True Northing Podcast

Not every relationship situation has a clean exit — and sometimes, staying is the reality you're navigating, at least for now. In this episode, Kristen and Allison explore how you can access and maintain your own sense of internal safety while remaining in a relationship that isn't fully meeting your emotional needs.

They talk through what it actually looks like to stay honest with yourself about the relationship's reality — without spiraling into denial or self-abandonment. You'll hear how to recognize your own overfunctioning patterns, why feelings like grief, disappointment, and anger are part of the process, and practical ways to build self-care, independence, and outside support so you're not relying on the relationship alone to feel okay.

This episode is for anyone who's ever felt like leaving wasn't the right move yet, but staying quiet and shrinking wasn't either. Kristen and Allison offer a third option: staying rooted in yourself, whatever you decide next.

In this episode:

• How to access and hold onto your own sense of safety while in a difficult relationship

• Why honesty and acceptance of "what is" matters more than forcing change

• How to spot your own overfunctioning patterns — and take ownership of them

• The role grief, disappointment, and anger play in real healing

• Practical strategies for self-care, independence, and building outside support

• Why acceptance — of the relationship and of yourself — is key to sustainability

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow us on Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

There's a question so many people carry quietly — sometimes for years:

Is what I'm experiencing in my relationship supposed to feel this hard?

In this deeply honest and clinically grounded episode, Allison and Kristen explore one of the most important distinctions in any relationship: the difference between challenge that grows you and dysfunction that slowly breaks you down.

Because not every hard relationship is a bad one. And not every relationship that feels comfortable is a healthy one. The difference lies in something much deeper — the foundation.

We'll cover:

·       Why relationships are designed to illuminate what is unhealed in us — and what to do with that

·       The difference between conflict that expands your capacity and conflict that drains your life force

·       Why "true adult love is easy" — and what that actually means (it's not what you think)

·       How choosing a partner from your wounding sets up a specific kind of relational journey — and the two very different ways that journey can unfold

·       The crucial distinction between healthy growth and what Allison calls "over-spiritualizing" — taking on more and more self-reflection while your partner remains unchanged

·       The line that changes everything: "Healthy growth costs you your false self. Dysfunctional growth costs you your true self."

·       How to know if you're growing — or collapsing

·       What a healing foundation actually looks like, and how to know if yours has one

Emotional maturity isn't about being perfect. It's about being consistent — taking ownership, showing up accountably, and doing the work of repair when things go wrong. In this episode Allison and Kristen unpack what emotional maturity really means, how to recognize it in a partner, and what to do when it's missing. This one is a must-listen for any woman who has ever wondered why love sometimes just isn't enough.

You've heard about emotional intelligence. You've heard us talk about emotional capacity. But emotional maturity is its own conversation — and it might be the most important one yet.

Because here's the truth: someone can be smart about emotions and still not show up consistently. Someone can have good intentions and still refuse accountability. Someone can care deeply and still make everything your fault.

That's not a capacity problem. That's an emotional maturity problem.

In this episode, we break down exactly what emotional maturity is, how it differs from emotional intelligence and emotional capacity, and why understanding the difference could change everything about how you evaluate your relationship.

You'll learn:

• The clearest signs of emotional maturity in a partner — and what its absence actually looks like day to day

• Why someone can have high emotional intelligence and still be emotionally immature

• How emotional maturity shows up in conflict, repair and accountability

• Whether emotional maturity can be developed — and what that actually requires

• How to honestly assess where you and your partner are on this journey

Whether you're evaluating a current relationship, healing from a past one, or dating and trying to choose more wisely this time — this episode will give you a framework that brings everything into focus.

Resources:—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow us on Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

Why does someone seem emotionally available while dating but become resistant to growth after marriage?

In this episode, we discuss emotional capacity in relationships, attachment patterns, defenses, and the difficult question many women face: Should I help my partner heal, or accept that they may never want the same kind of relationship I do?

We explore why emotional capacity can seem to disappear over time, how hormones and projection shape early attraction, and the difference between a partner's initial capacity and their actual long-term capacity.

Learn:

• Why emotional capacity changes over time

• The #1 predictor of relationship success

• How projection and hormones affect early relationships

• Why defensiveness and shutdown happen

• Communication and acceptance strategies for navigating mismatched growth in marriage

If you've ever wondered whether your partner is struggling, shut down, or simply unwilling to do the work, this episode will help you understand the difference—and what to do next.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow us on Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

Leaving a relationship isn’t just a personal decision—it often feels like a public one. In this episode, therapists Kristen and Allison unpack why walking away can come with so much guilt, shame, and second-guessing, even when it’s the healthiest choice.

We explore how societal expectations—especially around marriage, family, and gender roles—can distort the narrative, casting the person who leaves as the “villain.” You’ll hear why blame so often falls on the one who steps away, and how that story can overlook the effort, pain, and attempts to repair that came long before the decision to leave.

We also dive into the role of anger in relationships—not as something to suppress, but as a powerful signal that something deeper isn’t being met. And we take a closer look at the double standards that shape how men and women are judged when relationships end.

