Two Open Doors

I think most of us would conclude that our relationships can be a great source of meaning in our lives.  We’d also likely agree that well-functioning relationships can make us happy.  Are “meaning” and “happiness” synonymous? If not, how do they differ?  In this episode, we’ll consider how meaning and happiness are related, and how each of those concepts plays into relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Over the last few episodes, I’ve shared a view of how relationships evolve through a set of relationship states, passing through what we’ve termed a relationship “life-cycle”.  We’ve noted that each of our relationships has one or more relationship goals at each point of its life-cycle--- goals such as friendship, or romantic connection, or emotional connection.  We’ve seen that relationships play out through the course of interactions between partners.

In this episode, I’d like to describe the Two Open Doors Relationship Game, which I’ve developed based on all of the preceding observations about how relationships work.  I believe that the Game is a useful tool for exploring relationships, both in a personal-development setting, and perhaps in a therapeutic setting.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our previous episode, we took a “birds-eye” look at the nature of relationships:  their embodiment in the ongoing interactions between pairs of people; the various goals, or purposes, that a relationship may fill; and the reality that relationships evolve through a particular set of relationship states, rather than being static and unchanging.

In this episode, we’ll take the next step and examine how a relationship flows from one state to another.  That will give us insights into how we can achieve and sustain desirable and satisfying states, while minimizing the risk of falling into undesirable and painful relationship states.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

What is a “relationship” between humans?  We all know, right?  Well--- yes, but it’s still worth thinking about in a bit of detail.  Relationships are, after all, a rich source of meaning in our lives.  That makes them worth understanding, so that we can take proper care of them.

In this episode, we'll take a look at the nature or human relationship, by exploring what I think of as the "relationship life-cycle":  a set of stages or states that a relationship can progress through during its lifespan, along with the various transitions that can occur between those states.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In past episodes, we’ve looked at many different aspects of relationship.  We’ve noted that relationships differ in terms of what the partners seek from the relationship (and from each other); in how good an initial “fit” there is between them (that is, in their degree of compatibility); in terms of what each partner brings to the relationship, including both gifts and deficits or vulnerabilities; and in terms of how each partner experiences their relationship interactions, at the physical, cognitive, emotional and spiritual levels.

In this episode, we’ll look past all of this variation, to discern that there is some regularity across relationships.  We’ll look at what I think of as the “relationship life-cycle”.  Using that as a framework, we’ll see what stages a relationship can evolve through, and what changes or transitions are available to the partners, at each stage of a relationship.  

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

As the saying goes, “Time heals all wounds” (or, as I sometimes say, “Time wounds all heels”).  The passing years change us, making us the individuals that we are today.  That change plays out in all aspects of our lives--- including our relationships.

In this episode, we’ll take a look at what sorts of changes we can expect in our relationships.  We’ll also consider how to accommodate those changes with grace, so that change serves a useful and constructive purpose in our lives.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Relationship offers people many things.  We humans require a “diet” that includes not only our physical needs, such as food, water and shelter, but also a number of psychological needs that are no less important.  Companionship, feelings of social validation and acceptance, feelings of perceives worth and trust in others, and sensual or sexual connection are among these additional necessary “nutrients”.

Finding all of these elements in any one companion is a tall order, indeed.  In fact, even if that were possible (which seems unlikely), asking any one person to provide all of this sustenance for us would lay a tremendous burden on that person.  In this episode, we’ll consider whether there might be more realistic, sustainable and fair ways to meet our needs.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

The most common question that a sꬴxologist or sꬴx therapist encounters is “Am I normal?”.  It seems that most people are deeply concerned about how their sꬴxual preferences, desires and actions compare with those of others.  That isn’t too surprising, given the social nature of our species.

At the same time that we may seek to fit in with those around us, we also crave the freedom to follow our heart, wherever it may lead us.  In this episode, we’ll explore the balance between those opposing desires, and we’ll consider the upside and downside of conformity.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Relationships are a living, breathing thing.  They usually grow from tentative initial flickerings of interest, through a phase of growth or contraction, and--- for those that take root--- into a potentially long period of relative stability.  Eventually, there may be a time of decline--- or, sometimes, an explosive ending.

Successful and satisfying relationships require a balance between allowing the form of a relationship to reveal itself, and avoiding a possible temptation to take the relationship in directions that don’t suit it.  In this episode, we’ll explore how one can strive to strike this artful balance.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

As adults, we make decisions that shape our lives.  We have the opportunity to choose actions and a life-path that suits our goals and our needs.  We’re each ultimately responsible for our own happiness, and for living a life that’s meaningful to us.  Our partners in life can support us, but they can’t choose our path.

In this episode, we’ll consider the reality that we make personal decisions within the context of expectations and norms that society lays down for us.  That sometimes creates a tension between what we might really want, and what’s socially expected of us.  Navigating that balance can be challenging.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/