THE PORT OF ANGELS! This iconic chapter in Twilight is brought to life by everyone's favorite eternally moody teen in Midnight Sun. We make some BIG realizations in this chapter involving the true reason why Edward should be a vegetarian and also that he is lowkey an X-man. And possibly we give some CRUCIAL ADVICE on how to avoid New Moon happening to YOU. Because it could. Happen to you.

Also Melissa recorded from a closet and we set up our recording wrong so we couldn’t take out us interrupting each other but we’re PROFESSIONALS so check out our patreon. Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast. Put us on your winter wish list!

Email us at [email protected] to tell us if you'd want to be able to read minds or not!!

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This week we pose a philosophical question: If we could have skipped this chapter and not noticed, does the chapter even exist at all? Immediately we are disabused of the notion that we might learn more about or from Charlotte and Peter, and instead get to hear more about Bella reading than we ever did from Bella. Then, surprised by ourselves, we stumble upon the deep and human relatability of Edward's inaccurate and paradoxical self loathing. Plus, you know, jokes and stuff.

Email us at [email protected] to tell us what you would do if you saw someone glittering irl.

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast. Put us on your winter wish list!

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We discuss a chapter that is p thin since Bella is doing interesting things and Edward is not, we learn Rosalie's very obvious secret, and there's this whole metaphor about Bella's lullaby. Also if humans are like potatoes, why is Edward attracted to one?

Email us to tell Melissa, again, that she should watch the movies (SHE HAS TO WATCH THE MOVIES) and whether you'd play Among Us with us at [email protected]

Treat yoself or a loved one to our bonus perks at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast and SHOP SMALL this wintry season! (Also head over to see the ornament Olivia's mom made.)

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BLOOD TESTS, Y’ALL. You know the chapter. You know the story. But now from a WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE. 

and woof fam, Eddie Boy is on a whole new level. Do humans eat lunch? Don’t ask this eboy with multiple medical degrees. Is your life worth anything if your eyes have no depth? Also don’t ask this same eboy. BUT do we have a whole new appreciation for Bella and the ~DEPTHS~ of her patience for stoopid boys?

Email us at [email protected] (and tell us how right we are)

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

Sometimes we post to social I guess @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram

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THX, BYEE

Y'ALL THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD. Edward gets humbled, goes to Bella's room for the first time, and then asks her on a DATE! And along the way he tells us of his many ~*~torments. 

Email us at [email protected].

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Is this a chapter with no flaws? Okay, not quite, because it starts out a little rough (Eddie, *we* can't read *your* mind), but in the end is it possibly the best chapter of the book?? We have multiple best sentences and not all of us can pick a worst! 

Most importantly EDWARD FINDS OUT HE LOVES BELLA. 

Thank goodness it's now the future #BidenHarris #sighofrelief #goodday!!

Email us at [email protected].

Don't forget our Patreon tiers are cheaper than ever--head on over for awesome bonus perks! Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast 

Catch us on social if you want to see content we sometimes remember to post: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

We enter Chapter three of Midnight Sun and BOY does our boy have some ~feelings~! And he can't explain any of them! But we know what's going on—Eddie wants to SMOOCH. And while we, the ladies of Twilight Phase, love talking about smooching, we also try our hand at ~science~ in this episode. How fast do you have to travel to be invisible?? If you're going that fast, wouldn't anyone you manhandle be pulverized?? 

Only the important questions here.

Happy Samhain/Halloween to our ghoulish listeners, and don't forget to VOTE!

Email us at [email protected], especially if you also like talking about smooching.

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast (Now updated to be cheaper than ever!!)

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Chapter two of Midnight Sun is upon us and WOW does anyone else smell angst up in here??? Go along for the ride as Edward lays in the snow for six days like an emo nerd, sulks around the cafeteria like an emo nerd, doesn't eat Bella in biology which is actually a real accomplishment (!!!!), and then pouts in his car for an hour like an emo nerd. 

Email us at [email protected] ESPECIALLY if you are an expert in anything at all

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

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We’re back, nerds!! We had our vacation, and we’re just as grumpy and sleepy as always so hold on tight—we’re here for SEASON 3, Y’ALL!

MIDNIGHT. SUN.

That’s right. We read it when it came out, gave you our hot take, and now we’re gonna read it again but get DIRTY in those details.

In this ep, we discuss chapter one, and WOOF surprise we have opinions about everything, including but not limited to the subjunctive tense, em dashes, edward being the dumbest boy in school, and the idea that humanity is both sacred AND pathetic.

It’s good to be back.

Email us at [email protected] (and tell us how right we are)

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

Sometimes we post to social I guess @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram

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THX, BYEE

We were shocked, awed, and devastated to learn that SMeyer did not invent vampire content. Hang with us as we discuss the following vamp lore!!!

The Little Vampire

A Discovery of Witches

Vampires Never Get Old

Vampire Diaries

Coldest Girl in Coldtown

What We Do in the Shadows

Email us at [email protected] (‘cause I’m sure one of us will still check the ol’ inbox even though we’re on vacation. We are really into the attention, thx)

Don't forget that we accept cash dollar bills for a variety of extra content over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

Sometimes we post to social I guess @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram

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