Patience is a difficult skill to practise when it comes to relationships. This is particularly so when you feel lonely, empty, and incomplete. When that happens you can jump the gun, and make a choice based on your limited perspective rather than the larger picture that would emerge if only you had sought more information and waited patiently. To keep you from making a mistake that can negatively impact the rest of your life, here are three important steps you should take when it comes to forming a relationship: 1) You must ask the right questions. Be curious, inquisitive, and hungry for all the pieces of the puzzle. Always, always, ask! 2) You must find the answer to those questions. Sift through the surface impressions of what you see and hear and you’ll soon see a clearer picture emerging. This picture must harmonise with two things: a) your participation in this particular relationship; b) God’s will and purpose for your life. 3) You must act when the time is right, and know that you are acting on the best and most comprehensive information available. If it doesn’t work out, you can relax in the knowledge that you did everything possible to make a wise decision. Statistically, about half of all marriages today end in divorce. But if you take these three steps, you could finish up in the right half. And even if the relationship fails, you can carry into your next relationship the wisdom gleaned from the last one. ‘He made…a woman, and…brought her to the man.’ God knows just what you need, so seek His guidance.

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Why does a happy, cooperative twelve-year-old suddenly turn into a sullen, depressed thirteen-year-old? There are two powerful forces that account for some of the adolescent behaviour that drives you crazy as a parent. The first is linked to social pressures common at that age. But there is a second source of disruption. It’s related to hormonal changes that not only transform the physical body but also revolutionise how kids think. For some (not all) adolescents, human chemistry is in a state of imbalance for a few years, causing flightiness, agitation, outbursts, and even depression. This upheaval can motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults who are watching anxiously on the sidelines. This hormonal firestorm can destabilise their self-concept and create a sense of foreboding. Parents often despair during the irrationality of this period. Everything they have tried to teach their children seems to have misfired for a couple of years. Self-discipline, cleanliness, respect for authority, and common courtesy may give way to risk-taking and all-around goofiness. If that is where your child is today, there is good news – better days are coming! Your unpredictable teen can actually become a tower of strength and good judgement – if they don’t do something destructive before their hormones settle down once more. What should you do as a parent? First, don’t draw long-term conclusions based on a short-term season. Second, let them know you love them, be patient, and pray for peace of mind. ‘The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds’ (Philippians 4:7 NKJV).

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

One of the real tests of character and maturity is how you react to someone else’s success. That’s particularly so when they succeed in an area where you failed or in which you’re frustrated over not having achieved greater success. F.B. Meyer, a well-known author and minister in England, once shared the following experience to a few of his friends: ‘It was easy to pray for the success of G. Campbell Morgan when he was in America. But when he came back to England and took a church near to mine, it was something different. The old Adam in me was inclined to jealousy, but I got my heel upon his head, and whether I felt right towards my friend, I determined to act right. My church gave a reception for him, and I acknowledged that if it was not necessary for me to preach Sunday evenings, I would dearly love to go and hear him myself. Well, that made me feel right towards him. But just see how the dear Lord helped me out of my difficulty. There was Charles Spurgeon preaching wonderfully on one side of me, and G. Campbell Morgan on the other. Both were so popular and drew such crowds that our church caught the overflow, and we had all we could accommodate.’ No matter how well you do something, someone else will come along and do it better. So, here are your options: compare yourself to them, compete with them, criticise them, compliment them, and cooperate with them. The latter is what Paul meant when he wrote, ‘Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another’ (v. 10 NKJV).

