Two Open Doors

As the potent force that it is in people’s lives, sҽx is hedged with social norms, strictures and expectations.  Since sҽx is such a central individual and social concern, one might expect sҽxual expression to be a fundamental individual right.

In actuality, sҽxual prerogatives differ across various social classes.  Not everyone has uniform access to sҽxual opportunities.  In this episode, we’ll explore some of the connections that exist between sҽx-positivity and social justice.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

A sҽxual exchange isn’t just about pleasure; it also entails a power interaction between the two partners.  We touched on many aspects of this in last week’s episode, in which we featured an interview with an expert in the alternative sҽxual practices that constitute BDSM.  However, power dynamics are also at play in more mainstream sҽxual exchanges.

In this episode, we’ll consider some of the ways in which power dynamics manifest themselves in sҽxual exchanges.  We’ll also look at the psychological aspects of such exchanges.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Many Two Open Doors listeners are aware of the sexual practices that go under the label of BDSM.  In today's episode, we'll hear about this topic from a seasoned long-term practitioner and expert.  During this hour-long interview between Dr. Claude and sex and intimacy coach Ezra Pryor, we'll explore many different facets of this intriguing subject.  We'll close with some recommended resources for those who may want to explore further.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

I recently came across a blog post by one of my favorite authors, Dr. T J Jordan, in the Medium online magazine.  In that article, she addressed a condition that most or all of us have encountered, at one time or another:  the loss of an intimate relationship that has been central in our lives.  Such occurrences may (hopefully) not be frequent, but they can have an outsized impact on our emotional state.

In this episode, I’ll share some of my own perspectives and observations regarding this important topic.  My hope is that with better understanding, my readers will be better able to mitigate the impact of losses of deep connections.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

As we’ve noted in many prior episodes, human sҽxuality is complicated.  It engages all aspects of our humanity:  our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual essence.  Every individual “blends” these dimensions in a different and unique way.

In this episode, we’ll explore one of the many areas in which people differ:  our sҽxual and sensual preferences.  This will give us a better understanding of why sҽx is such fertile ground for play, and for learning about ourselves and our partners.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

I personally see it as unfortunate that sex-positivity is relatively rare in our society.  As an example, while meaningful statistics are hard to come by, it’s estimated that perhaps 4%-5% of American adults practice some form of polyamory.  Adhering to the “relationship escalator” is much more main-stream.

What this implies is that finding kindred spirits to relate to can be rather challenging.  In this episode, we’ll dig further into this challenge, and into some possible ways to address it.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our previous episode, we took a look at what “emotions” are, at bottom, and how they relate to “feelings” or “affect”.  Our reason for considering those topics was that they play a central role in how relationships work.

In this episode, we’ll take an additional step and consider the role of emotions in “emotional intelligence”, or “EQ”.  As we’ll see, emotional intelligence serves as the foundation of healthy and thriving relationships.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Emotions are a big component of human relationships.  They reflect our responses to another person--- what we see in that person, how similar or dissimilar they seem to be relative to us, and how they affect our internal state.   Emotions are related to the concept of feelings, which also play a big role in relationships.  While the term “feelings” is often used synonymously with “emotions” in popular speech, they’re different, and those differences are important to our understanding of relationships.  (Note that there’s considerable divergence in how these terms are defined, even within the professional psychology and neurobiology literature.)

In this episode, we’ll explore both emotions and feelings, and we’ll see the role that those fill in the “architecture” of relationships.  Our explorations will provide us with a foundation for thinking about “emotional intelligence”, or “EQ”, in a later episode.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

A relationship takes place between two people--- each of which seeks to meet both their own interests and desires, and those of their partner.  That means that any relationship entails an ongoing balancing-act between these two different, and sometimes competing, interests.  In effect, there are three distinct entities present in any relationship:  the two partners (as individuals), and the shared entity of their relationship, which they co-create.

In this episode, we’ll consider how self and other can be balanced in a way that is beneficial and nurturing to both partners. 

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Relationships don’t develop in an inflexible and linear manner, as is posited in the popular “relationship escalator” model for relationships.  Still, there is some regularity to relationship evolution.  At some point, for some (but not all) intimate relationships, the tone of the relationship may shift from giddy delight in each other’s presence, to a growing desire to spend more time together and become a regular part of each other’s lives.  A desire to bond with one another can develop, driven mainly by the influence of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.

The bonding phase of a relationship is characterized by the partners’ desire to invest in their relationship, physically (such as by moving in together) and psychologically (such as by emotionally feeling that they’ve become a couple).  Feelings of growing attachment can lead to growing commitment to one another.  While feelings of attachment are involuntary, commitment entails making conscious and voluntary decisions.  This episode explores how commitment plays into a deepening intimate relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/