Trust the Bachelor Process

Sarah and Alex will return with new episodes on May 8th!

Well, we made it you guys, and in the words of Chris Harrison… “that. was. wild.” And now is the time we come together to dissect every press appearance, research every social media post, and speculate if these people are actually in love, or lying to us all. One thing we know for sure, Colton is definitely no longer a virgin because no real human could hide the shame of de-purifying yourself on national TV. Whatever happens, we just hope Colton and Cassie can find love within themselves. And until that happens, at least we have Hannah Beast to hold us over with what could possibly be the most awkward season in Bachelorette history. We’re off for a few weeks but Cassie, if you need help while we wait, please give us a sign. Cheers!

It happened! It really, really happened! It’s. Fence. Time babyyy, and life will never be the same. Luckily Jackie Durruthy joined TTBP to discuss it at length, along with the devastating break up that shook us more than the infinite Peter/Rachel debacle. Lines were crossed, things were said, tears were shed, and father across the nation were flying to Portugal to stop their daughters from making huge mistakes. Now all we can do is wait. Will Colton make it back over the fence? Will he learn to love himself? Will Matt Randolph ever give his blessing? Thank god for Demi to help us through these trying times.

It’s hometown week which means it’s time for Colton to lie to at least three fathers about wanting to propose marriage to their daughters.  Luckily, for humanity’s sake, they all respond as if Colton were crazy. Where are the mothers in this equation?  Who cares!? Their opinions don’t matter. Shane Lennon (Playing Favorites Podcast) joins us this week to talk bread etiquette, bikini-pant combos and whether or not it’s appropriate to slow dance in the dark whilst your girlfriends childhood home movies play in the background. We’re so close to the fence jump. We can feel it.

The season is finally in motion, and we know that because Colton is using camera selfies as his primary mode of exposition to tell us. Fortunately for the audience, the show is jam-packed with the country’s best comedians. Unfortunately for the comedians, none of the women know who they are. Jackie Gonzalez Durruthy joins us this week to compare and contrast Colton’s good decisions (Not kissing Heather!) with his bad ones (Giving into Demi’s Robe Schtick!).