Two Black Eyes Podcast

The H is definitely O. Other than the catch phrase, I don't remember what we talked about. This was a hell of a long time ago. Just enjoy the randomness and bonus comedy. Or else!!!

Tom Hanks stars in this hellish dystopian nightmare . . . wait they're just in the suburbs? Tom Hanks stars in the most accurate portrayal of living in the suburbs ever committed to film. Neighbors constantly watch each others' moves, talk behind everyones' backs, and care way too much about crap that is neither their business nor something anyone with anything better to do would even take a second glance at. Sorry, can you tell I live in a suburb?

Basically Tom Hanks lives the dream as his wife and kid leave on a separate vacation as he gets to screw off at his house and get into absurd shenanigans. Oh, and his neighbors are terrifying hillfolk who bury things in their yard at night. Part comedy, part horror, all entertaining. This is the movie that got Mr. Hanks out of Super Mario Bros. The Movie. He dodged a serious bullet. But that's for future discussions.

Enjoy!

Why wait? There are a few more practice sessions as bonus material, but here's our official improv4humans contest performance. In the wake of a water outage and near entire shutdown of Chapel Hill, NC, the Two Black Eyes Podcast powers through to give a stunning performance. This is the audio. Want the video too? Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY0K-Og1Ykc&t=20s

We delve into a babysitting classic in what will be one of the greatest trilogies of all time. What trilogy? Stay tuned to find out in a few more episodes. Let's just say, it's the most charming trilogy ever made.

Oh yeah, the movie. Elizabeth Shue tries to rescue her friend from a bus station in Chicago in the 80s (you know it's fiction because she somehow survives more than half an hour). Hijinks ensue as the babysitter must take the children with her on a wild road trip through the city. And a super young, ripped Vincent Donofrio as Thor? What's happening?

This is our last practice before the improv4humans contest peformance at DSI Theater in Chapel Hill, NC. You can check out the live performance here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY0K-Og1Ykc&t=12s

Not the usual format, but still . . . enjoy.

A fish out of water story involving a New York fish out of water in the Australian outback and an Australian fish out of water in New York City. Oh the hijinks!! Though somehow Crocodile Dundee fits in everywhere. And he's a liar and only wears a vest most of the time, which would make him the villain in almost any other movie or in real life. So many problems with this movie.

Another bonus episode and another random assortment of topics leading into ridiculous scenes. Sadly, the punchline is that I'm not classically handsome. Let the other members know you don't agree in the comments!!

There's a new movie featuring not one but two triple X's. That's XXXXXX!!!! So hardcore!!

We take you back to the beginning when there were only 3 X's. Have you ever thought, James Bond is too articulate and suave and Michael Bay's movies are too beholden to the laws of physics? Then this is the movie for you!! Almost none of it makes any sense and it's only barely believable than Left Behind. Action, adventure, sexy!! XXX!!!!

I'm going to apologize in advance for clearly buying into trailers that did not represent the movies they promoted accurately. Then we basically plug a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with the podcast. Oh, and there's a scene. Enjoy?

Happy New Year! In honor of the looming end of civilization as we know it. We present a movie only a hair crazier than the reality of Donald Trump being president and with hair only slightly less crazy than his. You've heard the mini-sode. You know there's more. So here it is.

The group discusses the entirety of this mortal sin of a movie. In a world with no base reality whatsoever, we overcome all obstacles to at least get out some scenes out. In hindsight, there was some truly hilarious stuff in this movie, like watching a preachy Birdemic. But I can't tell you to watch it. It's painful. You'll want to punch the screen. You'll wonder why Nicolas Cage's hair looks like a wig made of black cotton candy. You'll wonder why I thought watching this movie was a good idea. It wasn't.