Two Nerd Tables and a Microphone

"If you see one, retreat. Because the swarm is on the horizon, and it is relentless." We. Are. Back! Coming in hot after a two week hiatus. We have a fun Izzet commander that's all about making friends that your opponents should probably block. This week's mechanic is: Frenzy: Frenzy N (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +N/+0 until end of turn.)

"Yes! Show them you destructive power!" The perplexed garrison watched Aredes as he loudly praised his summoned beasts. "Captain, a lone private shouted over the cacophonous roars of the hydra, I thought we were here to sign a peace treaty?" We made a bant centaur ready for some aggressive politics. This week's mechanic is: Join Forces: Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. ...

"I'm just so tired. He never lets up. Every time you think he's gone, he just shows back up to destroy something else." Iburon is a Naya elephant with only three modes; none of them are good for your opponents. This week's mechanic is: Cleave: You may cast this card for it's cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in the brackets.

*We did 100% forgot there was already a legendary creature named Rafiq in MTG when we named this week's commander. S/O to all the Rafiq of the Many stans out there. Our bad.* "He can never make up his damn mind. He wants us all to be stronger than him, but also wants to be the strongest. I just don't get it." We drummed up an Abzan turtle for our first of two Crimson Vow episodes. He's a soldier that just wants his buddies to be as buff as him. This week's mechanic is: Training: When a Training creature attacks alongside another creature that has a power greater than it, its controller can place a +1/+1 counter on the creature with less power.

As Phask appeared the rocks stirred and the ground quaked. His presence was overpowering. Thankfully, he leaves as quickly as he appears. We made a solid mono green golem.

Pyrok's birth is always violent. The immediate loss of a life is needed to unleash his full power. The ultimate example of the many outweighing the few. We made a Boros elemental that explodes once he's had his fill. This week's mechanic: Emerge: Emerge [cost] (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's converted mana cost)

"You'll be dead soon, the voice whispered to Porgnoid. You'll be fuel for the coming fire." He quickly sat upright looking around for the owner of the voice. It sounded like that old shaman's he thought, but he'd been dead for days now... We drummed up a goblin shaman who is all about haunting his minions while chewing through the library. Haunt: (When this creature dies, exile it haunting target creature.)

The arrival of the bog mist was a curse. They're always in there. Goading us. Mocking us. Ending us. We got a Sultai changling that's always swinging. We also broach the topics of butthole botox and bully Tom Brady. This week's mechanic: Provoke: (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)

"I'll never leave, bellowed Zesh'Dox! I am eternal! Death means nothing when one's grave is just a hole!" We missed a week! But, in my "professional" opinion, we made up for it with this how Witchmaw zombie troll. This week's mechanic: Persist: (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

"I see all from afar to only bring the end to those so close." We made an Azorius sphinx whose curses sting a little. This week's mechanics: Coven: If you control three or more creatures with different powers do ____