Two Boys in a Balcony

Guys, it's the unofficial prequel to Grand Budapest Hotel, Grand Hotel, the 1932 all-star slammajamma best picture winna! We love an old movie and we love an old movie star and if you can get us 5 old movie stars in 1 old movie, well we're happier than some 1930s slang that means pig in shit. "You'll check into the Grand Hotel but you'll never want to leave!" should have been the tagline because the Grand Hotel truly is grander and nicer than anywhere you've ever been in your whole dang life. I booked my trip yesterday!

*extreme Cheri Oteri voice* CIMARRON now Cimarron

It's the 4th Academy Awards! All the stars are out tonight! There's Doohickey McDickFuck and over there it's Scarlett O'Payday! And whose that coming up now? Why it's the lovable scamps and relics of the silent era, the Balcony Boys, here to discuss the Best Picture winner of 1931, Cimarron, not to be confused with Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron or Cinammon rolls! It's a movie so boring that to tell you anymore in this, the podcast episode description, would be to spoil any chance of us recounting the events in the actual episode! Cimarron! Your great grandmother's "Oh I always meant to see that!" pick of 1931! 

Oh yeah and Happy Birthday to the Song and Dance Man! Venmo him $50 to @MrSeanSullivan on Venmo! Venmo!

Do whatever the fuck you want on the Eastern front but here on the Western front? All quiet, ya hear. Today, we're looking at the third academy awards and the second GOOD best picture winner, 1930's All Quiet on the Western Front. Do we sing Edwin Starr? Honestly can't remember but I'd take that action if you wanna lay some money down that we didn't. One of the greatest "war is dumb as shit" movies of all time. I can't believe we keep doing them over and over again. Comedy podcast!

Welp that didn't take long did it? There's definitely a Boondock Saints II vibe in the balcony today as we sit down to discuss the worst Best Picture winner thus far, from the 2nd Academy Awards, it's the Broadway Melody of 1929. It's pretty rough stuff by any standards and certainly a downgrade after Wings. They can't all be winners even though they all are winners. The Broadway Melody of 1929! Not to be confused with the Broadway Melodies of 1928 or 1930. Those are the good ones. 

It's a new dawn in the Balcony as we invite our beloved friend, Oscar, to join us for phase two of the Two Boys in a Balcony experience. You thought our commentary on New England movies was inane and ill-informed? Well lucky for you, we've matured and are now bringing our non-sensical asses to discussions of some of the greatest films ever made and to kick things off, we went back to the very beginning, Wings! It's a World War One epic that absolutely defies any expectations. You wouldn't think it was possible for a bunch of old dead shits to pull off what the people behind this thing pulled off but they did it! Wings! It's two and a half silent hours of fury! Wings! We watched it! We loved it! And the best podcast listener award goes to you! The person that listened to the podcast!

This is it, folks! Episode 100! For 100 weeks, each Wednesday, America's Dumbest Film Critics have gathered to bring you no insight, no knowledge, nothing but laughs and silent laughs (presumably). We went back to the beginning to watch the most New England movie of all time, The Friends of Eddie Coyle. If you want to sync up and watch along, why? But if you do, you can. Just listen to us babble for 10 minutes and then start in the least professional way ever. 

NEXT WEEK! The next phase of Two Boys in a Balcony begins with 1927's first Academy Award for Best Picture, Wings!

It's episode 99. You've had 98 episodes put on podcast layaway and now it's time for the main event. In the pantheon of New England films, 1997's Good Will Hunting is maybe at the top of the pile. Everybody loves this thing... everybody but resident crank Sean Sullivan that is! It's Bill "the Orphan" McMorrow's time to shine, baby! It's not your fault... unless you don't listen! 

dude it's tha fawking fighta kehd

Hoo-ah hoo-ah hoo-ah. Hoo-ah! Hoo-ah, hoo-ah hoo-ah hoo-ah.... HOO-AH! That's right folks! There's only four more New England centric Balcony adventures left and this week we decided to waste one of those slots on a movie that almost exclusively takes place in New York City! New York City?! Pace Picante! It's Scent of a Woman, an insane movie made by insane people. Hey, Sean here. Don't watch this movie! Hey, Bill here. Watch the last 20 minutes if you want. Make your own destiny. Is it creepy that Al Pacino can identify women's perfumes? Ab-so-lutely. One of the world's greatest actors finally won his best actor academy award by being pretending to be a blind guy who at one point pretends to not be a blind guy. We also switched podcast hosts so if you can't see this, shoot us an email at [email protected]!