Trust the Bachelor Process

It’s night one of Colton’s season of the Bachelor and the women have come ready to play! They’ve brought butterflies, they’ve brought costumes, they’ve brought more virginity jokes than we ever thought possible!

We back, baby! Sarah and Alex have come out of hiding just in time for the inevitable dumpster fire (Dean’s words) that will be Colton’s season of the Bachelor! They prepped and ready to give the people what they want...a Fantasy draft based on their unsubstantiated takes! They are joined by comedian Mike McLendon who helps them sort through which women will most likely be able to tolerate his virginity.

What. A. Summer. Luckily, Ruthie Holmes (Truth or Dare) joined TTBP this week to relive it all! Can you believe it’s over? Honestly, thank god. But also, it was the best. Followed by the most stressful 48 hours of our entire lives!! Bekah is pregnant, Amanda is arrested, and Chris R and Krystal are likeable now?! Paradise has a way of bringing out the best in people.. unless the producers turn you into a villian. Unfortunately, Jenna didn’t need any help showing off her evil side.

We’re nearing the end of our Paradise summer and things are even more messed up than usual. First Colton is the new Bachelor, then Kevin has to watch his ex-girlfriend get engaged right before his eyes, next Shu is a witch, and now Venmo John might be without a makeout buddy this week?! The human heart can only handle so much.

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Please welcome to the stage… Grocery. Store. BITCH. And then Leo threw his drink, moment was over, and we’ve all moved on. Which seems to be a common theme in season of the Bachelor. This week, TTBP was joined by the wonderful Will Roth (Abbey’s) to discuss the ups and the downs, the twists and the turns, and the new strategies for schoolyard bullies. The tides are changing in paradise and no one seems safe - except for Venmo John shockingly.

It’s week 3 in Paradise and things are getting awkward for pretty much everyone but Neysha. No one knows which way is up, who goes down, what’s in a name - you get it. They are a group of people who cannot make up their minds. That’s exactly what we said. Now unfortunately TTBP is starting to lose faith in most of their paradise companions, but as long as we have nice Kenny, we know we’ll be okay.

Another sunny week in paradise and to our surprise, all the couples have already swtiched. It’s hard to keep up with this weaved web when everyone involved is pretty hard to watch in the first place. Nevertheless, we followed as best we could and found some of our past villains aren’t as bad we thought. And the only thing we have to say to that is, JORDAN, HOW COULD YOU?!

Knock on heavens door, and what do you fine? All of our fav (and some un-favs) from Bachelor Nation looking hot on a beach other! That’s definitely our version of paradise, and this first week had us reaching for more. The gang’s all here and already pretty coupled up. We even have two love triangles in the first day! Our paradise start to open up about their pasts, but we still have so many questions that need to be answered - Who will Tia choose? Does she even have a choice? Will anyone get engaged?

Bachelor-loving couple Mike Levin and Alyssa Litman join us to unpack the finale as well as the entirety of Becca’s season. We comb through all the fine details in order to get answers to our bigger questions. Examples include: What does Garrett’s Mom’s lamp say about the longevity of their relationship? And how long was the pause between Blake saying “I’m crazy” and “about Becca.” Becca picked a subpar man, but did she do it for the greater good of America?

It’s that time of year when all the men return to a shared space and (un)confidently flex their masculinity! Only this time they’re kind of on their best behavior? And do a good job showing compassion towards one another? When did everyone on this show become so sympathetic!? Mike McLendon joins us to discuss Jason’s unofficial Bachelor audition, Jordan’s pre-show rewrites and (throwback) Brit Nilsson’s amazing hair.