Tummy Time

The First Las Vegas Special! That's right, the boyz are living large in Vegas (for work). Join us in our fancy suite as we regale you with the many amenities: from a massage room, to the bidet, and all the way to an intimacy kit. And we dive DEEP into that intimacy kit - show you ALL the INs and OUTs. Scheduling conflicts prevented us from having a prostitute on the show but Jussy more than makes up for it by detailing the many bathrooms he's visited on this trip and tips and tricks on maximizing the flying experience. Did Justin proposition an adult star in Las Vegas? Did he self-pleasure at LAX? What's the easiest way to enter the Mile High Club? All this and more on this very special, very Vegas episode of Tummy Time.

We're expanding the Tummy Time cinematic universe with a special guest this episode! Welcome, Seaneila: chef, nurse, and Neil's little sister. Join the tummy crew as we grill Seaneila with the hard-hitting, highly integral journalism you've come to expect from the show. Justin asks Seaneila for relationship advice. So if you've wondered "How can I ensure that I die alone?" or "Optimal strategy to get a young one?", this podcast episode is for you. We take some strolls down memory lane as Seaneila reveals some fun, embarassing, and highly-scratchy stories from her past. Did she dress like Avril Lavigne? Was She Adorkable? And how is her current bedside manner now that she's a nurse? Relationship advice, some pertinent medical discussion (lowest balls), and cooking tips all packaged into one amazing guest. Come along for the ride and enjoy your weekly dose of Tummy Time.

Growing old is hard and your teeth fall out of your damb head. It's a fact of life. Sometimes, you have to get the teeth pulled to move forward. Justin is taking care of business and goes his ass to the dentist. Then they overcharge him. Such is life. Maybe he could have just visited the dude running a dentistry operation from his LaQuinta room at least that would have cost less. Community pools used to be a thing. Justin's hometown pool got shut down for some nefarious reasons. Back in the day, there was a day when you could invite your parent to eat lunch with you. You got to sit on the stage above the kids who didn't have parents and snack on McNuggets while starting down at your contemporaries eating their school-provided alternatives. Styles in the 90s were all over the place. We used to have to go places to have our pictures taken for us. Sometimes they would stage the wildest things. Before we leave you, Justin pitches his movie idea. Do you think it's too racey to be made in this day? It seems like a movie circa 2005 Comedy Central would produce. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

Welcome back to Tummy Time. We get deep in this one. Justin digs down and explores his ancestry in the shocking series conclusion of 'Can Justin Say It?' After we read the DNA test (spoiler alert, he is NOT the father), we discuss Justin's persuit of becoming a child actor. First step: headshot. Where can you get a headshot in the 90s in Southeast Texas? Only one place: Parkdale Mall. After aking his headshots, Justin is apparently entered into a competition: The Model of the Millennium. That's right. The whole millennium. Will he win? Watch to find out. Easter Sunday was a week or so ago and like a good son, Justin went to church, only to run into an awkward hookup he had years ago. Justin then regales us with his biblical knowledge and talks about the King of Foreskins. Speaking of foreskin, Justin had a botched circumcision. Did you know circumcisions come in different styles? Walmart removes a rad shirt which reminded Justin of Christmas morning, and we'll see you next Tummy Time.

We get right into it on this Tummy Time. Justin relives his time in LA and recalls his appearance on the Live Stand-Up Show: Kill Tony. Greg Fitzsimmons was the guest host this time around and subsequently recalls roasting a "homeless" guy when he was hosting Kill Tony. That homeless guy? None other than one, Mr. Justin Soileau. In spite of all that, Justin is back on the stand-up grindset and is vying for another shot at Kill Tony since the show has moved to Austin. Justin's still homeless, though. The boyz read a story about a lady who PR'ed with poop in her pants which reminded Justin of the time he pooped in the woods. We jump further back into childhood and recall hotel stays, motel stays, the life of a mathlete, and that time Jussy almost lost it in the janitor's closet. Broken bones, Richard Gere with gerbils, and an old lady cussing out kids on her school bus to round out the show. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

Tummy Time is back for another round. We had some listener feedback and we wanted to set the record straigh so at the top of the show, we call Curt, the impetus behind the infamous 'letter to my high school coach'. The man whose plying time was robbed - and boy, do we get answers. A Tennessee news anchor got fired for purportedly getting too handsy at multiple Christmas parties - oh, also she said 'Nizzle.' Speaking of which, Can Justin Say It? We go up and down Jussy's family tree in search of any semblance of a card. Maybe Scholastique Brown's got the answers. Speaking of Paris Syndrome, Justin went to Paris last year and had himself a nice McDate. We dive into the internet to reveal shirts that prove we care about Asians, strong muscle women, and porcelain that looks strongly vaginal. The Tummy Boyz opine about space travel. Angry note recommends driver gets their ass eaten. And while still on the Internet, Justin also likes cats. We move over to the masturbatorium and read some ancient newz about a dude in Pompeii's final act. Then onto sperm theft. Lots of it. Even in the Bible, Lot's of it. We finally wrap the whole burrito in a nice wholesome story about a threesome gone awry. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

We're starting this episode right with some certified giggles. A BBC reporter gets hotboxed, John Tesh is good at basketball (music), and a bungee jumper finds himself at the end of his rope. Cyst loves me! Neil's (literal) ass is looking for an invite on Dr. Pimple Popper. If Joe Biden wants to defeat Trump again, he's gonna have to bring the heat - let's hear the president's Hot Five. What if your medical records showed 'tiny dick'? Another insurance scam: they're gonna use your DNA test against you! Mark the tape. Who wants to win this guy's cum? Tummy Time is overly interested in the success of one man's game show. The most dangerous game! Micro penis sex positions and trick rulers: what not to bring to the company Christmas party. Rep Randy McNally can't help himself when he stumbles upon a rainbow and a ray of sunshine. Are women still getting lap dances from (the) Chris Brown in 2023? And we wrap the show with a Public Service Announcement, some lady peeing in a cop car, and Pat Sajak giving some dude a full nelson. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

Put up your dukes! Queensbury Rules in this episode of Tummy Time. Starting off the show with some extreme penis dating. Some like it small, some like it big, and fortunately, there are some niche sites for that. Jussie almost gets in a convenience store brawl but just gets called a Debbie Downer for not doing Tranq or buying purportedly legal and legit power tools from a van. Slap competitions and beach brawls are now quite the rage amongst the ladies. Justin is calling all comers down to Novrozsky's for a double helping of knuckle sammiches. Sink Piss Tour 2023 is currently in planning phase. What do you do when your high school football coach fails to recognize talent? Tell him! ...in a completely anonymous email that you own his fake-NFL-playing ass. In the 90s, you had to be careful about what ear you got pierced. Pollution is turning the flies gay, and asteroids are crashing to the earth, much like 1998's Armageddon. Buffalo Wild Wings boneless wings aren't wings! DQ doesn't serve ice cream, and a Florida french maid that ain't paid to clean! FIGHTING WORDS!