Two Tired Therapists

Hey you Team Edward and Team Jacob girlies! Ready for us to drag your favorite movie series again? Jackie and Kyle are tired of many things this week, namely low quality alcoholic water and ads on YouTube, respectively. Honorable mentions on the shit list include Burger King getting drinks wrong, the weather, acid reflux, Cheaters (the show), and providing children with alcohol (well…maybe we’re OK with that one).
 
In providing their very critical and completely professional review of Twilight: Eclipse, Jackie and Kyle dive into important topics such as red flags in vampires AND werewolves, Bella being a flop (still), vampires and haircuts, Bryce Dallas Howard, vampires and racism, sex dynamics between vampires, and wigs (still). Jackie and Kyle also find out which extremely odd moment they are through the magic of Buzzfeed quizzes.
 
Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).
 
“Apparently he’s from the era of the Duggers. I know he’s from 19-whatever but Jesus Christ you’re in the 21st century you old bitch.” -Jackie

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If you’ve been feeling the crushing weight of reality and unrelenting expectations of society then boy do we have a great episode for you to avoid all that! This week, Jackie turns her tiredness to fuel not only her car, but also her road rage toward people who drive under the speed limit. Kyle, in his eternal war against men, turns his tiredness toward the boys posting videos doing backflips with their teeny lil’ peens flopping all around.

In this episode, our two tired therapists return to the very messy and complex life of Natalia Grace. In their very professional and extremely ethical way, they discuss the goings on in the new season of the hit docuseries, The Curious Case of Natalia Grace: Natalia Speaks (Available on Max, but not HBO Max - very different, keep up!). Definite spoilies for this season AND the first season, so be sure to watch or listen to the two-part recounting of season one by your two tired therapists.

Season 2 highlights: pepper spray, lots of lying, Histrionic Personality Disorder (still), what not to do when investing in children for financial gain, Rosamund Pike, bamboozling healthcare workers, real tea on the laws around people with disabilities, and at the end of the day just more questions. You’ll laugh, you’ll scream, you’ll wonder if you’re experiencing a psychotic break, and then you’ll count your blessings when you realize maybe you don’t have it so bad (or maybe you do, who’s to say?).

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

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Well, it’s everyone’s favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day! Grab the strongest drink you can stomach and meditate before turning on this extremely chaotic episode of Two Tired Therapists. For the holiest of commercial holidays, Jackie and Kyle have two very special guests (spoiler: their significant others) and they play a modified version of the Newlywed Game, with the goal being to see which couple will break up faster. Before they get into the game, Jackie, Kyle, Producer Justin, and Edward collectively discuss what they are tired of. There are a lot of opinions, so listen to the episode for some very hot takes about Valentine’s Day and some non-V-Day related. Prepare to become uncomfortable as you listen to each couple passive-aggressively argue about different facts about themselves, their relationships, and each other. If this episode does not make you want to be single, we don’t know what will! After the lawyers have decided who gets what in their respective divorces, they play Gay or Straight: Valentine’s Day Edition.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). If you really love us, you’ll subscribe to us on wherever you get your podcasts.

Leave us a review and we will shout you out, even if you tell us we are terrible (because we’re not delulu and we know!).

“This is going to go downhill REAL fast.” - Kyle

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Welcome back to another very professional episode of Two Tired Therapists where Kyle continues to refer to bean flicking (better defined in this episode). Jackie struggles through the tiredness of misogynistic feedback while Kyle fights the true fight of eating deli sandwiches that are encumbered with too much roughage. Our Two Tired Therapists dive into the second book/movie of the Twilight Saga: New Moon, and they have some questions (Stephanie, call us). Big spoilies ahead. Thankfully, the wig budget has improved. Unfortunately, Bella is a big flop, hallucination, and presenting with symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (see our personality episode trilogy). Werewolves hit the stage while Jackie and Kyle try to determine if a 104-year-old vampire dating a 17-year-old girl is acceptable. We learn Jackie wouldn’t want to be a vampire but Kyle would (is that really a surprise?). They end by taking an extremely valid and reliable Buzzfeed Quiz about which iconic moment they are in New Moon.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]) and Instagram (@twotiredtherapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“Where’s your cellphone bitch? It’s 2009.” -Jackie


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Welcome to 2024! Jackie and Kyle decided that it seemed like the time to do a very serious, intelligent, analytical, existential, in-depth review of the Twilight Saga. If you can read our minds like Edward, you know that’s completely false. Before your two favorite therapists share their reactions to watching Twilight as adults (this is your trigger warning), Kyle is tired of people who say they are 1/32nd Native American, or some iteration of that (coincidentally on brand for this episode) and Jackie is tired of DNA testing kits and explains her unhinged and extremely paranoid thoughts of why she will absolutely never partake in this popular trend. Jackie and Kyle spend a very long time (sorry Producer Justin) discussing their reactions to Twilight (and trying to remember the plot of the books for unknown reasons), reminiscing about the later aughts and the fashion, all of the things they hated about it, and somewhere in there is a plot summary. They also have a semi-heated debate about casting choices of Edward and Bella, which you need to wait until the end to see if they will continue making this podcast since their opinions vastly differ. After all of the bickering between them, they play a Buzzfeed game of Date or Dump: Twilight edition.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“Not gonna lie, would have laughed if she showed me his glittery tits.” - Jackie

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Welcome to the Two Tired Therapists Christmas Cheer Episode! LOL, JK, but really can you believe it's Christmas? If you wanted to get schooled in all things The Twelve Days of Christmas song, please get ready to have your mind blown! Before that, Jackie is tired of using nutcrackers as decorations and Kyle is tired of people thinking Baby It's Cold Outside as a (trigger warning) rape anthem. Once Jackie and Kyle get through all of the different pieces of the song (spoiler: it's mostly birds), they discuss whether the things of that song are Gay or Straight. Kyle also surprises Jackie with a completely fitting Twelve Days of Therapy to wrap up our year.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

We here at TTT wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Whatever You Celebrate (or don't - no judgment here), and a Happy New Year! We better see you in 2024!

