Two Assholes and a Mic

Two Assholes and a Mic

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Two Assholes and a Mic episodes

  • S2E21 - Technical Difficulties, Tobacco Flavours, and Satellite Seeds

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    In S1E21, we fight through another round of technical difficulties, audio delays, reconnecting issues, and Ian’s car trying to hijack the Bluetooth mid-recording. Once we finally get rolling, we talk watermelon flavors, Robby’s LEGO zombie Captain America build, weird word mix-ups, missing LEGO parts, Joy’s legendary pronunciations, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, and whether Robby needs a Maine Coon to handle the mouse situation in his garage. We also get into Roxy and Slinky getting brushed, picking up a new Spotify follower, upcoming guests, Slingshot towing and diagnostics, dealership fees, SpaceX and Starlink satellite launches, rocket test explosions, garage wasps, mud daubers, F-35s flying overhead, and why F-15s still sound louder than damn near everything. 

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    28 min
  • S2E20 - Lost Audio, Coffee Memories, and Thunderstorm Watch

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    In S2E20, we start by talking through the joys of recording issues, missing audio, Bluetooth problems, and the mystery of why some spam calls kill the track and others don’t. From there, we get into missing LEGO pieces, memories of Joy, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, whether cats are useful house tools, overly happy coffee shop workers, and why Green Bean coffee downrange still hits different. We also talk about Robby’s otter-like dog Slinky, mowing windows between rainstorms, missing proper thunderstorms, watching for tornadoes from the garage, a wild lightning strike story, giant wasps, mosquito bites, and the important debate of whether you “itch” or “scratch” your leg. 

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    23 min
  • S2E19 - Driving Tests, Science Tricks, and Movie Quotes

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    In S2E19, we start with Ian passing his UK driving theory and hazard perception test, including why the hazard section feels odd when you’ve already been driving for years. We also talk about Kirstie getting back into work, Ian helping out at the Suffolk Show with science activities for kids, and then go off on a run of random movie quotes from Joe Dirt, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights. After that point, Robby’s audio track cuts out, but the conversation keeps rolling through spam calls, Brooke possibly becoming a feral cat whisperer, birthday plans, finding a local pub, the weird math behind only needing 33 one-on-one wins to be the last person on Earth, and how Instagram and Facebook somehow feed us completely different kinds of nonsense. 

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    15 min
  • S2E18 - Mustang Repairs, Beach Days, and Anime Tattoos

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    In S2E18, we talk through Robby redoing the Mustang shocks, helping with an oil change, and the never-ending debate between keeping things old-school or upgrading to coilovers. Ian recaps a packed beach day, a failed attempt at metal detecting, and a new tattoo idea involving Ultra Instinct Goku, Ultra Ego Vegeta, anime panels, and space-themed designs. We also get into LEGO side-hustle talk, old friends we should bring onto the podcast, classic car meets, and why the Slingshot might be too damn fun to sell. 

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    28 min
  • S2E17 - Das Boot, Wing Debates, and Dog Farts

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    In S2E17, we get into Ian forgetting to charge his smoke setup, Robby dodging another day of work, and the questionable origins of drinking beer from a boot. From there, we debate breaded versus naked wings, talk beard maintenance in the heat, check in on Ian’s mailed package, and spend a healthy amount of time discussing Roxy, Slinky, dog farts, guard-dog behaviour, and why watching dogs crunch through duck heads is apparently entertaining to both of us. 

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    26 min
  • S2E16 - LEGO Hustles, Mortgage Math, and the 72-Ounce Challenge

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    In S2E16, we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian’s house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation, we talk family life, hard water, housework, legal weed, Ian’s productive day at work, Robby’s never-ending Mustang repairs, and one fly that refuses to leave him the hell alone. 

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    26 min
  • S2E15 - Rattlesnakes, Gas Taxes, and Get the Hell Out

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    In S2E15, we kick things off with Robby’s garage run-in with a rattlesnake and Slinky’s questionable attempt to claim the kill. From there, we get into gas prices and the proposed federal gas tax suspension, remember the freedom of riding bikes everywhere as kids, talk LEGO side hustles, APO shipping restrictions, and finish with an update on Ian’s house purchase—and Robby’s very subtle message for the current owners. 

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    24 min
  • S2E14 - Retirement Taxes, Insurance BS, and the Neighbor’s Concrete Project

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    In this episode, we bounce from garage smoke, bong mishaps, and random weekend plans into a surprisingly real conversation about retirement, Social Security, taxes, and whether people should catch a break after working their whole lives. We also get into insurance headaches, hail damage, car plans, mystery construction next door, missed Wing Wednesday, future road trips, and the usual mix of family updates and random bullshit that somehow becomes a full conversation. 

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    22 min
  • S2E13 - Ducks, Desolate Roads, and Daily Drivers

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    In S2E13, we bring on Niko, aka Bean, and get into life after the military, work travel, living out in Georgia, raising ducks, and trying to balance a normal life with expensive car habits. We bounce through gas prices, EV frustration, Supras, GTR dreams, daily drivers, home projects, and the usual random turns into property, animals, retirement plans, and figuring out how much we really want to keep working. It’s another laid-back guest episode that feels like old friends catching up and talking shit about life, cars, and everything in between. 

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    28 min
  • S2E12 - Retirement Didn’t Stick

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    In S2E12, we bring on our friend and former coworker John Sweeney for a catch-up on life after the military. We get into retirement not going quite as planned, ending up back in management, running a gym, family plans, VA education benefits, moving after the kids are grown, and the usual random turns into chickens, goats, property taxes, drinking, and “time travel” stories. It’s a laid-back guest episode that feels more like old friends catching up than anything formal — which is exactly why it works. 

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    30 min

About Two Assholes and a Mic

From the publisher's feed

Just a two "normal dudes", having some drinks and having regular conversation. Conversations will vary, but are none-the-less comical. We will try to veer away from political and religious…