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

In baseball, the catcher tries to distract the batter. On one occasion when Yogi Berra was behind the plate, Hank Aaron came up to bat. Yogi started in, ‘Hank, you’ve got the writing on the bat in the wrong place. The words should be facing you.’ Yogi kept going, ‘You better check it.’ Hank didn’t say a word. On the next pitch, Hank hit the ball over the centre field fence. He rounded the bases, stepped on home plate, looked at Yogi Berra, and said, ‘I didn’t come here to read, I came to win.’ It’s vital to know why you are here and not to let anyone talk you out of your calling or purpose. In the world today, people say they are trying to find themselves. Such a search is pointless. As one pastor states: ‘If you don’t know who you are, how do you know what to look for? And how would you know when you have found it, since you don’t know what you are looking for? Toasters don’t find themselves…A toaster…just [has] to do what the manufacturer had in mind.’ Paul had a supernatural encounter on the Damascus road when Christ said to him, ‘I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you’ (v. 16 NKJV). To discover your life’s purpose, you must start with God as your reference point. He made you; He redeemed you; He has a plan for your life – and He will reveal it to you.

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

What an amazing question Jesus asked this paralysed man: ‘Do you want to get well?’ Who wouldn’t? You might be surprised! Kay Arthur tells of passing a beggar one day on a street in the Old City of Jerusalem. As he sat begging, his trouser leg was pulled up to reveal his terrible sores. She writes: ‘My nurse’s heart brought my feet to a halt. I wanted to bend down and shield the open wound from the dust…It should be washed, medicated, and dressed by someone who cared. My friend gently took me by my elbow and propelled me towards our destination. I was a tourist and did not know about these things. She then proceeded to tell me that this man did not wish to be made well. He made his living from his wound! As I looked back…I caught one last glimpse of someone who was less than what he could have been.’ The man lying helpless on a cot by the pool called Bethesda had been there for thirty-eight years. Question: how long does it take before a problem becomes a way of life? Jesus said to him, ‘Get up…and walk’ (v. 8 NIV), the inference being that it’s time to get up and go to work – to become a parent to your children, a partner to your husband or wife, a contributor to your community, a solution to someone else’s problem – it’s time to take responsibility for your life. Are you letting your past or present circumstances keep you stuck and stop you from moving forward? If Jesus asked you, ‘Do you want to get well emotionally, physically, and spiritually?’ what would your answer be? Today let Jesus make you whole!

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Graduate, here are eleven lessons to empower and inspire you: 1) You’re here for a reason, and the most vital thing you can do is find it. 2) Follow your passion. You may not already know what it is, but make it your mission to discover it. 3) Although you might love Facebook, you might not like working for the company. And because you enjoy cooking doesn’t mean you will enjoy owning a restaurant. 4) Don’t give up because the work is hard. Give up because deep inside you know there is something different for you to do, or you’re not improving yourself or the organisation, or you know you’re not supposed to be there anymore. 5) Learn from every experience. Each job gets you ready for the work you were born to do. 6) Your present job may not be your highest purpose, but it can assist as an agent to prepare you for it. 7) In whichever job you accept after graduation, serve. Serving in minor ways affords you opportunities to serve in major ways. 8) Your dream job probably isn’t the one you dreamed about. Frequently we end up in remarkable careers outside the scope of our degrees. 9) The pursuit of your purpose is filled with difficulties, wins, detours, dead ends, and postponements. Remain hopeful and faithful. 10) You may want something to happen immediately, but if it did, would you be ready for it? 11) Seeds yield to the ground so they can be utilised for a greater purpose. So, plant yourself, and let yourself be used for a harvest to benefit others.

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Being in a position of leadership won’t give you courage, but showing courage will establish you as a leader in the eyes of others. Larry Osborne said, ‘The most striking thing about highly effective leaders is how little they have in common. What one swears by, another warns against. But one trait stands out: the willingness to risk.’ Courage isn’t the lack of fear; it’s doing what you’re afraid to do. It’s having the power to release the familiar and advance into new territory. The psalmist said, ‘The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’ (v. 6 NKJV). Roman historian Tacitus wrote, ‘The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.’ Courage has the reverse effect. It swings doors open, which is one of its most amazing benefits. British theologian John Henry Newman said, ‘Fear not that your life will come to an end but that it will never have a beginning.’ Without the courage to begin, you have no future. Here is something ironic: those who lack the courage to take risks and those who have the courage to take risks experience the same amount of fear in life. The only difference is that those who are afraid retreat while those who show courage advance. So, how do you handle fear? Do you embrace it or try to escape it? Do you put yourself in situations that stretch your faith? Or have you withdrawn so far into your comfort zone that you never feel fear? Only when you have answered these questions can you begin to overcome your fears.

