Tummy Time

Hold on-to your hats for this Tummy Time and maybe check out the video feed for this special show-and-tell podcast episode. Jussy brings in some playing cards from a dead pervert then reminisces about the many things he got from his Paw-Paw: his red beard, and a copy of Playboy's Foxiest Females. Vanna White is in this one! Jussy gives us his pick for foxiest female in the magazine then laments the look of his button penis in his shorts. We then discuss the pull of sink pissing and Justin gives some actually sound dating advice. Tila Tequila is doing fine. Continuing on with show-and-tell, Justin is one step closer to finding out if he can say IT. Tummy Time is ready to grow its audience so we're thinking up ways to promote the podcast. A clip inspired us and we'll see you at Starbucks for the next show. Tiger Woods sends girlfriend on all-expenses paid vacation. Except it wasn't a vacation and not even the airplane ticket was paid for. He just wanted her out of the house for a minute. China bans females from livestream lingerie modeling, a driver flips off a cop, and we'll see you next Tummy Time.

Welcome back to Tummy Time and boy, do we have something special going on. Justin is going to take a 23 and Me DNA test to find out if he's 100% that bitch. Depending on how much Cajun he has in him, he might be celebrating over some frog legs. We're still on Adam Sandler, no not the Evil Elmo Sandler. We're discussing his most problematic film - and it ain't Click. Pivot from Adam Sandler to murders: Famous Last Words, OJ on Alex Murdaugh, and two brothers murder groom after crashing his wedding. Yes, Wedding Crasholes. How I met your mummy. Lady Gaga, I thought 'no questions asked' meant you aren't gonna ask no questions. From no questions asked to don't ask, don't tell: how they gonna fire the weatherman for some webcam modeling? Looks like rain. We then round the show out with some Superbowl Entrapment and a little race play for pay.

We're getting our lay-down lick-on for this podcast episode. A long week forced a short turnaround and a somewhat casual affair. Justin went on a trip with friends who refused to let him enjoy 'Click'. Thor, the masturbating walrus has been spotted again. Ancient dildos lead to ivory dildos: a microcosm of the impacts of colonialism. Some dude with a small penis is happy with his sex life now that they've brought in another guy. Man with the world's largest tongue can paint with it - hey ladies! Butterfly kisses and buying used panties. Ben Stiller stays defending Tropic Thunder and the Blackface Within. Some Foreign Accent Syndrome cases are more severe than others. Cocksure may not mean what you think it means. Adam Sandler is Evil Elmo and loves basketball, much like NBA legend, Karl Malone. AI wants to be alive and we'll see you next Tummy Time.

The Tummy Time Boyz are back to kickstart your week. We start off by going back in time to watch quality USA Network Late Night Programming: Strip Poker. There was a Super Bowl this past week which featured a streaker with no cakes. Raquel Welch, famous for cakes, dies at 82. A European Blimp deffo got cakes. Maryland is finally considering decriminalizing oral in 2023 - maybe because the average penis size has increased over the last 30 years. Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Argentina are selling stuff on behalf of Fenty which beckoned the question: would you rather be a hot girl or a hot guy? There's a Twitter poll on this now. Speaking of hot or not, these couple of average couples swap partners because one mediocre wife with her set of problems truly isn't enough. National security: Pentagon employee susceptible to thirst traps and cakes on the platform. Would you eat sh*t? What if it was a bagel? Rosanne Barr's pronoun involves cakes. From blimps with cakes to balloons: guy who speaks with aliens assures us the balloons ain't got nothing to do with aliens. No, it's not Tom Delonge. How do you tell how old a hedge hog is? Snakes can hear you scream, Cara Delevigne.

Welcome back to Tummy Time. Justin's getting JACKED, sorry Soggy Ben. The boyz get meta and watch some Tummy Time clips on the Tummy Time podcast. Justin gets Emo before presenting some information about Dr. Jill Biden and Fist Gentleman, Doug Emhoff. Harken over to the Monkey corner: we got two monkey, we got twelve monkies, we got a solo monkey getting pregnant. Canadian ground hog found dead just in time for Ground Hog's Day to ensure eternal winter. A couple finds cute matching names for their twins, a Japanese artist makes body part accessories (not a sex thing?), and Hungry Jack's is now adults-only. A plumber is raising the tides, a golf ball gets removed and a couple of Leonardo (two different Leonardos) stories before we wrap it up with the highly-anticipated kiss scene from 'You People'.

