and several other countries. Learn more about Judson by reading To the Golden Shore or find him in the series of Christian Heroes.

Dan’s #2 - Frederick Douglass, former enslaved person, social reformer, author, friend of President Lincoln - read more about Douglass in The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass or read his own words in The Collected Works of Frederick Douglass.

David’s #3 - Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, orator, writer, artist. To learn more about Churchill, check out Stephen Mansfield’s book Never Give In or watch Gary Oldman win Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Churchill in Darkest Hour. David’s recommendation for reading is The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson.

Dan’s #3 - John Quincy Adams, sixth President of the United States AND Congressman! The book that I loved about his battle against slavery was Arguing about Slavery by William Lee Miller. Another excellent book is The Remarkable Education of John Quincy Adams by Phyllis Lee Levin. The movie I couldn’t think of during the podcast is Amistad.

Who are your “cloud of witnesses” - the men (and women) who have gone before you and passed the baton along to you - that you seek to emulate? Think about what it means to be a man, look for men who have or are living a life worth emulating, and learn more about them.

Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to [email protected]

Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd

Chapter 5 Loving the Stranger

Love CHANGES us - and the commitment (covenant) will carry us through the changes!

Keller - to be fully known and fully loved is our greatest desire.

Keller - …while your character flaws may have created mild problems for other people, they will create major problems for your spouse and your marriage.

Keller - …you must realize that it isn’t ultimately your spouse who is exposing the sinfulness of your heart – it’s marriage itself.

Keller - Don’t resist this power that marriage has. Give your spouse the right to talk to you about what is wrong with you.

Mike - my spouse is there to help me be a better version of myself - weaknesses are opportunities for growth!

Gabe - the opportunity for growth and development in marriage should excite you!

Gabe - serving others is the easiest way to kill pride.

Chapter 6 Embracing the Other

Mike - we’re talking about the “s” word, and that’s not sex, it’s submission.

Both Tim and Kathy Keller share in the book how they came into their marriage with very different views of submission and authority. Communication and commitment (covenant) are the keys to working through those differences.

Kathy Keller - submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced of me.

Gabe - as the husband, my gift back is to lead well.

Dan - Christianity elevated women - now they have the choice to submit, from the position of equality - much different than the cultural concept where women were subservient because they were less than men

Guest: Dave Moore

Qualifications for Overseers from 1 Timothy 3:2-7

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Dave - how do we really measure if a man is “hospitable”?

Moore Engaging - Dave’s website for his Two Cities Ministry along with his wife Doreen.

Functions of an Elder:

• Acts 6 - an elder should give himself to prayer and the word of God

• 1 Peter 5 - and people who prove themselves to be an example (people want to emulate them)

How do you develop (and deepen) your prayer life? “Palpable desperation.” Do you need God to do something or can you manage life on your own? Are you putting yourself in a ministry position where you need God to help you? Dave’s “magic wand” - everyone has to either teach the Word of God or share their faith - then watch their prayer life increase!

Check out this video of Dave Moore: https://vimeo.com/754521773

Dave - a good diagnostic (test, evaluation) is actually learning to answer questions that other people have - are you equipped, are you doing the work necessary to be able to engage others in a meaningful discussion about the faith?

Dave - all good discipleship is usually undoing some bad discipleship.

Aspiring to the office of an elder is a noble thing! If you’re not looking to mature in your walk, grow in the grace and mercy of God, then what are you doing?!

Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to [email protected]