Tummy Time

Post Christmas and Justin's got Covid! So we're trying out that remote podcast thing. How are you supposed to wear a hat? Flat billed or curled? Some more fond Christmas memories surface as Justin remmebers that time his brother-in-law slapped his cousin's ass thinking it was his sister. Art wants to know if Justin's sister and cousin have similar asses. Is Papa Roach cool? Jussy is listening irregardless of that fact. More Papa, More Roach. How would you like your news delivered because Neil may have found the guy with the perfect tone for today's news coverage. The Tummy Time Boyz beat WatchMojo to the punch and hit the listeners with the much requested Top 5 Dicks of the Animal Kingdom. Speaking of animal dicks, did you know that roosters don't have cocks? Moving onto the news, Justin reports on fake parking tickets, and how Moms get Christmas gifts from Dads. Bill Cosby is looking to make the rounds again. Is he opening for Dave Chappelle?! Florida Dominatrices/Daft Punk impersonators request a sex dungeon. A man, a plan, his canal: insert decommissioned World War II mortar here. Samuel Jackson likes porn, maybe he wanted a banana cleaner for Christmas? OJ was on a podcast, Lindsay Lohan is starting a podcast - neither of which are Tummy Time.

This turkey needed a little longer in the oven. But thank goodness it's ready! We start the top of the podcast with a recap of the World Cup and Argentina's BIG win. Justin is offered a one-way ticket to titty jail. Will he take it? Alicia Silverstone for PETA and what Neil does with leather. We then divert attention to the 45th president and what he's been up to. Also, would YOU have dinner with Trump? The boyz bring footage of a wedding they were not invited to. Human Santapede came out 8 years ago, and Coke apologized for a bottle cap fiasco at roughly the same time. The newz coverage continues on with another 2015 story about Indiana citizens gaining the ability to shoot the cops. Justin answers what the listeners are clamoring for: how do you stay young? Neil offers the customary grundle check reminder. For now, lay off the spinadge and we will see you next Tummy Time!

Welcome to Tummy Time. This Tummy Time around, we start off by brainstorming a pitch deck for Gary, Indiana. We then really get going on a horny note provided by a 30-something Internet Love Sleuth. Justin gives relationship advice and asks us to rate dead people. Neil continues the questioning of whether or not Justin is, in fact, a shmo. The boyz dive deep into merkins and pudendum before talking about sex robots and designer nipples. A family digs up their grandma and the boyz cannot believe it. Justin and Neil demo new segments: Butt or Not Butt and Listen Here, YoungBlood. Cave drawings, inappropriate language on television, and fun to be had by all.

The Tummy Boyz meet again for your weekly pulse check. Justin starts the show off on - surprise, surprise - a horny note. However, he reveals he would not take a punch from a woman and being the consummate feminist, he'd have no qualms reporting her to the police. Justin and Neil harken back a year to remember that every day there's an office Christmas party lap dance. Remember Mononucleosis? Neil gets a mysterious call about the book deal he was never working on. Jussy bombed on stage by sharing a heartwarming story of childhood and personal growth. Justin shows Neil how a wedding is SUPPOSED to go before touching on the Britney Griner for Viktor Bout trade. Free condoms, dancing with corpses, and fecal slurry round out the show before the boyz browse Jussy's YouTube history and give final thoughts on shipping Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

Justin and Neil get greasy on this one. Before getting into the meat and potatoes of workers' rights, Justin primes the pump with pulse checks on a strung out hot judge and a hand bra laden Britney Spears. Neil is beleaguered by the shift in Internet Culture. Liam Gallagher has some things to say about stuff during the FIFA World Cup US v Great Britain game. Justin and Neil reminisce about their time in the sun a la Talent Shows and Battle of the Bands before munching on some wall-to-wall Waffle House. The Tipping Point: Don't Tip. The Philanthropic Tummy Boyz discover a hidden facet in a throwback Internet clip (the one with the Kangaroo). Justin and Neil travel the skies along with Marky Mark as they try to stop a Southwest passenger from opening the airplane door. Just like 9/11. Some real-ass twins make an appearance in the headlines and reveal their secrets on how to stay looking young. Meth Monks, hand in your frocks, you're a loose cannon. UPDATE: OnlyFans Teacher. And to top it all off, a German Woman shuts off her hospital roommates' ventilator.

Justin tests Neil's manhood by showing him spicy videos of two senior citizens: Martha Stewart and Julia Fox. Then, the boys discuss baby chiropractors. Neil tries to get Justin to watch that Ancient Apocalypse show. Neil's sister tries to hook Justin up with a shorty. The Tummy Boys do a Pepsi Challenge. They talk about the Netflix show, "Pepsi, Where's My Jet", the Ad Council's conspiracy to sell more Fentanyl, Teen Wolf (1985), a 5 year old's birthday party at Hooters, the smoothest Veteran on the planet, no beer at the Qatar world cup, good gimps versus bad gimps, emotional support pigs, Wienerschnitzel, and Chance the Rapper (Crapper.)

Neil starts a conspiracy theory about Discount Tire. Justin and Neil break down some data from recent Tummy Time clips. Justin explains the difference between white halftime shows and "halftime shows of color." Then the boys talk about antitrust, Bhad Baby's blackfishing, the Ripley's Believe It or Not dick-nose, the death of a watermelon comedian, the Chinese smoker running man, another Only Fans teacher, hooker ghosts, the FTX polyamorous cult, @Mugshawtys, a Gabby Petito clue on Jeopardy!, and Justin teases a patreon video where they watch the porn that has one of his songs in it.

Neil and Justin reminisce about the old internet. Justin recalls the time he met Aaron Carter. The Tummy Time Boys hate when people call them on the phone. Justin talks about the time he did ecstasy and high-jacked an indie folk concert. The boys talk about Nick Cannon's new baby, Khloe Kardasian's new baby, bushy eye brows, a politician's sex tape, and a butt plug made out of a dead boyfriend's ashes.