Two Open Doors

Relationship “hierarchy” is the notion that relationships can be compared with one another and ranked, with some being deemed more valuable or more important than others.   Sometimes, relationship hierarchy is implicit, rather than being stated explicitly; as an example, that is the case with traditional monogamous marriages.
 
Since hierarchical ranking involves the application of value judgments, such ranking has significant implications.  In this post, we’ll explore how hierarchy works, and how it plays into the relationships it touches.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Deep human connections involve the sharing of intimate details between partners: hopes, fears, dreams and plans.  The partners in such connections also open themselves to one another, to come to know one another intimately.  That requires a willingness to make oneself vulnerable to one’s partner.  In this episode, we’ll explore the role that attachment plays in intimate relationships.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

 | In our prior post, we explored the notion of “spiritual” connection, noting that such a connection can be soul-deep.  We cited the central role of spiritual connection in some ancient spiritual practices, such as tantra.  We noted that such profound connections take us out of our “normal” daily space, and that they do so by creating a “sacred space” in which partners can slow down and be fully present with one another.
 
 In this post, we’ll look at the challenges posed by trying to fit intimacy into daily life, in which neither free time nor personal presence are a given.  As we’ll see, though, mastering that “juggling act” is essential to our giving intimacy the central role that it deserves in our life.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In this post, we’ll explore the essence of deep human connection: what it is, and how it works.  We’ll also consider the relationship between deep connection and spiritual practices that address the embodiment of that connection, such as tantra.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our recent post about pleasure, we focused on the special role that touch plays as a vehicle for pleasure.  Along with the other senses, touch provides the basis for living an “Epicurean” life, in which pleasure brings us physical, emotional and mental health, and a deeply satisfying life.  In this post, we’ll look at pleasure through a different lens: that of “forbidden” pleasure.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In recent posts, we’ve taken a look at two of the things that can focus us on the negative side of the sexual “ledger”: the prevalence of many misunderstandings about sex, and the occurrence of a number of disorders that can detract from our sexual experiences.  In this post, we’ll focus on a very positive aspect of sex: its role as a portal to human pleasure.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our most recent post, we took a look at some of the (many) misconceptions that prevail in our society, regarding sexuality and gender.  In this post, we’ll examine another area of confusion and misunderstanding: information about the range of issues that can arise in the areas of sexuality and sensuality.  Perhaps better understanding can offer more relief and peace of mind.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Our society is rife with misinformation and lack of information regarding sex--- sometimes as a result of a social agenda that is intended to maintain a taboo around sex.  This can be very damaging, for a variety of reasons:  avoidable occurrence of unwanted pregnancies; contracting and mismanagement of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs); debilitating shame and anxiety around the experience of sex; and a general feeling that sex is necessary for procreation, but is otherwise a confusing and negative force in people’s lives.

As a sexologist, I believe that sex is a natural and wholesome activity that serves a human birthright of pleasure.  Neurobiology clearly positions sex as a powerful central human motivating force.  I believe that much harm can come from an attempted denial of that reality, and from an attendant attempt to control and channel people’s sexuality.  Given its powerful influence, sex does deserve respect and responsible handling; but other than in (rare) cases of compulsive behavior, sex should not be “disowned” or stigmatized.  For adults (and children), it’s a normal part of being human.

In this post, we’ll explore just a handful of the seemingly-endless misconceptions around sex:  how it works, how people practice it, how it plays into relationships, and how sex and gender are related.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Now that we’ve taken a look at the sexual response cycle, or SRC, we know that a sexual experience involves far more than physical hydraulics and mechanics.  For us humans, sex is fabulous and sometimes fanciful adult playground that engages not only our bodies, but also our minds, emotions and spirit.

Prior attempts to understand human sexuality have focused on specific aspects of that experience: the succession of phases through which it plays out, or the differences between male and female sexual experiences, or the differing contributions of our subconsciously-generated emotions, and our conscious thoughts and decisions.  It’s instructive to try to assemble all of those individual “puzzle pieces” into a unified whole; that's the focus of this episode.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Sex holds many surprises and puzzles, for most (or all) of us humans.  At times, it’s the source of the most sublime and satisfying experiences that we can undergo--- while at other times, it can plunge us into the depths of disappointment and questioning of ourselves.  Sex is a central force in our lives, and it’s a key ingredient in the realm of deep personal connections.  As such, it’s worth knowing something about.  In this post, we’ll deepen our understanding of how sex works, by taking a look at several influential and insightful models of the human sexual response cycle, or “SRC”.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/