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Covetousness will rob you of contentment. It works like this: you browse through a home-decorating magazine, and the home you were thankful for an hour ago suddenly seems ramshackle. Or you see an ad on TV for a new car, and the car in your driveway suddenly looks like an old banger. God expects you to have goals for your life and to provide for your family but beware of coveting things so much that you become obsessed with how to get them. When Israel went to war with Jericho, God told them everything in the city was to be destroyed. So afterwards, when Israel stormed the small town of Ai and met with a humiliating defeat, Joshua was devastated. When he asked God why they had lost the battle, He told him it was because of sin in the Israelite camp. When Joshua investigated, Achan, one of his soldiers, confessed, ‘When I saw…the spoils…I coveted them and took them’ (Joshua 7:21 NKJV). When Achan tried to conceal his sin by hiding the stolen goods in his tent, it cost him and his family their lives. When you covet, you question God’s wisdom, willingness, and ability to provide for you. Don’t do it! When you find yourself wanting something, pray about it and trust God to give it to you – if it’s His will. His Word assures us, ‘No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’ God knows what’s good for you and what’s not, and all your pleading won’t change His mind. But when your desire is to do His will, He promised, ‘You will always have plenty’ (2 Corinthians 9:8 NCV).

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Covetousness will rob you of contentment. It works like this: you browse through a home-decorating magazine, and the home you were thankful for an hour ago suddenly seems ramshackle. Or you see an ad on TV for a new car, and the car in your driveway suddenly looks like an old banger. God expects you to have goals for your life and to provide for your family but beware of coveting things so much that you become obsessed with how to get them. When Israel went to war with Jericho, God told them everything in the city was to be destroyed. So afterwards, when Israel stormed the small town of Ai and met with a humiliating defeat, Joshua was devastated. When he asked God why they had lost the battle, He told him it was because of sin in the Israelite camp. When Joshua investigated, Achan, one of his soldiers, confessed, ‘When I saw…the spoils…I coveted them and took them’ (Joshua 7:21 NKJV). When Achan tried to conceal his sin by hiding the stolen goods in his tent, it cost him and his family their lives. When you covet, you question God’s wisdom, willingness, and ability to provide for you. Don’t do it! When you find yourself wanting something, pray about it and trust God to give it to you – if it’s His will. His Word assures us, ‘No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’ God knows what’s good for you and what’s not, and all your pleading won’t change His mind. But when your desire is to do His will, He promised, ‘You will always have plenty’ (2 Corinthians 9:8 NCV).

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.

Dr Gerald Mann writes: ‘Moralisers are faithful to remind us that King David’s life was all downhill after Bathsheba-gate. They list the litany of his woes: the baby of the illicit union died. He never recovered his moral stature. His sons fought over succession. One of them was beheaded for trying to dethrone him. God deprived him of his grandest dream: building the Temple – too much blood on his hands! But take another look at the story. The opening words of the book of Proverbs silence such sanctimony: “The proverbs of Solomon the son of David” (Proverbs 1:1 KJV). Solomon, the fountain of God’s wisdom, sprang from two people who had adulterated their person and privilege. For all of David’s heroic feats: giant-killing, kingdom-consolidating, hymn-writing, his single greatest achievement was the son of his old-age. Solomon is a monument of contradiction to all the naysaying moralists of the ages. Where else did Solomon get his insight, far-sight, and foresight, but at the knees of two broken souls mended by the fires of forgiveness and given the grace of a second chance…You can begin again after your Bathsheba-gate!’ The Bible warns us about the consequences of sin because anything that has the power to hurt you concerns the God who loves you and wants only the best for you. When you wilfully sin, God won’t let you off, but neither will He let you go! And God’s love for you has no expiration date. He said, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.’ The truth is, God still loves you!

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.