Two Black Eyes Podcast

The team tackles the complexity of the American family and it's ultimate dissolution. A man does whatever it takes to see his kids after an ugly divorce, i.e., being a WOMAN! Then it's assault, attempted murder, and basically kidnapping. A hilarious romp!

May the Force be with you! You'll need it as Shelly and I take on the Star Wars series sans the rest of the group. One of us has seen all of the Star Wars movies and the other had seen none. Some has a lot of 'splainin' to do. It's me.

The group takes on one of the top grossing movies of all time. And one of us didn't even have to see it to make those dollars! Anyway, we talk about Wakanda, vibranium, and how a hugely successful movie only had one white person in it. Maybe that will convince studios to be more diverse in their movie production. Nope. It won't. But we can dream. 

So strap in for the action adventure of the summer and for me to learn what it's even about. YEAH!!!!

The whole gang gets together to drink the holidays away while discussing the perennial classic, A Christmas Story. Being that we drank well before starting, many many other topics are discussed, but we do get those scenes in.

We're definitely going to need our mouths washed out with soap after this one. Ho ho ho. Don't shoot your eye out kids.

The gang watches their first Bollywood movie and LOVES IT! It's got romance, action, mystery, kung fu, everything! It's like 5 movies in 1. Listen in as we chat about the movie and improvise some comedy scenes based on what we saw.

Whoa! It's time to take the red pill or the blue pill improv fans. This episode we tackle the good, but at the same time confusing, sci-fi classic about recognizing the reality of the human condition. Oh, and a bunch of kung-fu camera panning action that makes your head explode.

Enter The Matrix!

A family is living in Africa for several months because of science? I think? Whatever, the two children find a cheetah cub whose mother was killed by poachers. Skip a few months and the kids are getting ready to go back to the U.S. and they are trying to figure out what to do with the cheetah that somehow hasn't eaten them all.

Long story short, some very questionably racist portrayals of ethnic people capture the animal to rig greyhound races. The kids skip their flight and travel the serengeti to get their friend back. I'm pretty sure everyone in this movie should be dead from any number of causes.

A woman inexplicably leaves her children for several months to dick around in Australia while some rando geriatric "takes care of them". Well, turns out some posters full of jugs and satanic references kills her, the money she was given is buried, and the family has to find a way to survive against all odds.

Come for the quotables, stay for the blatant sexual harassment by an . . . executive? Who knows. This movie is amazing. The dishes are done man.

The gang chats about their experience watching a movie in which an American girl takes the place of a famous Italian pop star even though she can't sing and doesn't have an Italian accent. Also there are cartoon vignettes for some reason. And her little brother is a full blown sex offender. You gotta hear it to believe it.

Another seriously nostalgic selection featuring young Ethan Embry as a hoity toity boarding school snob who even his other rich kid chums. He's fastidious, condescending, and overconfident. His mom's boyfriend, Ed O'Neill, decided to pick him up for Thanksgiving to bond with him. Queue an hour an a half of an adolescent and grown man stubbornly torturing each other and having the world's most dangerous pissing contest committed to film.

Hilarity ensues. This is a MUST WATCH and the episode a MUST LISTEN! Get to it!