Tummy Time Coming in hot! We got some kid stories, some dog stories, and a bevvy of basketball in this one, folks. We start off the top of the show with a gentle reminder to watch the Puppy Bowl which will not star Bobi, the current record holder for Oldest Dog. Poor Tom Brady, what ever will he do with his time in retirement? Justin played youth sports and won many award (singular) in his signature Olajuwons. Men start showing up at a lady's house looking for sex they purchased on the internet via Venmo. A shop lifter tries to bag a big ol' hog. Demons sing Rhianna songs in Hell. The Only Fans Teacher is plotting karmic revenge on her friend that ratted her out. Cousins get married, start OnlyFans content, and a kid orders too much food in order to promote his mom's bakery. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

Love is in the air as we take some trips down memory lane in this one. We first give you an update on Maegan Hall's career opportunities, then zoom out and see how the French really view Americans. Justin then brings us a sweet Valentine's Day story from before he had his own money. The Tummy Time Boys then pick up the local news wire and take a peek at what Killeen ISD is teaching middle schoolers. Dr. Buzz gets married, punches a commie, and gets called out by Fussy Jussy. PSA for new recruits, don't enlist because some thirst trap tells you to. She gets a recruitment bonus like those "ARMY" stores in strip malls. Speaking of strip malls, the Sheen/Richards residence has some mother-daughter OnlyFans collab coming down the pike. Pam Anderson is in the news because her PR team is trying to drum up some noise for her book. She spills the beans on Tim Allen's beans and Jack Nicholson's bean spilling. And we'll see you next Tummy Time.

Tummy Time is flying first class for this one. We kick things off with some classic dating advice from the 1930s. Justin regales us with both his lukewarm reception on flying first class for the first time and his undying love for the Q-tip. Salt is both a Christian Dating App and what we feel for Norm MacDonald's placement on Rolling Stone's SNL Top List. Barbara Walters talks about sex all the time and Alec Baldwin refuses to accept man's laughter charges. Remember the royal family? Yeah, Prince Harry waxes his todger with his dead mom's lip cream. Tennessee cops engage in wage theft, fired Wells Fargo pisser accuses dancers of constant incontinence, and the MLK statue: is it a dick? We wrap the show up with Marilyn Manson making a lady drink to much and Brian Walshe not thinking enough. We'll see you next Tummy Time.

Welcome back for your weekly session of Tummy Time! We start off with some 'shopped Monkey knockers and immediately start celebrating MLK Day by re-positing the question: Is Julia Roberts Still Not Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Daughter? Justin then reminisces about his first time getting low on the dance floor and Neil remembers how we used to be able to say 'skeet' on the radio. Harken further back into the annals of time to see what the hiring standards for airline hostesses were in the 1940s. What would you do if you were mistakenly told that you won $43 million dollars? Is life imprisonment too harsh of a sentence for merely partying? No pants day is a go in London and speaking of no pants, we have a lady whose no-pants activities are for the dogs. Also speaking of coming out, Gwen Stefani has come out as Japanese. We round the show out with some language gatekeeping and we'll see you next Tummy Time.

Welcome to Tummy Time! Top of the show, Justin brings in an internet throwback: Booty Warrior, Fleece Johnson. Neil brings some stock imagery search: cancer. Open-chan, 7-11's Taiwan (or Tai-ONE China) mascot goes for a little flight on opening day. Celine Dion sings a song to inspire Justin. Mike Post makes bank for every clank-clank you hear on Law & Order. Speaking of music, Afroman drops a hot track - was he inspired by Ronnie Millsap? In semi-local news, Louisiana stays messing up: now requiring ID for sites that contain 33.3% adult material. Justin lays down some advice on "Listen Up, Youngblood" and reminds the youths to verify their thirst trap is the actual person they purport to be. Pope Benedict and Barbara Walters died this week but Damar Hamlin did not. Hyper local news: stores are running out of tampons. We then wrap the show with a teen being cyber-bullied by her mom and Meghan Markle being lip-gloss-bullied by Kate Middleton.