If you’ve ever wondered whether leaving means failing—or if you’re carrying guilt for choosing yourself—this conversation offers clarity, validation, and a more compassionate way to understand your decision.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why leaving a relationship can feel like “giving up”

• The impact of societal judgment and stigma

• How blame gets assigned—and why it’s often misplaced

• Gender dynamics and double standards in breakups

• Understanding anger as a meaningful emotional signal

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow us on Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

In this episode, we continue the conversation from our previous discussion about leaving relationships that no longer feel healthy or aligned. If you’ve ever wondered “Why didn’t they just leave?” or asked yourself that same question, this episode explores the deeper layers behind that struggle.

We unpack the invisible forces that can keep someone stuck — including low self-worth, unconscious beliefs about deserving love, social stigma, shame, and the confusion that can arise when a partner’s behavior keeps us emotionally hooked.

Together we explore:

• The internal beliefs that can make leaving feel impossible

• How confusion and mixed signals can keep us attached

• The role of shame and social expectations

• Why someone might choose to stay — and why they might decide to go

This episode offers compassion, clarity, and a deeper understanding of the complex emotional landscape of difficult relationships.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow our Podcast Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

This week on True Northing, we’re talking about something so many mothers quietly carry:

Why do kids often take their emotions out on mom?Why is it that a child can be regulated, respectful, and “fine” everywhere else… only to unravel the moment they’re back with us?

In this episode, Kristen shares vulnerably about a real-life parenting challenge she’s navigating — loving a child who thrives in other environments but seems to save their biggest emotions just for her.

Together, we explore:

• Why moms often become the emotional landing place

• What dysregulation with a primary caregiver can actually signal

• The role of attachment and emotional safety

• What might be happening beneath the behavior

• How to parent through those hard, triggering moments without losing yourself

We talk about the tension of asking, “What am I missing?” while also learning to see these moments not as rejection — but as relationship.

If you’ve ever felt like you get the worst of your child while everyone else gets their best… this conversation is for you.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow our Podcast Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

This week, we’re sharing what’s alive for us — the real-time lessons, themes, and initiations we’re currently moving through.

We explore what it means to live from the understanding that truth is love — not harshness, not performance, not self-protection — but love. We talk about the kind of truth that softens instead of hardens, and how alignment feels in the body when it’s rooted in love rather than fear.

We also dive into this reminder: your radiance is for you, no one else. What shifts when your expression isn’t for approval, validation, or impact — but simply because it’s true?

And finally, we sit inside the tension of the in-between. The space where clarity hasn’t arrived. Where transitions are happening, but direction isn’t fully formed. How do you live, decide, and trust yourself when the next step isn’t obvious?

This is a conversation about integration, becoming, and letting love lead — even (and especially) when the path isn’t clear.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing—Follow our Podcast Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

Why is it so hard to leave a relationship — even when you know it’s not right?

In this episode, we explore the deep attachment and neurobiological forces that keep us bonded to partners long after the connection has become painful, confusing, or unfulfilling. You’ll learn how love impacts the brain, why breakups can feel like withdrawal, and how your nervous system can mistake familiar pain for safety.

But we go beyond the science.

We also look at the emotional patterns that may be quietly keeping you stuck — like trying to finally feel heard, accepting breadcrumbs because they feel familiar, or believing deep down that the love you truly want might not be available to you.

This conversation is an invitation to reflect, not judge. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I just walk away?” this episode will help you understand yourself with more compassion and clarity.

You’re not weak. You’re wired for connection. And understanding those wires can help you choose differently.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow our Podcast Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]  

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.

Feeling overwhelmed, stuck in a hard season of life, or like everything is out of control? In this episode, we talk about how to stay grounded and emotionally steady when life feels chaotic and uncertain.

In this off-the-cuff episode of the True Northing Podcast, Kristen and Allison sit down for an honest conversation about what it feels like to live through “stormy seasons” of life.

Using the archetype of The Storm as a metaphor, they explore how chaos, uncertainty, and emotional upheaval often signal deep transformation — even when it just feels like everything is falling apart. They talk about the very real struggle of wanting control, the discomfort of surrender, and the emotional work of letting go of what no longer fits who we’re becoming.

The conversation weaves through personal growth, nervous system regulation, and the pressure many mothers feel to be the emotional anchor for everyone else — even while weathering their own internal storms. Kristen and Allison share reflections on finding moments of steadiness in unstable times, why self-care is actually a form of responsibility (not indulgence), and how community helps us remember we’re not meant to ride out hard seasons alone.

If you’ve been feeling stretched, unsettled, or in the middle of change you didn’t exactly sign up for, this episode is a reminder: storms reshape the landscape — and you’re not the only one learning how to stand in the rain.

Resources:

—Shop LOAM for all things good for you and the Earth www.shoploam.com

Connect with us!

—Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: ⁠youtube.com/@truenorthing

—Follow our Podcast Instagram: Instagram.com/@truenorthingpodcast

—Have A Question You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Send us a note to [email protected]

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast.