Two Open Doors

We sometimes hear others say that their intimate relationship is “failing”, or has “failed”.  We may feel that about some of our own relationships.  Sometimes that statement comes as an angry and frustrated accusation, and sometimes it comes as a sad and dejected lament--- but in all cases, it’s a statement that’s laden with emotion.  Our core relationships are centrally-important to us as humans, so it’s to be expected that turmoil in that area of our lives will move us deeply.
 
 There are many issues that lurk beneath our perception of a failed relationship.  In this episode, we’ll unpack and examine those

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

One of the more challenging aspects of deeply-connected relationships is the need for compromise.  In an intimate relationship, there are three separate entities interacting with one another:  each of the two individual partners, and the relationship that comprises the couple.  Each of these has needs, dreams and desires that need to be balanced and traded-off against one another.  If any of these is neglected or underserved, all three entities suffer.  That makes it worth considering how to avoid such circumstances from occurring.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

I often marvel at the seeming miracle that a healthy and satisfying long-term relationship represents.  Life is full of twists and turns, challenges and upsets that can threaten the integrity of a deep connection between partners.
 
 For a relationship to show a high degree of adaptability, both partners must surely have “the right stuff” to contribute to the relationship.  In this episode, we’ll consider the role of compatibility in planting the seeds for an enduring relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In selecting a topic for today’s blog, I was inspired to reflect on femininity and masculinity--- and how those relate to the complex phenomenon of gender.  In colloquial speech, the terms “sex” and “gender” are often used interchangeably.  It’s more accurate and more beneficial to distinguish these from one another, though, since they really refer to different things.  We'll examine both of those concepts.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In trying to understand and compare the lifestyle choices of monogamy and ethical non-monogamy (ENM), it’s useful to consider the role of commitment in both of those choices.  As we’ll see, making commitments imposes constraints on one’s life--- in exchange for gaining specific benefits.  As in many aspects of life, choosing a relationship style involves making trade-offs.

In this episode, we explore the nature of commitment, and how it plays into a wide range of relationship styles.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

For most of those who are in mainstream committed relationships in our culture, there is a “relationship escalator” that provides a roadmap of how that relationship is expected to develop over time.  The “escalator” consists of a succession of steps that correspond to deepening commitment and sharing of life-goals in the relationship.  We’ll describe that sequence below, and we’ll examine how that set of relationship stepping-stones can provide structure for the relationship.  We'll then consider how useful the "escalator" is, and whether there might be alternatives to it.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

It’s hard to believe that the Two Open Doors podcast has reached its 30th episode!  This is an appropriate time to take stock of how we’re doing at building the envisioned Two Open Doors community.

We review the various Two Open Doors online forums that complement this podcast.  We also consider the goals envisioned for this community, and we take stock on how we're doing.  We close with a call for engagement by all who value having a safe and welcoming place in which to explore deep human connections.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our recent interview with premier American sexologist Dr. Patti Britton, she noted that she has started to use the image of a “little blue flame” as a metaphor for the erotic spark that dwells in each of us.

Without that flame, our eroticism lacks an essential ignition-source.  In this episode, we explore this concept, and consider how each of us can take steps to ensure the vigor of our own erotic "pilot-light".

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In this full-length (43 minute) guest interview with one of the world's preeminent sexologists, we enjoy a wide-ranging discussion of the role of sexuality and sensuality in creating a fulfilling and growth-centered life.  Dr. Patti is the co-founder (with her deceased partner and fellow sexologist  Dr. Robert Dunlap) of Sex Coach University, which has trained many of America's most adept sex coaches.  We'll hear what sex coaching entails, and why it's so important to legitimize and "normalize" the role of pleasure in a healthy life.  We'll also learn about how that important field continues to evolve.  Please join us, for a real treat!

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Loving, and being in love:  they sound so similar, yet they’re quite different things.  This distinction can make a big difference in the evolution of a deeply-connected relationship.  Each has its role(s) to play in such a relationship--- and each contributes different things to the relationship.

In this episode, we’ll take a closer look at the feelings and behaviors that come with loving someone.  We’ll also examine the feelings and behaviors that accompany being in love with someone.  That will help us understand how each contributes to an intimate relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/