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Join in on the chaos and connect with Two Tired Therapists on Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), Facebook (Two Tired Therapists), or email them at [email protected]

It’s almost the end of the year, thank GAWD! But before we close 2023, Two Tired Therapists had to bring back everyone’s favorite topic: Reddit Disaster Stories! Before getting into the drama, Jackie is tired of people who use their babies for content (no one wants to see a video of you waking up every 2 hours #lame) and Kyle discusses being tired of those who own Stanleys cups (insert Jackie being called out), but then saves their friendship by explaining he means those who make having a Stanley their whole personality. If you’re still reading this, Jackie and Kyle read some real (or maybe fake) entertaining stories that people post on the internet. One even involves a bomb threat and a naked man! After deciding that people are awful, your two favorite therapists play another enthralling edition of Gay or Straight, which involves Jesus and couples who kiss in pictures.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“She could have 100% vom-ed on your dick.”-Jackie “Okay gross.” - Kyle

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Join in on the chaos and connect with Two Tired Therapists on Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), Facebook (Two Tired Therapists), or email them at [email protected]

Hey, all you SAD girlies waiting for T-Swift’s breakup album from that football guy. It’s our last episode for November, and boy is winter coming. Jackie is having a hard time with ads being obnoxiously loud on streaming services (but you can’t hear normal volume conversation, wtf?) while Kyle is on his way to getting canceled (again) over his opinion on the word neurodivergent.

Kyle takes us on a bleak tour of various depressive disorders, with notable mentions of some of your festive favorites like Seasonal Affective Disorder (you will probably be quite disappointed to find out you don’t have this so stop saying it). They’ll talk about symptoms, treatment, and even MENSES!!! (Isn’t it weird the word for your period has the word MEN in it?)

They’ll also introduce a new game: Is it gay or straight? You’ll laugh but mostly cry because…depression.

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“Don’t track you cycles in your apps because the man will get it and when they Handmaids Tale us, they’ll know” -Jackie

For all your PMDD needs:
- 5+ symptoms present in the final week before cycle with improvements noticed within a few days of cycle, becoming minimal or absent at the end of cycle

Must have at least one of the following:

• >Mood lability (“swings”)
• Irritability or anger with interpersonal conflicts
• Depressed mood or feelings of hopelessness; Self-deprecating thoughts
• Anxiety, tension, or feeling on edge

At least one of the following but a total of five (including from the previous list):

• Decreased interest in usual activities
• Concentration issues
• Lethargy, fatigue, or low energy
• Change in appetite >Change in sleep
• Sense of being overwhelmed or out of control
• Physical symptoms such as breast tenderness or swelling, joint/muscle pain, bloating, or weight gain

Must be present in most of your cycles over a one-year period of time.

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Happy NO-vember, as Jackie and Kyle say! Here is your pre-Thanksgiving edition of TTT about boundaries (not just for S&M) and have no fear, boundaries are a good thing, kids, and Jackie and Kyle are here to tell you all about it. Before they get into it, Jackie is tired of cranberry sauce and Kyle is tired of people who make holidays all about themselves and when a specific holiday is THEIR SPECIAL DAY! Jackie straight up lifts from a Psychology Today article about the 5 steps to create and maintain healthy boundaries (we did use proper citations!). They share a few laughs and some wisdom about their experiences with boundaries, and not surprisingly, Jackie has some prison stories. At the end, Jackie surprises Kyle with terrible nightmare scenarios in an awful game of This or That which they are forced to choose which horrible situation they would rather endure. Please let us know which scenarios you’d choose on our Instagram stories!

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“Don’t talk about my ingrown pubic hair that I told you about in confidence.” - Kyle

Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/202210/5-steps-creating-and-maintaining-healthy-boundaries https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202208/6-ways-set-boundaries-without-guilt https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/setting-boundaries

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Join in on the chaos and connect with Two Tired Therapists on Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), Facebook (Two Tired Therapists), or email them at [email protected]

Happy Halloweenie!!!! We here at Two Tired Therapists hope your spooky szn is as terrifying as ever. Your ghouls are back, mainly to drag people (re: freaks) who buy and consume candy corn (please write in so we can drag you by name), but mostly to discuss the infamous Sanderson Sisters: Winnifred, Mary and Sarah. The gangs all here, even Thackery (not Zachary) Binx! Spoilies for Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 (both available on Disney+ - please sponsor us Disney). Other topics explored: Mani phases (re: Bipolar Disorder), personality disorders (naturally), the IQ of the general population in the 1650’s, which Sanderson sister Jackie and Kyle identify with, and if they would suck the life out of a child (the answer may not surprise you). You’ll get a horrific round of This or That?: Halloween Edition! Stay spooky, tired, and petty!

Don’t forget to connect with your two tired therapists through e-mail ([email protected]), Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), and Facebook (Two Tired Therapists). Leave us a review and we might read it in future episodes (good and bad reviews welcome).

“Welcome to Amurica, here’s your lobe-blaster [bitch].”-Jackie

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/two-tired-therapists--5762941/support.

Join in on the chaos and connect with Two Tired Therapists on Instagram (@twotiredtherapists), Facebook (Two Tired Therapists), or email them at [email protected]