The apostle Paul writes, ‘Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them’ (Ephesians 4:29 NLT). Eugene Peterson paraphrases it this way: ‘Say only what helps, each word a gift.’ Think of the people you most enjoy spending time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Negative? Of course not! They’re celebrators, not complainers. They’re passionate about life. As you live this day, realise that everyone you meet, you will leave: 1) better off; 2) worse off; 3) unaffected. The way to build others up is to see them as opportunities instead of obstacles or obligations. One leadership expert writes: ‘One of the best things you can do for people – which also attracts them to you – is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a “10” on everyone’s head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, and at the same time it also helps you.’ A survey of one hundred self-made multi-millionaires showed only one common denominator. These highly successful men and women routinely looked for the best in people. Benjamin Disraeli, one of Britain’s finest prime ministers, put it this way: ‘The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.’ And you do that by appreciating, encouraging, and helping others to reach their potential. Napoleon described leaders as ‘dealers in hope’. He understood that hope is one of the greatest of all possessions. If you can be the person who bestows that gift on others, they’ll not only be attracted to you, they’ll be forever grateful.

‘Jesus said to his disciples: “Let’s cross over to the other side of the lake.” So they took Jesus in the boat and started out…But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back…with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” When Jesus woke…he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”…“Who is this man?” they asked each other. “Even the wind and waves obey him!”’ (vv. 35-41 NLT). Following Jesus doesn’t exempt you from life’s storms, so you need to: 1) Remind yourself who’s with you – Jesus! Think about it: if Jesus can calm the storm, surely He can prevent it. But He permits us to go through storms to prove that we don’t have a problem He can’t solve. You may be powerless in the situation, but He’s not, and through it you’ll come to know Him in a way you never have before. His goal is to bring you out stronger on the other side. 2) Trust what He has told you. When Jesus tells you, ‘Let’s cross to the other side,’ there’s not a wave big enough to take you under. The truth is, ‘We cannot stand in the storms of life based on someone else’s faith. We must be fully assured in our own hearts and minds’ (see 1 John 5:14-15). What has God promised you? Stand on it!

When you’re under pressure and tempted to move too quickly, if you stop and pray you’ll hear God saying: ‘You shall not go out with haste…for the LORD will go before you, and…be your rear guard.’ What an awesome promise! God goes before you to prepare the way and comes behind you to correct your mistakes and redirect your steps. When you’re about to make a wrong turn His Word says, ‘We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps’ (Proverbs 16:9 NLT). If you let Him, God will overrule your decisions and reroute you when necessary. When you don’t have what it takes to get the job done, His promise is: ‘The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring…you will be known as a rebuilder…and a restorer’ (Isaiah 58:11-12 NLT). When you’ve run out of answers and don’t know what to do, He reassures you: ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you’ (Psalm 32:8 NLT). When the load you’re carrying is too much to bear you’ll hear His voice saying: ‘Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall’ (Psalm 55:22 NLT). But in order to hear His voice you’ll have to reorder your priorities, sacrifice lesser things and tune out other voices. But you must do it, because nothing is more important than knowing in your heart that God is guiding you.

The storms of life will test whether or not you’ve done a good job with your family. And an important key to succeeding at home is communication. So, ask yourself these four questions: 1) How well do I communicate with the people I love? You may unwittingly have adopted a style that doesn’t work well for you. For example, do you retaliate? That has a degrading effect. Do you dominate? That has an intimidating effect. Do you isolate? That has a frustrating effect. Or do you co-operate? That has an encouraging effect. If you’re in the habit of using any communication style other than a co-operative one, you must work to change it if you want to build a good relationship with your family. 2) Have I identified my communication killers? The Internet, mobile phones, texting and TV are among the chief culprits. Would it surprise you to know the average couple spends less than an hour a week in meaningful conversation, and approximately five hours a day watching television? 3) Do I encourage everyone to speak their mind? And when they do speak freely do you criticise, pout, or retaliate? Differences of opinion can be healthy. The Bible says, ‘Iron sharpens iron’ (Proverbs 27:17 NKJV). Handled respectfully, different opinions can make things better for everyone. 4) Do I think creatively? Do you spend time together as a family? Do you call your spouse during the day and try to meet sometimes for lunch? Do you drive your kids to school or extracurricular activities so you can talk to them? Communication can happen anywhere, but it only happens when you make it a priority.

