In this episode, we explore a tough but important question: Am I being abused, or is this just conflict? We unpack where the line is between healthy disagreement and emotional harm, whether abuse can be unintentional, and how to recognize the difference. We also ask: Are we all capable of being abusive? And how do we engage in conflict without crossing that line?

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

You’ve heard the promises: “I’ll change.” “This was the last time.” But nothing’s different. In this episode, we speak to those loving someone with an addiction and the addicted individual. How do you know if change is actually possible? How do you tell the difference between hope and denial? You’ll learn what to look for beyond words and what the change process really involves. If you're tired of the cycle, confused about what to believe, or just trying to protect your peace, this conversation is for you.

00:00  Dale hates flies & other Africa stories

10:10 My partner has an addiction, should I stay or go?

14:33 Do they really want to change?

18:40  Talk is cheap

22:36 When doing your best to change is not enough

27:17 Owning your mistakes

35:40 The process of change

53:53 Are some addictions stronger than others?

59:40 Reaching out for help

1:03:52 What is rock bottom?

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

In this episode, we ask each other a simple question: Why do we do what we do? That sparks a deeper conversation about the heart of therapy. Is it just about fixing problems—or is there something more meaningful at play? We share our personal answers and explore whether a therapist’s personal beliefs matter, and if true objectivity is even possible. We also take on a common question: Should therapists give advice—and when is it actually helpful?

00:00 Intro

03:10 Is the goal of therapy to eliminate suffering?

07:30 Meaningless vs meaningful suffering

26:38 Can therapists truly be objective?

44:17 Should therapists give advice?

56:50 Has therapy replaced church?

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Who comes first in a man's life, his mother, his wife, or his daughter? In this episode, we explore this trending dilemma, the most common answers we’ve seen, and share our own takes. Using principles from family systems theory and relationship science, we dive into the dynamics behind each role, the emotional weight of the question, and why it hits so hard.

00:00 Intro

01:14 Dale's blue lipstick

06:35 Choosing between mom, wife or daughter

12:40 Why is "wife" never chosen as top priority?

16:39 Spouse vs. Kids

47:11 Spouse vs. Parents

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Failure is inevitable but what do you do after it happens? In this episode, we talk about what failure really is, the different levels of failure (from minor slip-ups to life-altering moments), and whether there's actually any benefit to falling short. We also share some practical approaches for processing failure, learning from it, and moving forward.

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Why is it so hard to have honest conversations with friends? In this episode, we unpack the unique dynamics of friendship that make difficult conversations feel so loaded, and why avoiding them can hurt more in the long run. We share real examples from our own lives, explore when it’s necessary to speak up, how to bring things up respectfully, and how to listen well, even when you don’t agree.

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Is self-care overrated or are we just doing it wrong? In this episode, we break down common myths about self-care, the ways we often sabotage our own self-care routines, and what really makes self-care effective. We also share how starting jiu-jitsu became a form of self-care for both of us, and explore what elements create a meaningful and sustainable self-care practice. If you’ve ever felt like self-care isn’t working, this conversation is for you.

00:00 Intro

01:09 Dale’s pedicure experience

03:50 How do we define good self-care?

07:58 Why do we find ourselves doom scrolling as a form of self-care?

15:48 How we sabotage self-care: performing instead of transforming

16:25 How Dale started jiu jitsu as a hobby

27:27 Dale’s other hobbies and how they are different

34:53 Is self-care selfish?

36:58 The five elements of responsible self-care

42:10 How David started jiu jitsu

49:51 The main goal of self-care

53:19 Self-care is much more than a hobby or downtime

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

In this special Q&A episode, we’re diving into your questions! We discuss online therapy vs. in-person therapy, how therapists decide when to listen vs. challenge a client, and what to do when your sense of purpose is shaken—like after losing a job. We also explore concerns around “over-therapizing,” self-diagnosis, and the fear of being labeled in therapy. Plus, we share practical ways to check in with yourself emotionally and physically when you feel anxious or stuck.

We couldn’t get to every question, but we’d love to hear more from you! Drop your questions or feedback in the Tally form below. We’ll try to cover them in a future episode or even dedicate a whole episode to a few:

Questions & Feedback Form

Get 15% off your OLIPOP order using this link⁠⁠ and enter the promo code SODALOVE at checkout.

00:00 Intro

03:17 Is BetterHelp & other online therapy worth it?

14:49 How do I check in with myself emotionally and calm my anxiety?

32:20 How do I bring up a self-diagnosis with my therapist without being labeled/dismissed?

46:58 When should a therapist listen vs challenge a client?

53:21 What happens when your sense of purpose is shaken? (e.g. losing a job that gave you meaning).

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Get 15% off your OLIPOP order using this link⁠ and enter the promo code SODALOVE at checkout.

In this episode, we explore the unique fulfillment sex provides and whether it’s a want or a need. Can we ever thrive without it? We break down the difference between lust and eros, the role of intimacy in sex, and whether sex can ever be just sex—is casual sex ever truly casual? We also discuss the challenges couples face in sexual fulfillment and when sex reaches its greatest potential in a relationship.

00:00 Intro

02:32 Is sex a want or a need?

04:22 Is life all about pleasure or is there more?

11:47 When sex becomes necessary

17:20 Intimacy - the missing piece of the sex puzzle

18:28 Which stage of a relationship is sex the best?

21:11 Is casual sex ever just sex?

26:53 Lust vs. Eros

35:42 The orgasm gap - why we're not having great sex

39:12  Men's insecurities with receiving feedback on sex

43:49 Why the Bible uses the word "knew" for sex

44:48 Can sex toys ever be a hindrance?

46:21 The problem with p*rn and other explicit content

58:44 Closing thoughts on intimacy

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.

Get 15% off your OLIPOP order using this link and enter the promo code SODALOVE at checkout.

Is masculinity under attack, evolving, or just misunderstood? What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century? In this episode, we break down masculinity, exploring how men have embodied manhood in the past, the role of rites of passage, and why masculinity vs. femininity is a false dichotomy. We also dive into the high-value man concept, toxic masculinity, and what’s really at stake for men today.

00:00 Intro

02:55 How do we define masculinity?

07:35 Masculinity vs femininity is a false dichotomy

10:00 Why "rites of passage" matter to men

23:49 C.S. Lewis' thoughts on masculinity

27:15 How to address men's physical insecurities

29:57 Addressing feelings of weakness & inadequacy

39:48 What is toxic masculinity?

47:04 The truth about the "high value man"

57:06  High-value man vs. pursuing high values

01:00:18 Evaluating high-value men influencers

01:04:53 How to embody modern masculinity

Are you a therapist or clergy? Upgrade your toolkit and earn 3.5 CE hours with our $99 course on providing ⁠ethical faith-informed therapy with Christian couples.