Let’s face it, we don’t have to look very far to find things to complain about. God placed Adam and Eve in the garden of Paradise where they had everything they needed to be happy. But what did they focus on? The one tree they couldn’t have! God miraculously divided the Red Sea, guided the Israelites through the wilderness and provided food from heaven each day so they’d never go hungry. And did they appreciate it? Yes, for a while. ‘They…sang his praise. But…soon forgot what he had done’ (Psalm 106:12-13 NIV). This is why Paul writes: ‘Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…Then the God of peace will be with you’ (Philippians 4:8-9 NLT). General Robbie Risner described the seven years he spent as a prisoner-of-war in a Vietnamese camp as ‘the essence of despair’. But he survived. How? He pried the cover off a floor drain in his cell and saw a solitary blade of grass, the only smidgen of colour in his colourless world. Calling it ‘a blood transfusion for the soul’, Risner began each day in prayer, lying on the floor with his head down the vent focusing on that single blade of grass. When things aren’t going well in your life you have to choose what you’ll focus on: fear or faith, despair or hope, problems or solutions. Even when the problem isn’t solved to your liking, when you focus on God, He lifts you above your circumstances and gives you peace in the midst of them.

Sunday school teacher Ranai Carlton writes: ‘I was trying to teach the children that we all need God’s forgiveness. So, I asked one of the girls, “Lisa, when is a time you might need God’s forgiveness?” Her blank stare prompted a response from my son, “It’s okay, Lisa. You don’t have to tell her.” Then he turned to me and said, “We don’t have to tell you our problems. This isn’t the Oprah Winfrey Show.”’ You don’t have to tell others about your sins, but you do have to tell God. David said, ‘When I kept silent about my sin…Your hand was heavy upon me’ (Psalm 32:3-4 NASB). Confession does four things: 1) Lets you experience God’s forgiveness. He already knows your sin, but He can’t forgive you when you blame-shift and make excuses. ‘If we confess…he will forgive our sins.’ The first move is up to you. 2) It restores your emotional and physical energy. Nothing’s more draining than denial, and nothing’s more invigorating than a clean slate. David said, ‘My strength…failed because of my guilt’ (Psalm 31:10 NASB). Reflecting on his affair with Bathsheba, he said, ‘When I kept silent…my vitality failed…I acknowledged my sin…You forgave the guilt’ (Psalm 32:3-5 NASB). 3) It lets you move on. Confession lets you hit the ‘reset’ button and start again. It’s important to draw a line between the past and the future in case you’re tempted to regress. 4) It lets you grow. Thomas Edison said failure taught him 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. Making failure work for you instead of against you, starts with confessing it to God and accepting His forgiveness.

Scan any tabloid or watch any TV talk show and you’ll discover that ‘meddling’ has become a multibillion-pound business. But it’s not the kind of business a follower of Christ should be in. And while mothers-in-law sometimes have a reputation for being meddlers, they haven’t cornered the market. Men, relatives, co-workers, and well-meaning friends also tend to interfere. Unlike gossips, meddlers like to elicit personal information directly from their subjects. ‘How can you afford such an expensive car?’ ‘What size is that outfit you’re wearing?’ ‘How much did you pay for your house?’ ‘How long can you afford to be off work?’ Often these kinds of questions serve no purpose other than to satisfy a shallow mind. Yes, some people genuinely want to help, or even pray about your situation – but not meddlers. So learn to keep your inquisitiveness within the bounds of what’s appropriate. Solomon said, ‘He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears’ (Proverbs 26:17 NKJV). A dog’s ears are among the most sensitive areas of its body. And if you pull them, the dog may bite you. Likewise, when you stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, it may get bitten off. God classifies meddling as a sin – right up there with murder and stealing: ‘If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs’ (1 Peter 4:15 NLT). A wise person quipped that the reason people who mind their own business are so successful is because they have so little competition. So don’t meddle!

The story of Rebekah teaches us a very important truth about life: when opportunity knocks, make sure you’re ready to answer the door. Rebekah didn’t think about the extra effort and time required to water ten thirsty camels. She didn’t say, ‘I don’t do that kind of work, that’s not in my job description.’ She lived by the principle: ‘Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might’ (Ecclesiastes 9:10 NKJV). She didn’t suddenly develop a work ethic when Eliezer showed up, she practised one every day. And there came a day when it paid off. Faithfulness in small things brings great rewards. God is your boss; He’s watching your attitude and actions in small things. Big moments don’t come to people who wait for them; they come from faithfulness in small moments, in daily routines and non-glamorous service. And you’ll notice something else. Rebekah didn’t quote the Torah or ask Eliezer what his religion was. Instead of trying to be ‘super spiritual’ she decided to be nice. As a result she got his attention, earned his respect and ended up in the family of Abraham. It doesn’t get any better! When Rebekah took Eliezer home to meet her family they wanted her to wait for ten days before going to meet Isaac. That was customary. But Rebekah said, ‘I will go’ (Genesis 24:58 NKJV). When God opens the door don’t delay. And don’t say, ‘Others are more qualified than me.’ If God has called you then you’re the right person, so step over your fears and move in the direction He is leading you.

One day Abraham sent his servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Isaac. Standing by a small town well, Eliezer prayed, ‘Let the woman who offers to water my camels be the one you have chosen.’ Suddenly Rebekah shows up and says, ‘I will draw water for your camels also’ (see Genesis 24:13-14). Rebekah had no idea that Eliezer would change her life. She didn’t know that her act of kindness would open the door to great blessing. In the Old Testament it was customary to offer water to a stranger. It was called the law of hospitality. The Hebrews believed the words: ‘Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels’ (Hebrews 13:2 NKJV). But who on earth offers to water thirsty camels? One camel can drink forty gallons, and Eliezer had ten of them. That’s a half-day project! Rebekah was generous to a stranger, seeking nothing but the joy of serving. What she didn’t know was, these camels would transport her back to Isaac, make her his bride, shower her with great wealth and put her in the lineage of Christ. So if you want to succeed, show up on time, stay focused, work hard, and be a problem solver instead of a problem causer. Live by Christ’s saying, ‘Go the extra mile’ (see Matthew 5:41). The key to success in life is in doing not only what is expected, but in doing a little more. Yes, camels are obnoxious and ugly, but out of that ugly situation came the most beautiful thing that ever happened to Rebekah.

When you’re trusting God for a miracle, nothing will drag you down faster than unbelief. Plus, it’s impossible to know what God is doing based on how things look on the surface. ‘Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen’ (Hebrews 11:1 KJV). So in order to stay strong, it’s important to fill your mind with the right things: ‘the best, not the worst;…things to praise’ (Philippians 4:8 MSG). One pastor writes: ‘There were times Jesus didn’t allow unbelief around Him, like when He raised Jairus’ daughter from the dead. When He heard the little girl had died, Jesus told her father, “Do not be afraid…only believe” (Mark 5:36 NASB)…You can believe, or you can be afraid. You can’t do both; and people who truly believe bypass human reasoning. When Jesus dealt with the spirit of death that day, there was no room for contaminated faith. So when He went to Jairus’ house, “He allowed no one to accompany Him, except Peter, James and John” (v. 37). He took those who believed in miracles, and when “they came to the house…and…saw…people loudly weeping…He said…‘Why make a commotion…The child has not died, but is asleep.’ They began laughing at Him. But putting them all outside, He took…the child’s father and mother and His own companions, and entered the room where the child was…Taking [her] by the hand, He said…‘Little girl…get up!’ Immediately the girl got up and began to walk”’ (vv. 37-42 NASB). Humanly speaking, your situation may look impossible, but when you throw out the naysayers and the doubters and believe what God says, you’ll get results.